Manhunters Win amid allegations of ball handling

Last week the Manhunters faced the Innsmouth Shadows in a tense Semi-Final match in the Ankle Biter Competition. The match ended at full time with both teams having scored once during fierce blizzard conditions (in an underground stadium…). We can exclusively reveal that shortly after the match went into the ‘Golden Touchdown’ period, the match was won by the Manhunters! None where more shocked then the Manhunters Head Coach who jumped into the air screaming “Manhunters Win, Manhunters Win”.

The Shadows were less than impressed by this display. Moments before the Touchdown was scored they had the Manhunters on the ropes and where poised to score the winning Touchdown themselves. However the ball bounced into the crowed where it was thrown with perfect accuracy from the halfway line to the Shadows Endzone. From there it was a straight sprint as several players from both teams raced to get the ball first. To be honest the Shadows zombies and Flesh Gollum’s didn’t stand a chance against Blitzer Moist Von Lipwig and the Manhunters go through to the Ankle Biter final in 3 weeks time.

Questions where raised when it later turned out that the area of the stands where the ball was thrown in from was occupied by the entire Loren Rangers team. The Rangers deny any involvement and claim they where there simply to watch two of their old rivals battle it out. To quote the Rangers Star Thrower Erison Youngwhite:

I have never touched any of the Manhunters Balls

Enough said…..

6 comments

  1. LIES! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE ON ALL OF ELF KIND!

    From Treehugger’s to Emo Goth Elves: ALL WILL BE PURGED.

  2. Strong words there young man. We watched the game yes but we didn’t throw that ball into the Innsmouths touchline and Erison wasn’t wearing his throwing glow at all during the match. We also didn’t cheer or scream when the Glorious Moist von Lipwig (Ahem I ment him Andy, Nick said Vimes on the phone :-p ) ran to the ball with ranger-like speed and score the winning touchdown.

    I would like to say well done to the Manhunters and in no way was this victory elf-enduced. By the way Manhunters thank you for the special fruit basket you sent to us, although i’m not a great fan of grapefurit, but thank you anyway.

    Edit – Thank you for the mistake……

  3. Ahem, it was Lipwig who scored the winning TD. Stupid Elves cannot even read! We are surprised by the Grapefruits, I would have thought the Manhunters would have sent baskets of Lemons!

    I am inclined to believe the Rangers on this one though! Seeing as the ball had been touched by humans and rotting undead I don’t believe for one second that Youngwhite would have touched the ball, never mind actually making an accurate pass (he is losing his touch this season).

    Well done Manhunters though, you may actually collect your third “1st place losers” trophy this season after the Blitzers demolish you.

  4. *cough* 65 Completions *cough* 2 average per game *cough, cough* Less games *cough*

    Sorry terrible cough there.

  5. – “Sorry terrible cough there.”

    That’d be the Crimson Death powder I sprinkled into your refreshments in our last game kicking in.

    I was wondering when that was going to start working.

  6. That powder would also explain the delusions. To think he still believes his team are the best.

    To be fair he does have the biggest team in the league (although that is mainly because his pre madonnas demand so much money), (arguebly) the best catchers in the league, and the best throwers in the league but that dones not count for anything if he is getting slammed by ourselves and the other top teams in the league (although I only care when we beat them, the other teams can go swivel).

    Yougwhite may have the best passing record of all time but these records are ment to be broken. We will see in three seasons if that still stands (to prove a point he didn’t win the top thrower award this season for the first time, he is already slipping).

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