Oh my, where has the time flown? Once again, while I am in the middle of writing my latest masterpiece on the top active players in the league and I am summoned to drop everything and get a summery out the door before the fans begin to riot!
So I have 6 weeks of action and 12 games to catch up with and I only have about 10 minutes to get it done before my party resumes. Lets get going! As before, I will focus on the individual teams rather then on the matches themselves.
The Flayers have only been in action once since the Cleavers tore them apart in the opening round of the Spite Challenge. After licking their wounds for a number of weeks they took a trip to visit Damage Inc at home. After looking like they would be the first team to lost to the Chaos pact muppets, they left with a 3-2 victory. Now the team is fully healed they are hopeful that they can continue the good form and win South Division.
Damage Inc are now the only team to have not won any points this season! They have been in action twice in the past six weeks against the bloody Loren Rangers and the previously discussed Flayers. Based on my introduction for this team you can guess that they had a wonderful time and picked up the points they deserved… I know they place a lot of their performance issues on their Troll and to be honest they might have a point! Their Troll is one of the stupidest creatures I have ever seen step foot onto a Blood Bowl Pitch.
The Gemcutters have finally made their return to the HDWSBBBL. After a unbelievable wait the short and angry ones returned to face the Middenhein Manhunters and then the Tutsbone Jackles. Against the Manhunters they suffered early on from a lack of speed but pulled something back near the end to force a draw. A similar situation happened against the Jackles where after a bit of a tussle they ended up drawing with the lords of the desert. Despite the Gemcutters hanging around near the top of South Division, I am still unconvinced about how far they will go. I need to see more of this team before I can make my mind up.
The Leapers have almost been impressive since I last watched them. Although they have only played one game against the Manhunters the clearly dominated their more experienced opponents and defeated them with an impressive ease. They are also lined up to take the South Division Championship assuming they can overcome the Loren Rangers
The Manhuters continue to suck! They have lost to the Leapers in a game they should have had no problems winning and they threw away victory against the Gemcutters. I am a bit concerned for their players though as the stress appears to be getting to them. Their Star Thrower Ludd was seen to be running around in circles during the game against the Leapers and Lord Havlock was forced to bench him the next game! Speaking of Havlock, I hear that he is on thin ice over in the Manhunters camp. Word is that he could soon be replaced by the Janitor! If the Manhunters management is reading this then please let that happen. It would be a great late Christmas present.
The mighty Cleavers hit a bit of a snag recently. After decimating all before them and climbing to the top of North Division they stumbled against a bunch of Elves! I guess the nightmares of their games against the Rangers from last season returned when they took on the Wee Tree Fellows as they could only manage a draw. I was impressed with the last minute fouling though as it sent a few not-so-Pro Elves off to the apothecaries – That’s always a good thing.
It looks like the bubble has burst on the form of the Tail Slammers. it’s about bloody time, I was getting worried that I would have to be writing about yet another victory from the furry puss bags however they could only draw with the Wee Tree Fellows and staggered when it came to the crunch game against the Shadows. They are still in with a small chance of winning North Division but hopefully they will become the next victims of the Halflings during their 30th game and we won’t be hearing from them again!
Its obvious my hunting trips have been getting to this little dinos as they have been in hiding for a few months. I have been trying to track them down with no luck. It turned out I needn’t have bothered to continue my quest to exterminate them from the league as during their match against the Halflings they had two Sarus die on them! It was a happy night in the Rockstein household I can tell you.
The Brewers are starting to get a grip on the game at last. After some impressive form they slipped up against the Halflings and became another team to lose to the 3-foot terrors. There where claims that someone had spiked their drink (hopefully not their own management) as they did appear to be a bit under the weather during their game. They are out of the running for the Championship V but they might have a chance in the Cleaver Cup
The Innsmouth Shadows
The Shadows upset me the other week when they announced that this was their last season on the HDWSBBL! I don’t know what I am going to do without the weekly ranting of JoJo. He is one of the only “sane” voices around here and we will miss him and his team! They had a disappointing draw against the Tail Slammers but they did have a cracking game against the Halflings in which they handed the midgets their biggest loss to date! It was a pleasure watching the Werewolves tear through all in their path although I wish they hadn’t spent so long picking the feathers from their teeth, that is what the half-time break is for (along with getting a bollocking from your coach). They are currently the strongest contenders for winning South Division. We will find out in a few short days if they can do it when they face the Cleavers.
