Gerhards Soapbox: a look at the best

Gerhard is back for another article. This time he has been tasked with taking a look at the best players of the league. Hopefully this will be the first in a series of articles, we just need to sit him down and get him to write them.

With all the action that goes on in the league, it is often easy to overlook some of the teams and the players that make this league so great. The people who pay my (rubbish) wages have tasked me with taking a look at some of the “undiscovered Gems” out there in the league.

The first part of this below. I thought it would be best to start with the players currently ranking in the top 25 active players list and work from there. Subsequent articles will take a look at some of the movers and shakers who haven’t made their mark yet. For all of this, I have been asked to be as impartial as possible (good fething luck).

So the Top 25 active players list. As of the start of November, combined, the individuals on this list have earned 1427 Star Player points (that’s 24% of the 5989 SPP earned by all players in the league so far.

In addition to this, the positions break down as follows:

  • 9 Blitzer’s (36%)
  • 5 Catchers (20%)
  • 3 Werewolves (12%)
  • 2 Throwers (8%)
  • 2 Ghouls (8%)
  • 1 Gutter Runner (4%)
  • 1 Witch Elf (4%)
  • 1 Troll (4%)
  • 1 Wardancer (4%)

And the Teams they come from:

  • 5 from the Loren Rangers (20%)
  • 5 from the Karond Kar Corsairs (20%)
  • 4 from Ragnars Swift Velocity (16%)
  • 3 from the Beaumont Blitzers (12%)
  • 3 from the Innsmouth Shadows (12%)
  • 2 from the Mc Cauligh Reavers (8%)
  • 2 from the Drackwald Deadheads (8%)
  • 1 from the Tail Slammers (4%)

Lets start at the top and work our way down.

#1 – Fredrick Roeder (Catcher) Ragnars Swift Velocity

My old Pall Fredrick is the current top dog of the league. Until last season Fredrick had sat in the shadows but last seasons performance changed all that. Until recently he was constantly battling Crownstar for the number one slot but a bunch of Snotlings changed that. His performance this season has been a bit poor with only three Touchdowns in three games but I am sure he will up his game as the season goes on.

  • Won the Player of the Season and most Touchdowns awards in the 2508/09 Season
  • Holds the record for Most Touchdowns in a season with 21
  • Currently ranked as the second best player of all time
  • Fastest player to reach 100 SPP (in only 21 games)
  • Is ranked as the best human (any position) that the HDWSBBL has ever seen

#2 – Elesser Everlong (Catcher) The Loren Rangers

One of the “fabulous Everlong Brothers”. Until recently Elesser had been the second best Catcher for the Rangers but has recently begun competition with his own brother to be the new top scorer after the death of Crownstar. Personally, I hope he suffers the same fate.

  • Has won the most Touchdowns in a competition award once
  • Is the current (joint) best player of the season so far
  • Is the current Top Scorer for the Loren Rangers
  • Currently ranked as the third best player of all time.
  • Is ranked as the best Elf (any team or position) that is active in the HDWSBBL

#3 – Caneran Everlong (Catcher) The Loren Rangers

Caneran is the younger brother of Elesser and like his brother; he is attempting to become the top scorer for the Rangers. If experience has taught me nothing else, it is always the younger brother is the one to watch out for. They are often the ones who have been tormented their entire life and have everything to prove.

  • Winner of a Rat-Eater award for scoring a Touchdown, causing a Causality, making an accurate pass and catching an interception in a single season.
  • Is the current top scorer for the current season.
  • Currently ranked as the fourth best player of all time

#4 – Erison Youngwhite (Thrower) The Loren Rangers

For some reason Erison Youngwhite is someone that a lot of players look up to the league. Despite being a simple person, Youngwhite appears to have laser guided accuracy when it comes to throwing balls up and down the pitch. The Rangers claim that he has never missed a pass but I doubt that. I have seen a few of his passes fall to the floor but the blame is always given to the Catchers and not the num-nut who passed them the ball.

  • Erison is the best Thrower (any race) that the HDWSBBL has ever seen.
  • Erison has made 85 accurate passes in his career
  • Erison has set every passing record the league has ever seen apart from one (which is held by RSV, excellent)
  • Erison has won the thrower of the season award two times and the thrower of a competition award 6 times
  • Erison is on course to set new records for the number of completed passes in a competition and a season.
  • currently ranked as the fifth best player of all time

#5 – Lars Ulrichson (Catcher) Ragnars Swift Velocity

Lars was once one of the shining players in the league. In the early days he was the top scorer for RSV and took all the limelight. Since then his career has taken a back seat to Roeder and has only managed to score 3 touchdowns in his last 10 games. Hopefully my Godson (What, You didn’t know?) can find his form again soon and start reclaiming his rightful place at the top of the players lists.

