Gerhard: a look a the top 25 players – Start of 2510/11 Season

Greetings my loyal minions, last season I did an overview of the top 25 players of the league. It went down quite well so I have been asked to take a look at the current top 25 players now that a few of the teams occupying the list from last time have gone. I am doing this investigation now but also plan on doing it midway through the season (even though the thought of looking at lists of Elves and Skaven makes me sick!).

As with last time, I will start with some stats. All figures and comments are based on the standings after only one game of the 2510/11 Season of the HDWSBBL.

Combined, the top 25 players account for 1455 of the 8216 Star Player Points in the Leagues history (that’s 17.7% – down from the 24% last time). The positions break down as follows:

  • 5 Blitzers (20%) – 4 less then last time (was 36%)
  • 4 Catchers (16%) – 1 less then last time (was 20%)
  • 4 Throwers (16%) – 2 more then last time (was 8%)
  • 3 Gutter Runners (12%) – Up 2 from last time (was 4%)
  • 2 Lineselves (8%) – new entry
  • 2 Skinks (8%) – new entry
  • 2 Werewolves (8%) – 1 less from last time (was 12%)
  • 1 Ghoul (4%) – 1 less then last time (was 8%)
  • 1 Wardancer (4%) – same as last time
  • 1 Zombie (4%) – new entry

The only position missing this time that was present last time was Witch Elves! In terms of the teams that the players come from:

  • 7 from The Loren Rangers (28%) – 1 more then last time (was 20%)
  • 4 from the Middenhein Manhunters (16%) – new entry
  • 4 from the Tail Slammers (16%) – 3 more then last time (was 4%)
  • 4 from The Innsmouth Shadows (16%) – 1 more then last time (was 12%)
  • 2 from the Orcland Cleavers (8%) – new entry
  • 2 from the Teotigua Predators (8%) – new entry
  • 2 from the We Tree Fellows (8%) – new entry

The following teams are no longer represented (because they have retired, stupid): Karond Kar Corsairs, Ragnars Swift Velocity, Beaumont Blitzers, Mc Cauligh Reavers and the Drackwald Deadheads

That’s the number crunching out the way, lets get on with it:

#1 – Caneran Everlong (Catcher (Legacy)) – The Loren Rangers

I was correct! Last time we recapped the top players Caneran was behind his brother in the standings. I commented that it is often the younger brother who you have to watch out for. Despite being a stinking Elf, he proves that Gerhard is always right! It’s a shame he took over the top spot from Roeder from RSV. Hopefully he will suffer the same fate as Crownstar from last season, a humiliating death.

  • Was number three last time behind his brother Elesser Everlong
  • Currently ranked as the top player of all time in the HDWSBBL!
  • Is ranked as the best Elf (any team or position) that is active in the HDWSBBL
  • Is the current top scorer for the Loren Rangers
  • Responsible for scoring the 1000th Touchdown in HDWSBBL history
  • Currently holds the records for most Touchdowns scored in a competition and in a Season
  • Currently the top active scorer in the HDWSBBL (second of all time)
  • Currently holds the record for most Star Player Points earned in a season

#2 – Elesser Everlong (Catcher (Legacy)) – The Loren Rangers

Elesser is the other half of the dynamic duo of the Rangers. I hear there is some friction between the two brothers once Caneran began to outscore his older brother. Maybe the older bother will put the younger one out of his misery to reclaim the top spot? I do love a bit of sibling rivalry.

  • Was number two last time ahead of his brother Caneran Everlong
  • Currently ranked as the third best player of all time

#3 – Erison Youngwhite (Thrower) – The Loren Rangers

The Elf with laser sights for his eyes has moved up a few positions since last time. I must admit I was impressed when he managed to out throw most of the other teams last season, never mind break his own record for most Completions in a season. Yes, the Wee Tree Fellows might be able to throw the ball around more often, but Youngwhite manages to get the ball where it is needed. I almost have respect for the new Captain of the Rangers!

  • Was ranked as number 4 last time
  • Currently ranked as the fourth best player of all time
  • Currently ranked as the best Thrower (any Race) that the league has ever seen (active or former).
  • Holds the current record for most Completions in a season.

#4 – Arcani Spark (Gutter Runner) – Tail Slammers

Despite my best efforts to have him killed, the “fury turd on legs” is still alive and kicking. If he manages to retire with his legs intact we will one day make a great attraction at a freak show, what with all that leaping about he does. Come on someone, end his miserable life.

  • Was ranked as number 10 (joint) last time
  • Currently ranked as the ninth best player of all time
  • Currently ranked as the highest Skaven (any Position) in the leagues history.

