Gerhards Soapbox – Slammer Shield Predictions

After a bit of an extended break, I have been summoned to provide my predictions for the Slammer Shield.

From the moment of its announcement last season, I have not hidden the fact that I believe that the Shield is a glorified loser cup. The teams who have sucked all season get one last chance to gain some glory and hope to go onto better things. However this year, I am surprised at some of the entries in the Slammer Shield so I might actually sit and watch some of the games.

The first round has now been drawn and the matches are due to take place tomorrow. Here are my predictions:

Grappler Flesh Grinders vs The Tutsbone Jackles
Originally I picked the Flash Ones as one of the stronger teams of the Season. I was gutted when those blasted Predators knocked them out of the qualification position for the Championship IV. Their opponents are the always suffering Jackles. I don’t know what it is about Khemri teams in the HDWSBBL but they just cannot appear to get a break anywhere.

Recently the Jackles finally picked up their fist win against the Slammers so it shows they do have potential. However I think the Grinders are a much more developed team and will win this match, and go on and reach the finals.

Tail Slammers vs The Innsmouth Shadows
Seeing as this Competition is named after them, I am not surprised to see the Tail Slammers once again fighting for the Shield. I must admit, for a time earlier in the season, they did have me worried that they would actually qualify for the Championship but fortunately their luck returned to normal and they have been dropping like flys (Including Danger Mouse who finally met a Big Guy who wouldn’t go down).

Their Opponents are the Shadows. The Shadows are so full of potential and recently have been turning things around. While this occurred too late in the season for them to qualify for the Championship IV, they still have a chance here and in the Pepslay Challenge. Seeing as this will be the fourth encounter between the two teams, I am picking the Shadows to demolish the filthy furry turds and hopefully there werewolves will pick up a few more fatalities.

The Man Eaters vs Orcland Cleavers
After last season’s performance, we know the Man Eaters have much potential. However this season they could not pull it together in the same way and find themselves here.

The Cleavers are a lot like the Shadows, they have been improving recently but suffered early on. I enjoy watching the Cleavers as they are a proper Orc Team. I think the Cleavers should take the win here although their inexperience against Ogres could cost them.

We Tree Fellows vs Beaumont Blitzers
Once again, the rivalry between the Blitzers and WTF is set to continue. Considering that both the teams call the same stadium home, we should have a full house full of pansy Elves and uncontrollable Orcs.

The Blitzers are still bitter about the Bloodgate award as they feel that their Blitzer Shunt should get the honours. However Shunt never got the MVP so he can clear off and earn his honours properly. The Blitzers are also the defending champions this season having won the Ankle Biter last season. Many had hoped that they would go on to greater things but they appear satisfied to be here once again.

WTF have become quite a spectacle to watch. With a constantly revolving roster, they have evolved into one of the finest passing teams the league has ever seen (In your face Rangers). The effort they put in to make that ball fly through the air is amazing. If only they put a fraction of that effort into scoring then they might actually win a game or two!

With these two teams, we are sure to see the ball in the air a lot! However, the game is won down on the ground and I know the Blitzers are getting ready to demolish WTF once and for all. My pick goes to the Blitzers, assuming they can rip the arms off the Elf Throwers.

So, that’s the first round covered; now I have to pick and overall winner! Seeing as my two picks (the Shadows and the Grinders) may well end up facing each other in the Semi-Finals, I am kind of stumped. I think the Blitzers will tear their way through the lower branches of the Tournament and reach the final. After a bit of debate with my interns (one of which stupidly picked the Slammers) I have decided on the following:

Winner: Grinders
Runner Up: Beaumont Blitzers

Let’s see how that goes. One thing is for sure, I hope that at the end of next week, there are a lot less living Skaven and Elves running around (and if not, the three Orc teams in the competition should be ashamed of themselves).

Tune in at some point next week as I will be covering the Championship IV.



  1. I truly hope that someone cripples WTF’s throwers. I’m sick to death of them boasting about how great a passing team they are. To lay down the facts we have triple the amount of completions and Youngwhite has completed over a hundred passes. To be a great passing team it also included winning the matches and actually making sensible ones rather than passes it back and forth in your own bloody half. And Gerhard, you should know better!

  2. “I am picking the Shadows to demolish the filthy furry turds and hopefully there werewolves will pick up a few more fatalities.” – Gerhard

    Oh hell. Now you’ve gone and jinxed it.

    1. There is no pleasing some people! If I badmouth the team you complain and then if I give you priase you moan!

      No wonder you Necromancers live by yourself because you are never bloody happy:-D

      Don’t worry, you don’t need luck to defeat the Slammers. Just a big stick and some disinfectant (if you undead guys can catch diseases anyway!).

  3. well we got a promising rat ogre scouted for that match, maybe that will help us turn the tide of this match tommorow.

    Gerhard hopfully we will make you eat your words and go on grinders kill those kemri scum.

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