Season 4 – Week 2 – Fall of the Establishment

Some coaches believe that to return to the league, is to tempt fate. This certainly appears to be the case this week with four of the returning teams suffering at the hands of underdogs.

In North Division this week, the reigning Champions KKC took on the Tail Slammers. On paper this should have been a one sided match but it looks like the Tail Slammers have been undergoing intense training over the summer break. The KKC dominated early in the match and ran home a quick Touchdown but the Skaven quickly regrouped as their Rat Ogre (and Captain) Lashiform began to plough through the lines of the Dark Elves.

The most contentious moment of the match came in the dying seconds. Scetto of the Slammers had managed to make it to within yards of the KKC End Zone. The Dark Elves had him surrounded but by some miracle he managed to cross the line and score the Touchdown to end the match as a draw. The fans in attendance were instantly split in opinion as the final whistle blew as he crossed the line. After the referees had watched the replay a number of times, the Skaven Line Ref determined that the ball had crossed the line before the whistle blew. We are sure the debate will go on for some time.

South Division saw the debuting Bile Blitzers take on the Flash Grinders. The Grinders were very hopeful to continue their winning streak which they started last week. The Orcs dominated with an early Touchdown but soon the pitch began to get bogged down with slime and assorted body parts. Suddenly the Bile ones scored out of nowhere to score an equalising Touchdown.

After only one game the Blitzers are starting to see the side effects of their gross illness. A routine punch to the face of Donglecut resulted in both his arm and leg falling off. The team assistants managed to sew the limbs back on but we don’t think the player will ever be the same again!

East Division saw the boisterous Beaumont Blitzers take on the debuting Atrocity Exhibition. The Blitzers have been a power house of late and many people agree that they are likely to pick up a Major HDWSBBL Championship Cup this season. Last season they proved fairly dominant and not many teams could withstand the onslaught of the Blitzers front line (which consists of a Troll and four Black Orcs!). However, what they didn’t expect was the Undead might of Atrocity.

The game had only been going on for mere seconds before the blood started to flow into the dug-outs. The Blitzers Apothecary had his work cut out for him that night as “da Boyz” kept coming in to get fixed up. Atrocity had hired two Mercenary Ghouls before the match which spent most of the time harassing the Orcs, stopping them from forming their normal unbreakable cage.

Ultimately the Blitzers could not compete against the onslaught and lost the match 4-1. They have been very quiet since then but we expect they are licking their wounds, drinking a few pints and “finkin of ways to bash da undead”. Only time will tell to see if they have learnt anything from the encounter. One thing is for sure, East Division just got a whole lot more interesting.

West Division saw two matches this week. The first was the Man Eaters taking on the Ruskin Arms Bar Flys. Last Season the Man Eaters managed to surprise the entire league by winning most of their matches and advancing to the Semi-Finals of the Championship III. Hopes were high that Hairy Mac and the team would repeat the same this season. The Bar Flys must have been watching old tapes before the match as they appeared to know where to strike at the Ogres. As normal, the Man Eaters Snotlings started to drop like flies and the Bar Flys skipped across the pitch for an easy Touchdown. The eventual result was 2-1 which is the first win for the Bar Flys in the HDWSBBL.

It wasn’t all bad news for the Man Eaters though. They managed to kill one of the Bar Flys and they have announced two more Snotlings are to join their team ready for the next match.

The other match in West Division was the Valhallen Vixen’s taking on Ragnars Swift Velocity. RSV have been very busy over the summer; they have a new Head Coach, they have lost two of their players and they have two news ones to try and break in. Before the match they were very optimistic of the outcome. So were the fans as 33,000 managed to cream into Bay View Stadium to try and watch the match, the Season’s highest attendance so far.

However, the Vixen’s brought their ‘A’ game and had used their inducement money to hire two Mercenaries. RSV began with the ball and, as expected, quickly passed to the top ranked player from last season Roeder who ran home a Touchdown in the opening minutes of the match. From there though, something went wrong and that was the last time they dominated any part of the match.

The Vixen’s drive saw them form an impressive cage and drove down the right wing of the pitch. RSV threw everything at it but the Vixen’s Snow Troll kept several players at bay. The most shocking moment of the match saw RSV Linesman Jensen Ornoff shoved into the crowd and subsequently torn apart by the section of Vixen fans in attendance!

This death stunned the team who could sit back and watch as the Vixens equalised. Moments later, the Vixen’s used this momentum to perform a lightning fast play past the RSV defence to score a second just before Half Time.