#5 – Lobsang Ludd (Thrower) – Middenhein Manhunters

The first Human in the list and also the Captain of the Manhunters! Ludd was once known as the best thrower in the league. Things have moved on since then and he has a lot of ground to catch up on to reclaim his former title. He once managed to kill a Wardancer who tried to take the ball of him. I like his style (although I still dislike the Manhunters).

  • Currently ranked as the best active human in the league (3rd of all time)
  • Currently ranked as the eleventh best player of all time
  • Currently ranked as the second best thrower in HDWSBBL history

#6 – Moist Von Lipwig (Blitzer) – Middenhein Manhunters

It feels like just yesterday that I was scouting Moist for a position on RSV. He eventually turned it down to join the Manhunters (idiot). He is one of the shining starts of the team and was the best player of the 2506/07 Season so he is certainly one to watch out for. Although he has aged a bit since then I hear he can still pack a good solid punch. He is one of my picks to be the star of the season.

  • Currently ranked as the best Blitzer (any race) of all time
  • Currently ranked as the twelfth best player of all time
  • Holds the record for most Touchdowns scored in a single match with 4!

(joint) #6 – Eleeazar Smith (Werewolf) – The Innsmouth Shadows

A good doggie. Eleeezar is one of the top killers of the league having maimed multiple players over the last two seasons. Winning the Finger of death award has not gone to his head although I hear he was slightly confused when the life sized statue was delivered to him in Insmouth. It’s a great story but I cannot due it Justice. JoJo delivers it much better then me.

  • Was ranked as number 13 last time
  • Currently ranked as the twelfth best player of all time
  • Currently the most violent player in HDWSBBL history (all time and active)
  • Currently ranked as the most deadly active player in the league (joint second of all time)

#8 – Cappella Goldfalcon (Wardancer) – The Loren Rangers

Shock horror, another Elf. “Mr” Goldfalcon has been there since day one of the Rangers and witnessed many of his team mates being slaughtered. Fun fact, it was Goldfalcon who chased me away one night when he found me pissing on the grave of Crownstar! Looking back he may not have been chasing me away with all the dancing, he might have actually been hitting on me. Who knows how the minds of the Elves work…

  • Was ranked as number 18 last time, that is some leap (excuse the pun)
  • Currently ranked as the fourteenth best player of all time

(joint) #8 – Erza Wheedon (Werewolf) – The Innsmouth Shadows

The former fuck-tard himself has improved his game since I last reported on him. I guess JoJo’s strategy of starving him until he became useful actually paid off! Tail Slammers take note, simply starve your team. Hopefully you will forget to ever give them food again…

  • Was ranked as number 21 last time
  • Currently ranked as the fourteenth best player of all time

#10 – Elengad Greenstone (Catcher (Legacy)) – The Loren Rangers

Ok, I am bored with Elves now. Greenstone is obviously a good player (as he is in the top 10) but I guess he is always outshone by the Everlong Brothers (and before that, Crownstar). Now he has stepped down from being the Captain he can focus on getting his name up there in lights. Breaking into the top 10 was a good first step.

  • Was ranked as number 10 (joint) last time
  • Currently ranked as the seventeenth best player of all time

#11 – Simon Orne (Ghoul) – The Innsmouth Shadows

Bloody hell these Shadows have improved. Simon has moved up in the rankings from #24 to #11 since last time, very impressive. Last time we took a look at him he was having trouble being a great catcher on a team with no thrower. Things have not improved too much but he has improved his running game.

  • Was ranked as number 24 last time
  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#12 – Hamish ‘The Hammer’ (Thrower) – We Tree Fellows

Hamish began making a name for himself last season when he appeared to make it his goal to become the best thrower in the league. Although he still pales in comparison to the likes of Youngwhite or Ludd I imagine we will be hearing more of this Elf, especially as he is one of the biggest targets in North Division this season!

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list
  • Currently ranked as the third best thrower in HDWSBBL history
  • Currently holds the record for most completions in a single match with 8!

#13 – Nurglost the Expectorus (Gutter Runner) – Tail Slammers

Great, a second Gutter runner! Nurglost is a more recent addition to the team having joined the team after they received a well earned kicking. Since then he has been the bane of many players in the league although he is overshadowed by his fellow Gutter Runner Arcani Spark.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#14 – Rulg Ear-Hacker (Thrower) – Orcland Cleavers

Ear-Hacker is one of the break-out stars of the league. Being the highest placed Orc on the list (and in fact, the only Orc to ever make it this high) makes him something special. Around these parts, Orc Throwers are always notorious blending the aggression of an Orc with the agility of something better. Ear-Hacker is responsible for most of the Touchdowns that the Cleavers score. I imagine his performances will be key this season in getting the Cleavers (back?) into their winning ways.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list
  • Currently ranked as the second best Orc Thrower of all time

#15 – Gariad (Blitzer) – Tail Slammers

There is something Ironic about the words Skaven and Blitzer in the same sentence. Away from the Blood Bowl pitch a Halfling with a piece of crap on a twig has more chance of inciting fear into the heart of men then a furry rat but on the pitch Gariad is a well known pain inflictor! Maybe that’s their secret, people underestimate them?