  • Currently ranked as the sixth best player of all time
  • Was the first Human to reach 51 Star Player Points

#6 (joint) – Valdrek Bloodgate (Blitzer) Karond Kar Corsairs

Until the very end of last season, Bloodgate was relatively unknown. Intensive training during the season changed all that and he exploded onto the scene during the Championship III. Now, I will be the first person to admit that I hate elves but I have to hand it to Bloodgate, the guy is quickly becoming an all out legend here in the league. He appears to have some kind of precognition in that he appears to know where his opponent will strike, or where the ball will be as it is rare that his agility lets him down.

  • Won the best player and most Touchdowns award for the Championship III
  • Is the highest ranked Dark Elf in the league
  • Is the second highest ranked Blitzer (any race) in the leagues history
  • Currently ranked as the ninth best player of all time
  • Is the top scoring Dark Elf in he league, and top scorer for his team
  • Is the top passing and intercepting Elf in the league, and for his team

#6 (joint) – Takarath Balefire (Blitzer) Karond Kar Corsairs

Ahh, we reach Balefire. The very definition of a cold blooded killer. Balefire has the honour of being the leagues top killer having ended the careers of at least four players. During his debut season, Balefire quickly picked up a reputation of playing like a Daemon (It had something to so with decapitating a player with his bare hands). Since then there have been certain matches were he appears to be channelling some supernatural beast in order to perform the amazing acts of violence that he is known for (either that or he is more messed up then most people believe).

  • Currently ranked as he tenth best player of all time
  • Is the top killer of all time
  • Is the top causality causer for his team
  • Won the best player award for the Hunts Havoc 2508/09 setting a new record for SPP in a singe competition in the process.

#8 – Ashinan Wyrmbane (Blitzer) Karond Kar Corsairs

Wrymbane is the third Corsair Blitzer to make the top 25 players list. Like his team mates, he excels at all he puts his mind too. While he has slowly worked at his game, he is yet to make an impact like his two fellow Blitzer’s.

  • Currently ranked as the eleventh best player of all time

#9 – Benerditto Brin (Blitzer) Mc Cauligh Reavers

Brin rose to fame last season with his daring plays. Due to some miscalculations from the stats boffins at the HDWSBBL, his true place in the seasons standings were not discovered until once the season was complete. That mistake has only driven Brin to become an even better player.

  • Currently ranked as the twelfth best player of all time
  • Is the top scorer for his team
  • Was the top scorer for the Championship III

#10 (joint) – Elengad Greenstone (Catcher) The Loren Rangers

Greenstone is currently the Rangers Captain having served the team since its inception. Unlike the other catchers such as the Everlong brothers, Greenstone plays a more defensive role on the team and often ends up acting as a decoy while the other catchers run away with the ball. It’s a brave move making a catcher a Captain. The fortunately tend to have short careers.

  • Currently ranked as the fifteenth best player of all time

#10 (joint) – Arcani Spark (Gutter Runner) Tail Slammers

Arcani Spark is an oddity. Most Skaven (especially in the HDWSBBL) often have a very shot life span fitting for their filthy kind. Arcani has managed to buck this trend and actually make a name for himself. I once heard someone describe him as a furry turd on legs and I think that fits. Having seen him in action a few times, he does manage to evade his fate and appears to be one of the strongest Skaven I have seen in my life.

  • Currently ranked as the fifteenth best player of all time
  • Is the top scorer for his team

#12 – Bruce Cruel-Lobber (Ghoul) Drackwald Deadheads

A little Trivia for you here, did you know that I used to play on the same team as Bruce? Back when his skin had a little bit more colour in it we played on a combined “forces of good” team in a Dungeon Bowl Tournament. Unfortunately, I think that was the day he got hooked on magic and his path towards the undead started. That aside, Bruce is once of the more entertaining players in the league. Despite getting injured in his last game against the Shadows, Bruce should have a great season as always.

  • Currently ranked as the seventeenth best player of all time
  • Is the top scorer for his team
  • Winner of a Rat-Eater award for scoring a Touchdown, causing a Causality, making an accurate pass and catching an interception in a single season.

#13 – Eleeazar Smith (Werewolf) The Innsmouth Shadows

Unlike fellow Werewolf Erze, Eleeazer can almost be considered capable on the pitch! He can often be seen retrieving the ball like any well placed doggy and after several beatings, now knows to take it to the oppositions end to score. You have to watch out for Fleas though. I tried talking to him once and got infested. My poor little “assistants” spent ages scrubbing me down.

  • Currently ranked as the eighteenth best player of all time
  • Is the top scorer for his team
  • Is ranked as the top Werewolf in the leagues history

#14 – San Giorgio (Blitzer) Mc Cauligh Reavers

San Giorgio is quite an accomplished athlete. While his team mate Brin uses his agility to get him around the pitch, Giorgio uses raw strength and speed to get himself out of harms way.

  • Currently ranked as the twenty-first best player of all time

#15 (joint) – Kaminsky Mittbrott (Blitzer) Ragnars Swift Velocity

Current Captain of RSV, Mittbrott has a loyal group of supporters. At the start of his career he was better known for getting injured every match but in time he has found his form and leads RSV to great heights. He spends most of his games now nailing anybody who gets too close to either of the catchers, something they are thankful for.

