So once again, the team behind generating the summaries has gone AWOL so they have drafted me into try and summarise the last few weeks of action! Nothing like a challenge gets me going in the morning.
I am not going to bother looking at the games one by one as I simply don’t have that much free time (or interest in some of the games). Instead as the teams should in theory be half way through the Open Scramble Competition I will take a look at how they are progressing since the last summery way back in Week 1. In alphabetical order:
The Flayers have been a fairly impressive team since the last summery. They have picked up two wins against the Jackles and the Manhunters. I hear that some people out there are already comparing these Dark Elves to the Corsairs. Please bear in mind that the two teams that they have beaten recently have not been the best the league can offer and they did struggle with a “real” team like the Rangers. They have just hired a new Witch Elf though; I might have to check her out…
This team is quickly irritating me. With so much hitting force on their side they should be dominating all (although it that was true, Ogre teams would be the most powerful teams in the league!). They lost to the Manhunters in a game that saw Damage Inc score their only Touchdown this season and then lost to the Leapers in a game that saw one of the worst runs of luck for the two participating teams since the infamous game between the Corsairs and the Reavers which saw both teams get confused on the pitch due to the matching uniforms! I hope they get better soon, I love the thought of a Troll, Minotaur and an Ogre rampaging through the Rangers in just a few weeks time.
Apart from a brief appearance that saw them lose to the Leapers, the Gemcutters have not been seen! Maybe they have returned to their underground home to plot and write some angry words in their book of grudges. Considering the length of the names of the Leapers players, they could be there for some time!
The Space frogs have come on a lot since their Debut. They managed to take down the Angry Dwarves and jump all over Damage Inc (which depending on the Chaos Pacts next few games could be the norm and not an impressive feat). It looks like the unpronounceable players have finally found their stride in the league and could soon be leaping up the standings in South Division. I love puns.
So the Manhunters finally reach 30 games eh? Apart from that brief moment of happiness from the team, they look to be back to their old form. Its moments like this that I am glad that RSV decided to disband for now as it saddens me when once great teams (obviously not talking about the Manhunters here) ruin their legacy by a piss poor run when they should have retired years ago. A loss to the Flayers and a Draw with the Jackles is inexcusable for a team of their status, even if Nuffle is against them. At least I get some enjoyment from winding up their cross dressing head coach!
The fearsome Cleavers have been plodding through the league. They managed to force a draw with the Tail Slammers (when did that become an accomplishment instead of an embarrassment?) and lose to the Brewers. In their defence they claim the Brewers kind offer of free beer poisoned them. If there is a lesson to be learnt here it is that Blood Bowl teams or fans should NEVER accept free drinks from the opposition.
*sigh*. I miss the times when the Tail Slammers where the punch bags of the league instead of the potentially title winning team we have before us. The team has unfortunately shown improvement in all areas (except their spelling). They are yet to face one of the bigger teams of North Division though (such as the Shadows or Predators) and instead have drawn with the Cleavers and defeated the poor Brewers. Hopefully they will have a few less players by the time I am forced to watch one of their games.
If you have been reading all the entries so far then you will have seen me call the Predators one of the bigger teams of the league! Don’t worry; I have not gone soft in the head. These little dinos are still one of my favourite whipping “boys”. They have only seen action once in a game that saw them roob the Shadows of victory. The shadows have a point that Terradons should not be allowed to pluck players from the pitch. I feel a hunting trip coming on.
In fact, I have an idea, instead of paying 150k for a subpar Wizard to turn up and throw around a fireball or two at the Dinos, give me the cash and I will turn up with my musket! I will be more then happy to fire off a shot or two at the little Dinos (OK, I would do it for free but I have to maintain my lavish lifestyle somehow).
