Snowballs and Lemons, a look back at the Manhunters

With the recent news that the Middenhein Manhunters have gone missing, we at the WarZone thought it best to take a look back at one of the founding four teams of the HDWSBBL and their accomplishments.

Newer fans will mainly know the Manhunters for setting the all time losing streak in the HDWSBBL. While it is true that they only managed to win three league games over the span of the last two seasons (and one of them being via a forfeit) they have actually accomplished many feats in the HDWSBBL. Here are some facts you may not have known:

  • They have managed to accumulate three runners-up trophies in their three year career in the HDWSBBL (in the Open Scramble 2506/07, the Championship I and the Ankle Biter).
  • Their head coach only delivered one post match comment in all of their 28 games! The others have been given by random team members, in the form of a letter shoved under the door of the HDWSBBL press office, or the poor janitor
  • They are the only team to have competed in every HDWSBBL League Cup, Challenge Cup and Shield competition since the leagues conception.
  • The Team received the award for the top passing team for the Ankle Biter competition.
  • Collectively, the team has received 8 Player Awards (3 Seasonal Awards and 5 Competition Awards) and 5 Team Awards (all for Competitions).
  • Star Blitzer, Moist Von Lipwig, was the first player to score a hat trick in the leagues history. When he was awarded the MVP in the same match he set a record for most Star Player Points in a single game, a record that stood to the very end of the 2508/09 season.
  • Despite the high fame and glory that they receive, the Manhunters refused to hire any Catchers until the end of their second season. Instead they relied upon their fierce Blitzers to handle the ball and score the Touchdowns.

After three seasons the Manhunters have seen some of the finest Human players in the leagues history. Below are some of the more notable stars the team has groomed (Please note that facts and figures are correct at time of “retirement”!).

#6 – Moist Von Lipwig – Blitzer – 70 SPP

25 14 4 0 0 4 70

Von Lipwig is without doubt the star of the team. Bursting onto the scene at the beginning of the 1st season his race with Elison Crownstar of the Loren Rangers to be the top scorer and best player defined the season’s activities. Ultimately he missed out on Top Scorer but he was awarded the player of the Season award.

Von Lipwig appears to have many lives. There are a few occasions where he was believed to be dead but made a miraculous recovery.

Since then he has always been a thorn in the side of the opposition although the lack of support from the rest of the team has hindered him from reliving his glory days.

  • Von Lipwig received the 2506/07 Player of the Season award for his activities
  • Von Lipwig has received two Top Player in a competition awards (for the Open Scramble 2506/07 and the Ankle Biter)
  • Von Lipwig was the first player to score a hat trick in a single game. In total he managed to score 1 hat trick and finish one game with 4 Touchdowns
  • Von Lipwig is the player with the most combined SPP in any competition of the HDWSBBL Shield
  • Von Lipwig is ranked the 8th best player in the leagues History. At the point of his retirement he was the 8th best active player.
  • Von Lipwig is ranked as the best Human Blitzer in the HDWSBBL as a whole.
  • Von Lipwig is the highest ranked Blitzer in the HDWSBBL as a whole and for the HDWSBBL League Cup and HDWSBBL Shield competitions
  • Vop Lipwig was the top scorer for the Mnuhunters with 14 HDWSBBL Touchdowns
  • Von Lipwig is the most violent of the Manhunters having caused 4 casualties in his HDWSBBL career. None og which resulted in deaths.

#7 – Lobsang Ludd – Thrower – 81 SPP

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At the time of the team’s retirement, Ludd was the teams Captain, reversing the teams losing streak and almost capturing the HDWSBBL Shield. One of the most underrated throwers in the league, Ludd has consistently been in the top 3 throwers of any competition he has taken part in.

  • Ludd has been awarded the best thrower in a competition once for his performance in the Ankle Biter competition.
  • Ludd was the best thrower in the team with 52 accurate completions in his HDWSBBL career.
  • Ludd is one of the few Manhunter players to have taken part in every game the team has played.
  • Over his career, Ludd has been award the MVP of the match 5 times
  • Ludd is ranked the 3rd best player in the leagues History. At the point of his retirement he was the 3rd best active player
  • Ludd is ranked as the best human thrower the HDWSBBL has ever seen
  • Ludd is the highest ranked thrower in the all time top player list.
  • Ludd is the most experienced player of the Manhunters with 81 SPP
  • Ludd is ranked the 8th best player in the Challenge Cup competitions with 12 SPP, 7th in the league cup competitions with 55 SPP, and 2nd in the Shield competitions with 10 SPP
  •  Ludd is ranked the joint 3rd best thrower of the HDWSBBL Challenge Cup with 5 completions.

#8 – Lupin Wonse – Linesman – 0 SPP

25 0 0 0 0 0 0

Wonse holds a unique position in the HDWSBBL in that during his 25 game career he has not received any Star Player Points! This feat surely puts him at the top of the pile of most useless players in the leagues history.

#12 – Janson Ogg – Linesman – 14 SPP

28 2 1 2 2 0 14

As the brother of Sean Ogg, Janson has been with the team since its inception and was one of the players who suggested changing their name to the Manhunters to escape their legal issues. Through various captaincies he has been one of the more dependable Linesmen, often right in the thick of it on the front line.

  • Ogg is one of the few Manhunter players to have taken part in every game the team has played.
  • Ogg is the only Manhunter to have scored a Touchdown, caused a Causality, caught an Interception and made a successful pass in his HDWSBBL career.

#14 – Carrot IronFounderson – 17 SPP

25 3 1 1 0 1 17

While IronFounderson has not achieved the glory of his fellow Blitzers, he was instrumental to the team’s early successes. Despite a history of poor ball handling skills, IronFounderson has constantly improved his dedication to the game and his team. Nothing proves this more then his return after a career-threatening leg injury which severely reduced his mobility. After intensive training he was able to overcome this disability and return to full form within a matter of games.

Although not the most successful team in the league, there is a void created with their departure.

Wherever you are Manhunters, we at the HDWSBBL salute you. May NUFFLE finally bless you.

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