We are finally here at the start of the 2510/11 Season. I would say I am pleased to see so many familiar faces return but I can only stand two of them!
The draw and fixtures have been announced for this seasons competition so I imagine all the teams are lined up for the killing and winning that will occur over the next few weeks. We have three new races that we have not seen before in the HDWSBBL (Chaos Pact, Slann and *sniggers* Halflings).
With only one game against each opponent, we could be looking at a much smaller competition then some of the fans are used to. Hopefully the level of violence that we have come to expect will still be present.
At a first glance of the draw, it is a similar set up to last season. North Division contains the bulk of the returning teams and South Division is full of fresh faced hopefuls (and again, the Loren Rangers! I don’t know who they are sleeping with around here to get put in with all the new teams every season; I didn’t think we had any Gay Elves in the office around here – actually, are there any straight ones?).
I think the best way of doing this is to take a look at the Divisions and give my insightful observations.
The first this that jumps out of me is the paring of the Tail Slammers, the Innsmouth Shadows and the not-really-pro Elves again. I have a suspicion that this paring will have a further impact on the fragile mental state of poor JoJo (well, that and he is a necromantic who spent many years as a corpse). Hopefully his boys will put the other two in their place.
Two of the South Division rookies from last season have made the switch to North, the Cleavers (who are fighting for honour now) and the little dinos. I (really) hate to admit it but the Dinos are in a strong position and could be successful (unless I get to another one of their training sessions with my trusty musket).
The final two teams in North are the new Humans on the block, the Brewers, and Halflings. Someone is going to have a fun time tearing these apart. I will make sure I get my popcorn out.
So the Manhunters and the Rangers are back together? I do believe that a match between them will be the first time they have played each other since the very first season of the HDWSBBL! The Jackels are also back; hopefully they will finally find their form against the Manhunters and rip them apart. I am looking forward to seeing some Tomb Guardians at some point this season.
The other four teams are all new to me, we have some deranged thugs (with some VERY big friends), some grumpy Dwarves (are there any other type), some alien frogs and yet another Dark Elf team (wooo). I honestly have no idea how they will perform although we all know how destructive Dwarfs can be (I personally believe it is due to the fact that the only people who want to mate with them are Dwarf women, who have beards…shudder. That would make me want to break stuff). These unknown factors make it hard for me to make an informed decision but that hasn’t stopped me before!
For this competition, the league has asked me to predict the final positions for all 14 teams! Never one to shy away from a challenge (unless it involves talking to Elves, Skaven, Lizardmen, Dwarves or the Manhunters) I will give it a shot. For North, I think a lot of it will depend on the opening game between the Shadow and the little dinos. I feel the winner of that match will take North! Come on Shadows! South is a little bit more open, I hate the fact that the Rangers will walk it although I do keep hearing wonderful things about the Slann. A very small part of me does want the Rangers to get to the top, only so they can enter the Championship V, win that and then finally fuck off for good. However we all know they would be back next season gloating (“look at us, we have won all three cups, aren’t we great elves”. “Watch our rubbish dance”, ”better then Velocity ever did” etc).
Anyway, here we go:
Winner: Innsmouth Shadows
Runner-Up: Little Dinos
3rd: Dirty Rats
5th: not-really-pro Elves
6th: Squishy tribal people / Some Orcs lunch
Winner: The Bloody Rangers
Runner-Up: Alien frogs
3rd: Angry Dwarfs
4th: The new Dark Elves
5th: Damage Inc
Overall winner of the league cup: The Rangers!
I feel dirty now. Where is my maiden to wash me…