The publicity boys have had a bumpy start. Since the last summery they have lost to the Tail Slammers and caused an upset by defeating the Cleavers. I must be honest; I had this team pegged for zero points this season. I am never confident when amateur teams turn pro for the sake of money, it always ends with lots of blood and broken bones. To their credit though their catchers have been training hard and are starting to develop into real players. Now, if only they can remember to bring their team sheet to their games and remember that Linesmen cannot train to become Catchers no matter how hard they try…
The Innsmouth Shadows
JoJo and the boys are on fighting form. Be it on the pitch defeating the Brewers and losing to the Predators, to the near constant verbal diarrhea that JoJo suffers from over on their team site (which is a good thing imho), the team is always interesting to watch. Their doggies are making good progress tearing up the league (when they are not being abducted by great beast or having major surgery performed by the crowd) and it looks like all their players are giving it their all to make this a memorable Season for the Shadows. The Shadows even managed to catch the only Interception of the season (by a Ghoul no less).
That brings us nicely to the question on everyone’s lips, just how can a Zombie out perform every member of the team if not league? I have seen Carter “play” and he is not exciting enough to justify that many MVP awards. If only we knew the sadistic bunch who awarded the MVP awards for every match.
And yes, I did return the doggies arms. It’s a shame, I was hoping to put them on my mantle.
The Loren Rangers
It appears to be business as usual for the Rangers. They have not played too many games yet but they are getting the points needed. While it looks like some of the teams have adapted to them and their win margin isn’t as great as it used to be, they are still on target to win the Division. They did lose one of their long standing players against the Jackles though. He suffered the best fate an Elf has suffered in a long time, he broke is own neck while showing off his fancy moves!
The Tutsbone Jackles
I think it is fair to say that the Jackles are having the best season of their (un)life! Despite losing to games and only drawing one the Jackles are in the highest position they have ever been in. I am sure that if blood flowed through their long rotted away veins, their noses would be bleeding from the height. They only have two games left in the Open Scramble against the Angry Dwarves and Damage Inc so who knows, they might actually qualify for the Championship V (hey, stranger things have happened, look at the Tail Slammers, nobody ever predicted that they would win a match!).
We Tree Fellows and Wherethehellarewe Tribe
They have not played any “recognised” games since the last summery. I am not touching that one with a barge pole (or Ezra’s arms before I had to return them)!
You will shortly be presented with the current league standings. I have been warned not to touch or modify them this time around (as if I would, a Zombie as one of the best players needs to be remembered for all time). Until next time we cross paths (which in the case of the little dinos could be very soon), take care out there. With all my love
Quick Summary of Weeks 2 through 7
- 5 games in North Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 7 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 33 Touchdowns scored
- 33 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
- 32 Completions made
- 1 Interception made
- 35,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Weeks 2 through 7
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
Open Scramble 2510/11 – North Division
- Tail Slammers 1 (3) – 1 (3) Orcland Cleavers (att 35,000)
- TS: Bat Rat
- Cleav: Eruug Rot-Chewer
- Tail Slammers 2 (1) – 1 (0) The Brewers (att 26,000)
- TS: Bat Rat, Invisible Rat
- brew: Jorgan Heineken
- The Innsmouth Shadows 1 (1) – 2 (2) Teotigua Predators (att 34,000)
- TIS: Wilber
- TEO: Kimo, Mikala
- Orcland Cleavers 0 (1) – 2 (0) The Brewers (att 24,000)
- brew: Grolsch von Lager (x2)
- The Brewers 1 (1) – 3 (3) The Innsmouth Shadows (att 26,000)
- TIS: Erza Wheedon, Eleeazar Smith, Simon Orne
- brew: Grolsch von Lager
Open Scramble 2510/11 – South Division
- The Loren Rangers 2 (2) – 0 (0) The Tutsbone Jackles (att 30,000)
- LR: Elesser Everlong (x2)
- Middenhein Manhunters 2 (2) – 1 (1) Damage Inc (att 18,000)
- MM: Reg Shoe (x2)
- Dam: Bomar
- The Tutsbone Jackles 1 (1) – 1 (2) Middenhein Manhunters (att 28,000)
- MM: Reg Shoe
- JACK: Me Uptai
- Damage Inc 0 (0) – 3 (0) Lustria Leapers (att 20,000)
- LL: Huitzilopochtli, Quetzalcoatl (x2)
- Brimstone Flayers 3 (1) – 0 (2) Middenhein Manhunters (att 28,000)
- BF: Althor Darkheart (x2), Incltil Fellheart
- Brimstone Flayers 2 (2) – 1 (2) The Tutsbone Jackles (att 23,000)
- JACK: Mehutu Se
- BF: Argthar Ashheart, Aedir Blisteredheart
- Grunhelm Gemcutters 1 (3) – 2 (0) Lustria Leapers (att 16,000)
- LL: Huitzilopochtli, Ehecatl
- GG: Lordrun Screeslider
Obituaries for Weeks 2 through 7
- Kan-u-uayeyab (Linefrog for Lustria Leapers):
- Battered by a hairy midget.