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list
  • Currently ranked as the most violent Skaven of all time

#16 – Horbag Talon-Gut (Blitzer) – Orcland Cleavers

I love the names of these Orcs. If you don’t cough up flem while pronouncing their names then you are doing it wrong! Horbag *spit* is just what an Orc should be, aggressive, mean and on the right side of stupid. He excels at punching through cages and likes nothing better to crush a few skulls before he gets out of bed in the morning (I hear he keeps them in his bedside draw).

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

(joint) #16 – Bat Rat (Gutter Runner) – Tail Slammers

What, a fourth Skaven! Are they breading like rats or something (don’t answer that, silly question). This is the one with the theme tune isn’t it? I thought we got rid of musical rats when Spider-rat was crushed to death. There is only one song I want to hear when I think about Skaven and that is the funeral march.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#18 – Carter (Zombie) – The Innsmouth Shadows

Seriously, a Zombie? I know we are at the start of the season but this is the best the league can come up with? At least he / it is above all the Predator players. I don’t really know what to say about this one! Brains…?

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

(joint) #18 – Dec (Catcher) We Tree Fellows

Under normal circumstances being a catcher on an Elf team would make him an instant star. However as he has to carry the useless bunch of Elves calling themselves the Wee Tree Fellows around with him he is often hindered. He has upped his game though since his fellow Catcher was killed last season. I guess he runs so fast because he does not want to end up as another pile of mangled flesh and bones.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#20 – Sean Ogg (Blitzer) – Middenhein Manhunters

One of the more experienced players in the league is Sean Ogg. He has been around with the Manhunters since their inception. I must admit I was surprised to see his name on the roster when they announced their return as he suffered a rather serious leg injury a few season back and I imagined that we would have retired. He is either really brave or really stupid (and knowing the Manhunters I chose…).

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#21 – Sam Vimes (Blitzer) – Middenhein Manhunters

Vimes is the Blitzer who thinks he is a catcher. Never before have I seen a Human Blitzer run around as much as him. He really should learn to let the catchers do their job. Regardless he is the second best Touchdown scorer on the Manhunters and critical to their success. It would be a shame if something would happen to him.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

(joint) #21 – Jardell Slivering (Lineself) – The Loren Rangers

Silvering is the first of two Line Elfs on the list. I have gone over the stats and there is nothing particular that makes these guys stand out. I guess that they are on the list simply because they have been around long enough to simply be better then the rest by default. I am sure some Elf Fan will jump on here and correct me.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#23 – Kimo (Skink) – Teotigua Predators

I’m gonna get you little Skinks one of these days. I cannot remember if this is the one with that can move quicker then the others, or the one that likes to take on bigger opponents (which is most of the league). All these little Lizards make my head spin. Either way, they have a short life expectancy so he won’t be here next time.

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

(joint) #23 – Rikku (Skink) – Teotigua Predators

It’s like a two for one deal here! The name Rikku rings a bell here, I have possibly admired him at some point or something (don’t panic, it is for the lovely colour of his skin, it will make a fine pair of boots). If I knew more about these Skinks I could comment on their personalities but I hear they are not great talkers and just spit out their tongues at you (kind of like my ex wife “buh-dum”).

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

#25 – Hesley White (Lineself) – The Loren Rangers

Rounding up the top 25 is a simple Lineself. Hesley has managed to beat the odds and has now been Part of the Rangers for some time. Hanging in the number 25 slot makes him the number 1 contender for leaving the list. If he can get his game together then he has a chance of moving higher up the list before an up and coming player takes the glory away from him

  • Not yet ranked on the top players of all time list

Worn out now, going to have a beer! Feel free to mention me on your team sites!

I will recap on the list in a few months time to see how the players are progressing. Hopefully less Skaven and Elves.


One comment

  1. Yeah, to be honest, Carter’s success is a bit of a mystery to us as well. Frankly, my money’s on bribery.
    But that raises yet further questions of where a Zombie would get money from.

    Sure, it makes sense NOW, what with him having Block, Tackle and Dauntless, but 5 MVPs? Something strange is going on there.

    Loved the lowdown on Eleazar Smith tho’.

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