  • Currently ranked as the twenty-second best player of all time
  • One of the top causality causers in the leagues history
  • Won the award for most causalities in he Zombway Cup 2508/09

#15 (joint) – Seravina Spite (Witch Elf) Karond Kar Corsairs

Seravina has a large male following in the league. Those skimpy “uniforms” she wears drives men wild. Take it from me though, it is not a good idea to try and spike her drink and take her back to yours. It took me days to escape from the chains she used to tie me up to the side of the pub. Anyway, on the pitch she lives up to her name and shows no mercy to anybody. While some of the other Witch Elves in the league have come and gone, she has remained to shove her 6 inch stilettos into the hearts of many men.

  • Currently ranked as the twenty-second best player of all time

#17 – Jargon ‘The Jawsplitter’ Juggernaught (Troll) Beaumont Blitzers

Trolls are well known for their incredible stupidity. While Jargon is no exception, the difference here is that Jargon has a strong team behind him who pushes him in the right direction. In his debut season he managed to break the record for most causalities in a single season and hopes to break the record (and many limbs) again this season.

  • Currently ranked as the twenty-fifth best player of all time
  • Is the current top casualty causer in the league (both active and of all time)
  • Is the top casualty causer for his team
  • Voted as “most likely to eat a team mate” by me

#18 – Cappella Goldfalcon (Wardancer) The Loren Rangers

Surprisingly, Goldfalcon is the only Wardancer in the top 25 players list! Goldfalcon is well known to cause chaos on the pitch. Just when you think the ball has been secured in a nice cage, along comes Goldfalcon to break it open. Hopefully one day, someone will catch him as he leaps about and break his bloody neck.

  • Scored the most Touchdowns in the Championship II
  • Is the highest ranked Wardancer on the list

#19 – Dirk Hammett (Blitzer) Ragnars Swift Velocity

Dirk is a quiet player. Rather then gloat and participate in team interviews, Dirk prefers to let his actions on the pitch do the talking. Over the course of his career Dirk has perfected a powerful killing blow which ahs ended the career of a few players.

  • One of the highest causality causers in the leagues history

#20 – Shunt (Blitzer) Beaumont Blitzers

Shunt lives up to his name and can normally be seen charging down the pitch. When the Blitzer’s are playing you have to watch out for their little Goblin and this Orc because one of them will grab the ball. Unlike the rest of his team, Shunt gets his pleasure from scoring rather then stomping on people (although he assures us that he still enjoys that too).

  • Is the top scoring Orc for his team
  • Is currently ranked as the top Orc in the leagues history
  • Scored the most Touchdowns in the Ankle Biter competition

#21 (joint) – Varkon Darkblade (Blitzer) Karond Kar Corsairs

The fourth of the Corsairs Blitzers to make the list. While not as revered as his team mates, Darkblade is still as ruthless as any other Dark Elf should be. I am sure in time he will improve his already impressive game and move further up the list.

#21 (joint) – Erza Wheedon (Werewolf) The Innsmouth Shadows

Erza “cannot pick up the ball or do anything right” Wheedon is well known to most readers of my soapbox. Erza is well known to panic when put under pressure and his fumbles are things of legend around here. However the very fact that he is in the top 25 players list shows that when the time is right he is capable of being a good doggy and following orders. The Shadows current plan of starving him until he does something worthwhile appears to be working although the number of fans reporting bite injuries is on the increase.

  • Voted “most likely to be strangled by his own coach” by me!

#21 (joint) – Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba (Thrower) Beaumont Blitzers

Possibly the strongest Thrower in the leagues history, Chuck caused uproar last season when he picked up the award for most completions in a season, ending Youngwhites run as the top thrower of the league. This season he is yet to find his form and even had to be saved from death by an apothecary. Hopefully this young Orc will regain his form and upset the Rangers some more.

  • Won the thrower of season award in the 2508/09 season, breaking Erison Youngwhites streak

#24 – Simon Orne (Ghoul) The Innsmouth Shadows

Over his career, Simon has shown some streaks of brilliance. Simon acts as one of the teams receivers who secures the ball on the many times that they get the ball kicked to them. Occasionally he finds himself at the other end of the pitch and has been known to score a Touchdown or two. The main problem he faces is that there is nobody on the Shadows who is capable of passing the ball to him!

  • Scored the most Touchdowns in the Ankle Biter competition last season

#25 – Ian Crush (Werewolf) Drackwald Deadheads

At the very bottom, Ian Crush is in danger of slipping out of the top players chart. This super strong Werewolf has other plans however and is tearing his way through the competition. Hopefully he will find the form to keep him at the top.


Phew, my little statistic interns are all worn out after that one! In summary, there are too many damm Elves on that list. I hope that some of the other races begin dominating soon and restore some pride to the league.

I will be back soon with a look at some of the other players of note in the league.


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