The second half was much of the same; the Vixen’s started with the ball and formed an impressive cage and drove down towards the End Zone unopposed. Finally, with minutes left on the clock, RSV received the kick. The normal plays began however; there was one slight problem as they could not pick up the ball! Thrower James Hetfielder needed three attempts to pick up the ball and when he finally did, a lightning strike from above took him down! With the Vixen’s closing fast it was down to rookie thrower Felix Alder to secure the ball and pass it out of harms way. Unfortunately for him he fumbled under pressure and the Vixen’s Runner Viktor grabbed the ball and ended the match 4-1 to the Vixens!

Picking the coaches comment of the week has been tough this time as many of our coaches uttered some good lines. In the end we decided to go with the Tail Slammers as they decided to use this historic occasion to debut a new chant for their team:

We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal coming to sewers near you!

Shadows, your next!

Next week should be a good one as The Loren Rangers make their return against the debuting Teotigua Predators. Will the Rangers suffer the same luck as the other established teams or will they prevail against all odds? Also not to be missed is the return of the Reavers as they will battle on of the other teams in East Division. Can they prevail against the violence being directed towards them?

Quick Summary of Week 2

  • 1 game in North Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 1 game in South Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 1 game in East Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 2 games in West Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 19 Touchdowns scored
  • 20 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 15 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 31,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance (The highest of the season so far).

Match Results for Week 2

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – North Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – South Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – East Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – West Division

Obituaries for Week 2

League Standings for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (Week 2)

The League standings are interesting this week. In North Division, the KKC only have a 1 point lead on the rest of the pack. The first team to win a match in this division are headed straight for the top of the table!

South Division is still awaiting two of the teams to play but it looks like it could be an interesting division this year.

East Division got a lot more violent this week as Atrocity made their debut. We are still awaiting the return of the Reavers which could change the standings once again.

West Division contains the biggest shock. Former HDWSBBL Champions RSV are in fourth place with the Man Eaters occupying third. The Vixen’s are starting to create an impressive lead down there but the Bar Flys appear to be finding their feet in the league and could soon be strong challengers for the top of East Division.

North Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Karond Kar Corsairs 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2 3 -1 2
The Innsmouth Shadows 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 3 0 3 1
Drackwald Deadheads 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1
Tail Slammers 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 2 2 0 1
We Tree Fellows 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 0 3 -3 1

South Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Grappler Flesh Grinders 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 2 1 1 4
The Bile Blitzers 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 2 -1 1
Teotigua Predators 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Loren Rangers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Orcland Cleavers 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0 0 0 0

East Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Atrocity Exhibition 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 4 3 1 3
Beaumont Blitzers 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 4 4 0 3
Mc Cauligh Reavers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Tutsbone Jackles 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 1 -1 0

West Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Valhallen Vixen’s 2 2 0 0 7 1 6 2 3 -1 6
Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 2 1 0 1 2 4 -2 1 4 -3 3
The Man Eaters 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 3 0 3 0
Ragnars Swift Velocity 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 2 1 1 0

Player Statistics for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (Week 2)

Best Players

Voktor continues to astound all by maintaining his position at the top of the player charts! With the Rangers and Reavers returning next week, it will be interesting to see how long he can remain at the top.

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 23
2 Erbus Furius Catcher Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 11
3 Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 9
4 Bruce Cruel-Lobber Ghoul Drackwald Deadheads 8
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 8
Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 8
(180) Ant ‘Parky’ Catcher We Tree Fellows 8
8 Jargon ‘The Jawsplitter’ Juggernaught Troll Beaumont Blitzers 7
T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 7
Mott Dorgan Linesman Ragnars Swift Velocity 7

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 6
2 Ashinan Wyrmbane Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 2
Bodgeit ‘n’ Scarper Goblin Beaumont Blitzers 2
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 2
Scetto Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 2
Lucien Lifetaker Wight Atrocity Exhibition 2
Isaacs Shingnawer Ghoul Atrocity Exhibition 2
9 Bruce Cruel-Lobber Ghoul Drackwald Deadheads 1
Grunt Blitzer Beaumont Blitzers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Captain Whipple Wight The Innsmouth Shadows 2
Grgrad Moulder Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 2
3 Gunnhilder Linesman Valhallen Vixen’s 1
Javier Masher Zombie Drackwald Deadheads 1
Paddy ‘the Player’ Punisher Black Orc Blocker Beaumont Blitzers 1
Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 1
Joeseph Kluger Linesman Ragnars Swift Velocity 1
Mott Dorgan Linesman Ragnars Swift Velocity 1
Reinhard Ulfwerner Valhallen Vixen’s 1
Grim Bob Ogre The Man Eaters 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 5
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 5
3 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 2
T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
James Hetfielder Thrower Ragnars Swift Velocity 2
Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 2
7 Gunnhilder Linesman Valhallen Vixen’s 1
Olva Linesman Valhallen Vixen’s 1
Ciro Lucius Blitzer Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 1
Cronus Malitkay Thrower Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 1

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Danger Mouse Line Rat Tail Slammers 1
Varkon Darkblade Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 1

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