Gerhards Soapbox: Pepslay Carnage

Editors note: Gerhard is here again with a review of the 1st round of the Pepslay Challenge 2509/10

Going into the Pepslay Challenge, we all had high hopes that it would be a spectacular competition but I think we are all a bit dumbstruck with just how violent the first round was.

With an unprecedented number of deaths, the Finger of Death had a busy night. Dead Skinks, (re) dead Ghouls, Dead Rats and more importantly, dead Elves could be seen across the stadiums of the league.

Now, I know that I am late with getting my review out, but as it turns out, I can review all the matches in one go as they have all now taken place. I was pleased to see that five of my nine predictions were correct; it shows I can still read teams.

Starting with the ones I got wrong then. The dino midgets greatly upset me when they robbed the Jackels of some points. I was hoping that the Khemri would knock some sense into the team but instead the little Skinks had a field day. I have the last laugh though as they will face the Beaumont Blitzers in the next round and get pummelled.

As we are talking about them, the Blitzers did better then expected against the ‘Pro’ Elves. They managed to overcome their recent poor performance and pound WTF into submission.

The Shadows managed to pull off their first win of the season against the Tail Slammers. I cannot say I am too upset about getting that prediction wrong though. They even managed to make my day by tripping over Spider Rat, ending his career for good. I swear, if I hear the fans singing that bloody song one more time…..Oh, and to repeat my quote that the WarZone stole this week, Erza Wheedon stopped being a F**k Tard and actually earned his dog food. Good doggie.

The Rangers *split* pulled of an incredible victory although at a great cost.  After suffering three deaths during the match, I am sure we will soon see Jordan Hawk roaming the Elf Gay Bars looking for new talent for the team. The Man Eaters had a good attempt at destroying them. Unfortunately they only did half the job as there were Elves still standing at the end of the match.

So, the five I got right then.

Atrocity ploughed through the Vixen’s as anticipated. I did enjoy seeing the Snow troll taking a kicking although I was surprised as everyone that it managed to regenerate its injuries. Who knew that a Snow Troll could re-grow all of its limbs in only 24 hours? Fortunately it looks like the depleted Vixen’s will be facing Velocity in the next round. Hopefully the boys can take advantage of this (as RSV needs all the help they can get at the moment).

Speaking of RSV, they played well against the Corsairs but the agile elves ended up taking advantage of the Blizzards and Pouring rain and romped all over them. It didn’t help that the blasted Valdrek Bloodgate was leaping around like a kangaroo. At least the Assassin got creamed. That will teach him to try and stab one of the toughest Linesmen in the league! As their “reward” the Corsairs are up against Atrocity in the next round. Hilarious.

The Deadheads defeated the Cleavers by a comfortable margin despite the presence of a mercenary Troll running around. I like the Cleavers so I am hoping they improve soon otherwise I might have to change my mind and select them as my choice of team who will come last.

The Reavers (just) managed to win against the Bile Blitzers. I tell you, the Bile ones are getting better every week. It is only a matter of time until they actually manage to accomplish something. Of course it helps that they have now found a Beast of Nurgle to play on their team!

Finally, the Flesh Grinders destroyed the Bar Flys. I was there in person for this one and I didn’t think that there would be any of the Bar Flys left after the way the Grinders took them apart in the second half. It has been pointed out to me that I misspelt the Grinders last time as the “Flash” Grinders. Personally, I like that nickname of them. They certainly stand out against the other Orc Teams in the League! In the next round they get to take on the Rangers at the top of the table. Hopefully they can finish the job the Man Eaters Started.

Rounding up, looking at the announcement of the next round made today, it won’t be too long until we see the second round. It is interesting to see that all four teams from West Division are stuck at the bottom of the table! What is going on in that Division! And yes, I know who is at the top, I am just not going to give them the satisfaction of mentioning it.

And see, I managed to write a whole article without mentioning Crownstars death. Oops. . I will be back soon with more rambling thoughts, until then I can be found dancing on a certain Wood Elf’s Grave.

Gerhard

Editors note: at this point, we turn over his manuscript and find a page full of laughter. We worry about him sometimes.

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