Shortly after the news broke earlier today about the Beaumont Blizers being one of the teams leaving us this season, the team issued a surprise Press release / Interview with their long time interviewer Jim Johnson which is presented below in its un-editied glory:
Bye Bye Beaumont Blizers
Welcome to Slaughter, Kill, Yes! Sportz, I’m Jim Johnson
Its a sad day for all orc fans, as the Beaumont Blitzers have decided to take some time out of the game to pursue a personal dream! They brought us carnage, killing, maiming, fouling, hacking, slashing and generally beating the living snot out of anything that didnt arrive with them for a match!
Reports just in, one of their former players Mega-Hurtz has just announced that he will be opening a new cart rental service, Aptly named Hurtz. All of his team-mates have been pitching in to get the business off the ground. Until Jawsplitter was asked to put it back down.
When asked are you likely to return to the game, Mega-Hurtz smiled and told us we would need to speak to Rip, his former coach.
So if your in need of some wheels, even if they are round ones, come down to Hurtz’s today and hire a cart to get you there in style! Nothing says different, than square wheels!
Oh, i have just been handed this, one of our reporters out in the field has just caught up with Rip, over to you Bob.
Bob “So Rip, your team is out of the HDWSBBL, your out of a job and the orc fans are going out of their mind and likely to be out for more blood than usual as your not enertaining them now!”
Rip “We’z mite be’z out da HDWSBBL But’z we’z aint gone fa gud! If you’z iz watchin dis, We’z will be back for all of you’z!!!”
Bob “Thanks for your time Rip, Threatening words from the former coach, Bob Bifford, Slaughter, Kill, Yes! Sportz, back to you in the studio Jim”
Well there you have it folks, probably the scariest orc team out of the HDWSBBL, I am wondering who we will see in the up and coming weeks gracing our screens. I am also a little concerned that the Kill-o-meter that we have had running since the Blitzers first arrived, now might be rendered obsolete. In saying that I hear that the Shadows, Rangers and there are rumors that the Manhunters are returning this year, maybe it will get some use!
Tune in next weeks folks when we will interviewing some of the new talent coming through for this year, we will also be trying to speak to some of the returning coaches!
I’ve been Jim Johnson, Slaughter, Kill, Yes! Sportz