Season 4 – Week 4 – All to Play For

Reporter: Bob Fortune

With the teams who started late starting to catch up, there is still everything to play for still. Five games took place this week and we have all the roundups right here.

In North division two games took place. The first game featured the Innsmouth Shadows against old veterans the DrackwaldDeadheads in the first HDWSBBL Necromantic derby. The match was carefully planned out by both team officials stating in the match day programme that it WILL be a very slow game withvarious body parts falling off in the process. But regardless of what the officials said it was an amazing match to watch. The Deadheads won the match in the end with both touchdowns coming from star player Bruce Cruel-Lobber. His touchdowns have boosted the Deadheads position in third place. No doubt the Elves had something to do with the result in Mr Curwen’s eyes.

The second match in North was a match that was waiting to happen. Both coaches from WTF and the Tail Slammers have been dying to play each other and have even submitted a request to place each other in a “losers cup” match to really see who the worst team was last season. The board laughed the matter off and the match never took place, but it didn’t stop the dreams the two coaches had. That day finally came this week. A record amount of fans turned up for both sides and the roof was raised by the two titans of “bad” entering the field. The match was well fought but they both proved to be no better than the other and drew. When the fans left the stadium they were a bit confused as to who is still the worst team of last season. This reporter thinks that some people need to get out of the past and face facts that the Tail Slammers are joint top. Now who dreamed that?!!

South division was full of touchdowns this week with11 coming from the two games, six of them from the Rangers stomping the Bile Biltzers alone! Their coach was adamant that the Rangers “stood no chance against the might of Nurgle” but the Rangers soon laid to rest his hopes and dreams of a victory. During that match the Rangers broke a new record for the history books, the quickest time to leave the pitch, have their interviews, get changed and get on the team bus home. Apparently they did it in speedy three minutes, but an official time has been kept secret by some unknown party and the reason for this dramatic exit is still unknown. Perhaps it was the wall to wall grime and vomit everywhere as well as body parts, and mouldy food…..and blood….and vomit, oh already said that one, urmm….

The second match was between the Grappler Flesh Grinders and the TeotiguaPredators. The Grinders continued their unorthodox approach to Orc tactics by passing, dodging and running with the ball, rather than smashing your opponent into the gooey stuff you find in strange jars. I recall that the Orcs call any team who use that sort of play “Girly Elves” and is considered to be the most humiliating thing to be called in Orc culture. But none-the-less it won the Grinders the match. The Predators put up a good fight by bringing the match to a draw and almost winning, but the Orcs prevailed and took their position in first place.

The last match which was played this week was in East division between the Reavers and the reformed Tutsbone Jackles. The match was very fast paced on the dark elves part that is, but the Jackles put up one hell of a fight, making the Reavers work to score their touchdowns. The final result was two nil to the Reaverswhich took them up to joint first with Atrocity Exhibition. I cannot wait until the time comes when they have to play each other.

Coaches comment of this week has to go to the very true and funny comment by Jock MacBigOne of We Tree Fellows

The cleaning bill is going to be huge! Lice infestation is rife, those cheating gutter runners need sorting out….or at least a shower! They lie, they cheat, they steal. Don’t worry they are as c**p as we are!

This week has been action packed and very exciting. This reporter hopes he will see more of the same next week and with a bit of luck, the rest of the season.

Quick Summary of Week 4

  • 2 games in North Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 2 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 1 game in East Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 19 Touchdowns scored
  • 13 Casualties caused (0 resulted in Death)
  • 21 Completions made
  • 29,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 4

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – North Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – South Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – East Division

League Standings for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (Week 4)

With the recent results there is still a lot to play for.

In Norththe Corsairs and Slammers are tied on points and the Deadheads are only a point behind them both.

South division has the GrapplerFlesh Grinders leading the way, but the Rangers are only a point behind with a game to play and the Biltzers closing the gap.

