Season 6 – Week 5 – Lonely…..I Am So Lonely!

Hey folks i’m back and feeling like my old self again. Sorry about my last summary i read it a few days ago and was ashamed, ashamed of what i wrote that day. Well lesson learnt, never enter into a drinking competion with an ork on an empty stomach.

So, as those of you that have been paying attention, this week saw the last of the Divisionl games take place. This is the time when teams want to cement themselves in a good position before taking on their neighbouring divison in their conference.

Just for a change i’ll start at East Division. Oh i just remembered this divsion finished the week before. Apparantly they had an internal divisional bet that they could be finished before the offer divsions. Me thinks that the commissoners might want to intervene with this one. There is a fixture list for a reason people.

Over in West division we have the Defilers vs the Razorhawkes. Both of these teams have won thier opening matchs, so for one of these teams a win would put them top. With a good run from the Razorhawkes it was time to see if they could win without their talisman Morg n Thorg. Unfortunatley for the elfs they, well, they simply got pounded into the pitch. The Defilers won 3-0 and caused 4 casulitys one resulting in a death. The other match to take place is between the Jackles and the Vixens. Where the other teams have points and vying for top spot these two are just playing for points and to not come bottom. With both teams reputations at stake it was going to be one to watch. As the final whistle blew one team had the points, their reputation in tack and played a blinding good game whereas the other team should of just stayed at home and done what women  are good at and not bloody well bothered coming back. Jackles 2- 1 Vixens.

North division saw the Tabocconists take on Creeping Death. With the humilating defeat of the Vixens it was time for the Creeps to stand up and be counted for all norse kind. After much tussling the Tobbaconists came out on top for casulities but the game was a one all draw. One point better then the Vixens. The other match to take place was between the Grimwood Voodoo and Brimstone Flayers. A  fairly straight forward match for the Flayers as it turned out. Much to the Voodoo’s fans dismay the Flayers dominated for the most part getting 3 past the Voodoo people. In the Voodoos defence they did score one touchdown.

Lastly we visit South Division. We go straight to the match between the Gelfs and WTF. Both teams have had a cracking start to the season so it was time to see who would end up top and win three out of three matchs. After a high scoring match it was WTF who took the spoils winning 4-3. The Gelfs were happy not to lose a player this match but i dont think it will be long till another player gets capped. Finally we have the Lighting Claws against the Tribe. Now once again we have two teams who have not scored a single point this season and if it wasnt for this match probably wouldnt all season. In what could of been a high flying game, for the halflings at least, it was a pretty lame match. The Claws had Morg n Thorg for support but in the end that wasnt enough. The Tribe snatched a 1-0 win. Maybe the only victory under their belt this season, but then again you never know.

Well thats it for another week. and its certainly been intresting. We’ve got some good teams on top where they should be and a shit team bottom where they belong (Vixens). Now dont get me wrong. I’m complety impartial when it comes to the League. I dont do favourites i’m not allowed to bet on teams i just thought the Vixens were going to do well. How fucked off am i at the moment. Oh well.

Just so you know i’m sleeping rough at the moment as no one seems to want me in their stadium or wants my help. Maybe the whole chasing Elfs and boozing it up with orks is still fresh in peoples minds. Maybe nooone wants a perverted, alcholic janitor around. Well screw you i’m still here.


Quick Summary of Week 5

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2511/12
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2511/12
  • 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2511/12
  • 20 Touchdowns scored
  • 19 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 13 Completions made
  • 28,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 5

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – NWC North

World Series 2511/12 – NWC South

World Series 2511/12 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 5

Player Statistics for the (Week 5)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 21
2 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 16
3 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 15
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 15
5 Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 13
Frey Gunnar Linesman Creeping Death 13
Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 13
8 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 12
9 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 11
Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 11

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 7
2 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 4
3 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 3
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 3
Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 3
7 Borzhar-Kul Beastman Drakwald Defilers 2
Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 2
Incltil Fellheart Linesman Brimstone Flayers 2
Harris Catcher We Tree Fellows 2

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 3
Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 3
3 Mehutu Se Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 2
Sutekh Iah Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
Sesslith “The Seductive” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 2
Kalbaz Skaven Blitzer Lightning Claws 2
(12) Furgus ‘R U Lookin @ Me?’ Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Ta-Kin-Root Mercenary The Gelfs 2
9 Amunop Nehti Blitz-Ra The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Ra Heribi Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 6
Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 6
3 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 3
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 3
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 3
7 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 2
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 2
Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 2

One comment

  1. Hi Janitor

    There is space at the Beaumont Bowl for you to stay for a while. The converted North stables that we did for the Blitzers Ogre is empty at the moment.

    You will have to promise to leave the 160,000 gallons of Fellows 7X alone though that are brewing under the West stand.



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