The Loren Rangers
The Rangers have been very quiet over this last period as they have only graced us with their presence the once where they defeated Damage Inc. We are not entirely sure what they have been up too since then but they need to get their game gear back on soon otherwise they will struggle to catch up.
The Tutsbone Jackles
The Jackles are now only one game away from completing all their games in South Division. After a draw against the Gemcutters ended any dreams of qualifying for the Championship V the Jackles are now focused on finishing as far away from the bottom of the division as possible to ensure they have a good spot in the Cleaver Cup. Their final game is against Damage Inc…
We Tree Fellows
After a few inactive weeks the Fellows have been busy. They have drawn against the Cleavers and the Slammers and managed to pick up their first win of the season against the Halflings! The not-so-Pro Elves will need to pick up the pace just a little bit more if they want to win their first HDWSBBL Championship in what is rumoured to be their final season in the HDWSBBL.
I must admit, until recently I was under the impression that that Halflings where just little boys who had not grown up yet and not in fact an actual offshoot of the human race! Now that I have been corrected I can start another set of height related jokes! They have taken part in a fair number of games recently, They came up short against the Shadows, stepped up to the challenge of the Brewers, cowered in fear against the Predators and run as fast as their little legs could carry them against the WTF. One victory in four may not be the best tally but for a Halfling team that is pretty impressive. They are still looking up at the rest of the Division from the bottom of North Division but seeing as they spend most of their waking day looking up they should certainly not be counted out.
Gotta go now, the ladies are calling
Quick Summary of Week 10-16
- 7 games in North Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 5 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 57 Touchdowns scored
- 49 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
- 45 Completions made
- 1 Interception made
- 36,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 10-16
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
Open Scramble 2510/11 – North Division
- Tail Slammers 3 (1) – 3 (1) We Tree Fellows (att 26,000)
- TS: Nurglost the Expectorus, Super Rat (x2)
- wTF: (7) Dec, (69) Jimmy, Thistle
- The Innsmouth Shadows 3 (3) – 3 (1) Tail Slammers (att 27,000)
- TS: Nurglost the Expectorus (x2), Bat Rat
- TIS: Erza Wheedon, Pickman (x2)
- The Innsmouth Shadows 4 (1) – 0 (5) Wherethehellarewe Tribe (att 27,000)
- TIS: Eleeazar Smith (x4)
- We Tree Fellows 4 (4) – 5 (3) Wherethehellarewe Tribe (att 32,000)
- wTF: Thistle (x2), Harris (x2)
- wth: Wannamuffin, Little Running Behind, Little Big Man, Bears Belly, Geronimo
- Orcland Cleavers 2 (1) – 2 (0) We Tree Fellows (att 24,000)
- wTF: (0) Duncan ‘1/2 Pounder’, (7) Dec
- Cleav: Rulg Ear-Hacker, Grodash Plague-Snapper
- The Brewers 2 (1) – 4 (1) Wherethehellarewe Tribe (att 16,000)
- brew: Grolsch von Lager, Jorgan Heineken
- wth: Sun In Eyes (x2), Sleeping Badger, Bears Belly
- Wherethehellarewe Tribe 0 (4) – 2 (4) Teotigua Predators (att 29,000)
- TEO: Tama, Kimo
Open Scramble 2510/11 – South Division
- Middenhein Manhunters 2 (1) – 3 (1) Lustria Leapers (att 22,000)