East division is a dead heat at present with the Reaversand Atrocity Exhibition both tied on points. The Beaumont Blitzers could climb the ladder quickly if they created a few upset results in their favour.

And lastly West division will get very interesting. Although the Vixens have a solid lead the Barflysand Man Eaters have a game in hand. As well as this RSV have two games in hand. If they win both they could rise up the table to second.

North Division

Karond Kar Corsairs 3 1 2 0 6 4 2 2 3 -1 5
Tail Slammers 3 1 2 0 6 5 1 4 7 -3 5
Drackwald Deadheads 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 3 0 3 4
We Tree Fellows 3 0 2 1 5 7 -2 2 5 -3 2
The Innsmouth Shadows 3 0 1 2 3 6 -3 6 2 4 1

South Division

Grappler Flesh Grinders 3 2 1 0 7 4 3 3 1 2 7
The Loren Rangers 2 2 0 0 12 2 10 3 2 1 6
The Bile Blitzers 3 1 1 1 3 8 -5 3 6 -3 4
Orcland Cleavers 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 2 1 1 0
Teotigua Predators 2 0 0 2 4 9 -5 1 2 -1 0

East Division

Mc Cauligh Reavers 2 2 0 0 6 0 6 3 5 -2 6
Atrocity Exhibition 2 2 0 0 6 1 5 7 6 1 6
Beaumont Blitzers 3 1 0 2 3 9 -6 8 5 3 3
The Tutsbone Jackles 3 0 0 3 1 6 -5 4 6 -2 0

West Division

Valhallen Vixen’s 3 2 1 0 9 3 6 5 6 -1 7
Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 2 1 0 1 2 4 -2 1 4 -3 3
The Man Eaters 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 6 3 3 1
Ragnars Swift Velocity 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 2 1 1 0

Player Statistics for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (Week 4)

Viktor remains on top as the best player, despite the fact the Vixens didn’t play this week. However four players are now all sitting on 14 and a few of them have a match in hand to catch up. He also remains the top scorer, but the same situation is in play with seven players all only four behind with matches in hand. He will have to work hard in their next match to keep his lead.

Erison Youngwhite of the Rangers was vaulted himself to the top of the passing players after only two games. Could this be another record breaking competition for the leagues best thrower?

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 26
2 Bruce Cruel-Lobber Ghoul Drackwald Deadheads 14
T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 14
(180) Ant ‘Parky’ Catcher We Tree Fellows 14
Elison Crownstar Catcher The Loren Rangers 14
6 T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 13
Sutose Snarle Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 13
8 Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 12
9 Erbus Furius Catcher Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 11
Arcani Spark Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 11

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 7
2 Bruce Cruel-Lobber Ghoul Drackwald Deadheads 3
Ashinan Wyrmbane Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 3
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 3
(180) Ant ‘Parky’ Catcher We Tree Fellows 3
Elesser Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 3
Elison Crownstar Catcher The Loren Rangers 3
Caneran Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 3
9 Bodgeit ‘n’ Scarper Goblin Beaumont Blitzers 2
Rulg Ear-Hacker Thrower Orcland Cleavers 2

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Captain Whipple Wight The Innsmouth Shadows 3
Grim Bob Ogre The Man Eaters 3
Rab ‘C’ Roadblock Black Orc Blocker Beaumont Blitzers 3
4 Lashiform Rat Ogre Tail Slammers 2
Gariad Blitzer Tail Slammers 2
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
Grgrad Moulder Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 2
Briel Fester Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 2
Rempre Netere Mummie The Tutsbone Jackles 2
Cappella Goldfalcon Wardancer The Loren Rangers 2

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 (03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 8
Erison Youngwhite Thrower The Loren Rangers 8
3 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 6
4 Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 5
5 T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 4
6 Caio Duilio Runner Mc Cauligh Reavers 3
(21) Wallace Linesman We Tree Fellows 3
8 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 2
Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba Thrower Beaumont Blitzers 2
James Hetfielder Thrower Ragnars Swift Velocity 2

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