- Cappella Goldfalcon (Wardancer for The Loren Rangers): Killed himself while attempting to dodge out of a Khemri cage!
League Standings for the Open Scramble 2510/11 (Week 7)
|The Innsmouth Shadows||3||2||0||1||6||4||2||8||3||5||6|
|We Tree Fellows||1||0||0||1||1||2||-1||0||4||-4||0|
|The Loren Rangers||2||2||0||0||5||2||3||5||0||5||6|
|The Tutsbone Jackles||4||1||1||2||4||5||-1||7||6||1||4|
Player Statistics for the Open Scramble 2510/11 (Week 2)
|2||Carter||Zombie||The Innsmouth Shadows||12|
|–||Hans Kineitz||Blitzer||The Brewers||12|
|4||Bat Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||11|
|–||Me Uptai||Thro-Ra||The Tutsbone Jackles||11|
|–||Glog Gut-Rott||Black Orc Blocker||Orcland Cleavers||11|
|–||Rientil Gloomheart||Linesman||Brimstone Flayers||11|
|8||Erza Wheedon||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||10|
|–||Eleeazar Smith||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||10|
|–||Simon Orne||Ghoul||The Innsmouth Shadows||10|
|1||Bat Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||3|
|–||Invisible Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||3|
|–||Reg Shoe||Catcher||Middenhein Manhunters||3|
|–||Grolsch von Lager||Catcher||The Brewers||3|
|–||Murin Quicksilver||Runner||Grunhelm Gemcutters||2|
|–||Erza Wheedon||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||2|
|–||Simon Orne||Ghoul||The Innsmouth Shadows||2|
|–||Me Uptai||Thro-Ra||The Tutsbone Jackles||2|
|–||Eleeazar Smith||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||3|
|–||Glog Gut-Rott||Black Orc Blocker||Orcland Cleavers||3|
|–||Lashiform Jr Jr||Rat Ogre||Tail Slammers||3|
|–||Madgash Ur||Ogre||Middenhein Manhunters||3|
|6||Korun Orchewer||Blocker||Grunhelm Gemcutters||2|
|–||Erza Wheedon||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||2|
|–||Khepe Neseru||Mummie (Legacy)||The Tutsbone Jackles||2|
|–||Arethe Hekh||Mummie (Legacy)||The Tutsbone Jackles||2|
|–||Fungus Ironshod||Troll||Orcland Cleavers||2|
|1||Lobsang Ludd||Thrower||Middenhein Manhunters||7|
|2||Rulg Ear-Hacker||Thrower||Orcland Cleavers||6|
|3||Erison Youngwhite||Thrower||The Loren Rangers||4|
|–||Hasrael Halfheart||Linesman||Brimstone Flayers||3|
|–||Jorgan Heineken||Catcher||The Brewers||3|
|7||Bat Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||2|
|–||(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’||Thrower||We Tree Fellows||2|
|–||(21) Wallace||Linesman||We Tree Fellows||2|
|1||Simon Orne||Ghoul||The Innsmouth Shadows||1|