- MM: Mad Hamish (x2)
- LL: Kukulcan, Huitzilopochtli (x2)
- The Tutsbone Jackles 1 (2) – 1 (3) Grunhelm Gemcutters (att 19,000)
- JACK: Menkht Sehuat
- GG: Murin Quicksilver
- Damage Inc 1 (2) – 3 (0) The Loren Rangers (att 36,000)
- LR: Caneran Everlong, Elengad Greenstone, Eruaran Lanalthir
- Dam: Akku
- Damage Inc 2 (2) – 3 (5) Brimstone Flayers (att 15,000)
- Dam: Akku, Elver Darkfire
- BF: Aedeorl Coldheart, Althor Darkheart, Elvire Luridheart
- Grunhelm Gemcutters 2 (2) – 2 (1) Middenhein Manhunters (att 21,000)
- MM: Sam Vimes, Mad Hamish
- GG: Durin Graniteheart, Lordrun Screeslider
Obituaries for Week 10-16
- Tama (Saurus for Teotigua Predators): Killed shorty after becoming the first Saurus to score a Touchdown. He was killed by someone a third of his size
- Koorga (Saurus for Teotigua Predators): Killed by a halfling. That pretty much sums up how shit his day was
- Thorin Oakenshield (Blocker for Grunhelm Gemcutters): Found out what happens if you pull on the bandages of a Mummy
League Standings for the Open Scramble 2510/11 (Week 16)
|The Innsmouth Shadows||5||3||1||1||13||7||6||12||9||3||10|
|We Tree Fellows||4||0||2||4||10||12||-2||5||9||-4||2|
|The Loren Rangers||3||3||0||0||8||3||5||5||2||3||9|
|The Tutsbone Jackles||5||1||2||2||5||6||-1||9||9||0||5|
Player Statistics for the 2510/11 Season (Week 16)
|1||Eleeazar Smith||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||32|
|2||Bat Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||24|
|–||Two Whistles||Halfling||Wherethehellarewe Tribe||22|
|5||Hans Kineitz||Blitzer||The Brewers||21|
|6||Erza Wheedon||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||20|
|7||Rientil Gloomheart||Linesman||Brimstone Flayers||19|
|8||Sun In Eyes||Halfling||Wherethehellarewe Tribe||17|
|10||Simon Orne||Ghoul||The Innsmouth Shadows||16|
|1||Bat Rat||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||7|
|–||Eleeazar Smith||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||7|
|3||Caneran Everlong||Catcher (Legacy)||The Loren Rangers||4|
|–||Nurglost the Expectorus||Gutter Runner||Tail Slammers||4|
|–||Grolsch von Lager||Catcher||The Brewers||4|
|–||Althor Darkheart||Blitzer||Brimstone Flayers||4|
|9||Reg Shoe||Catcher||Middenhein Manhunters||3|
|–||Elesser Everlong||Catcher (Legacy)||The Loren Rangers||3|
|1||Eleeazar Smith||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||5|
|–||Lashiform Jr Jr||Rat Ogre||Tail Slammers||5|
|3||Madgash Ur||Ogre||Middenhein Manhunters||4|
|–||Glog Gut-Rott||Black Orc Blocker||Orcland Cleavers||4|
|–||Some Kind of Monster||Minotaur||Damage Inc||4|
|8||Erza Wheedon||Werewolf||The Innsmouth Shadows||3|
|–||Fungus Ironshod||Troll||Orcland Cleavers||3|
|1||Erison Youngwhite||Thrower||The Loren Rangers||13|
|2||Lobsang Ludd||Thrower||Middenhein Manhunters||11|
|3||Macbeth||Thrower||We Tree Fellows||9|
|5||Rulg Ear-Hacker||Thrower||Orcland Cleavers||7|
|6||(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’||Thrower||We Tree Fellows||6|
|7||(0) Duncan ‘1/2 Pounder’||Blitzer||We Tree Fellows||5|
|8||Henry Coffin||Thrower||Middenhein Manhunters||4|
|–||Two Whistles||Halfling||Wherethehellarewe Tribe||4|
|–||Hasrael Halfheart||Linesman||Brimstone Flayers||4|
|1||Lauren Lightair||Lineself||The Loren Rangers||1|
|–||Simon Orne||Ghoul||The Innsmouth Shadows||1|
|–||Little Running Behind||Halfling||Wherethehellarewe Tribe||1|