Good day to you all and welcome back to the Janitors Broom Cupboard.
I start today with some shocking news. After going through the stats and such like i found out the Valhalen Vixens have no points. Yes that’s right people you have read correctly, the Valhalen Vixens have NO points. With the half point of the season nearly upon us it is looking very bleak for the Vixens. Possibly, thinking about it, none of you will shocked by this and neither do any of you give shit. Anyway enough of that lets talk about some teams that are actually playing Blood Bowl proper.
Firstly we have a postponed match between the Brimstone Flayers and the Wee Tree Fellows. In a match that promised much we weren’t left wanting. The Flayers beat the Fellows 3-2. By all accounts it could of gone either way but the flayers got the job done an showed why their still a championship winning team.
Now for the results from across the rest of the league.
After beating the vixens so comfortably it was time to see how well the Bad Tempered Marauders would do against the top team team from west division. In true Defiler fashion they beat the Marauders 2-0 and carry on the wining streak.
The Vixens carry on their losing streak losing to a well prepared and totally awesome Universal Horror team. Final score 2-0 to the Horrors.
A draw next and not all expected by myself. I’m talking of the match between the Tutsbone Jackals and the Daemon Stumps. With a goal a piece this was a true stand off between 2 brick walls. 1-1.
Brimstone Flayers again but this time against the Lighting Claws. Seems there’s no stopping the Flayers at the moment with another win under their belt beating the claws 2-1.
Wee Tree Fellows also played again and did slightly better then in their last game. Neither coach was happy with the final outcome only managing to get a draw. Final score was 2-2.
And finally we had the Whereinthehellarewe Tribe vs the Talos Tobacconists. Most people would of had one team winning this fixture be it either the Talos riping into the Halflings (literally) or the Halflings being tossed all over the pitch. Disappointingly it ended as a 1-1 draw with the tribe scoring almost before time was up. Rumour has it that in the second half both teams set up an then just stood and stared at each other for a large portion of the half. More on this as and when i get more information.
In true HDWSBBL fashion someone, somewhere doesn’t play their match when their supposed to and this report is no different. This week i have two late matches for you. The Gelfs vs Creeping Death and Elfheim Razorhawkes vs Blackburners.
First off we’ll look at the match between the Razorhawkes and Blackburners. With both teams coming back from defeats it was game on for an exciting match and we weren’t left wanting. The match was won by the Blackburners 2-1 after giving the Hawkes a right mauling. By time the final whistle blew the Hawkes had 3 injured players being tended to and 7 players piled up in the KO’d box. When i first saw this i nearly wet myself from laughter…
Lastly we have the Gelfs vs Creeping Death. Now for reasons unknown to us the Creeps have done 2 things to surprise us here at HDWSBBL HQ which we still cant get our heads round. It seems rather then support his team Head Coach Odin had something else more pressing to attend to and didn’t travel to the Brothel with his team. To make matters even worse it seems he got Brynhilder of the Vixens to coach the team as a one off stand in. Odin. Why the F**k would you get the worse F**king coach to F**king manage your F**king team. I mean for F**k sake your own F**king team is only 1 F**king point better off then her own F**king Team. Surely you could of F**king found some other F**ker to watch the team……… Sorry lost the plot there, back to the match. The match started well for the Creeps getting a few early bashes in causing a death to a Gelf linelf. The first half then carried on with much pushing and shoving with neither team making much headway till the Creeps manged to break through an score. All seemed to be going well for the Creeps. But then disaster befell the Creeps when Brynhilder stated playing the Creeps like she does with the Vixens. Badly. The Gelfs started hitting back harder and manged an early equalizer. The Creeps closed ranks and prevented the Elfs coming back again. One of the Gelfs lineelfs tried to block a Creep but ended up killing herself after being impaled on the Creeps armour. With 2 Gelfs off the pitch it seemed the Creeps could hold out for the final minutes of the match but in true elf fashion the Gelfs pulled a last ditch touchdown effort out the bag to score. The match ended 2-1 to the Gelf’s.
Another report done and if we’ve learned anything from the last couple of weeks its don’t get another coach to watch over your team if you cant be there. No that’s not quite true if you cant make it don’t get a shite coach (Brynhider) to take you place.
Well have fun out there, and don’t do anything i would do….
N.B The view’s expressed in this report are those of the janitor only and not of the HDWSBBL. While confused at the choices made by Odin we totally understand his need of absence and the need to have a coach support his team. Just not his choice of coach. That said we hope to see Odin back on the sidelines for Creeping Deaths next match.
Quick Summary of Week 7
- 8 games in Cross Division – World Series 2511/12
- 27 Touchdowns scored
- 24 Casualties caused (1 resulted in Death)
- 18 Completions made
- 1 Interception made
- 35,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 7
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
World Series 2511/12 – Cross Division
- Brimstone Flayers 4 (3) – 0 (0) Whereinthehellarewe Tribe (att 35,000)
- BF: Aedir Blisteredheart, Hasrael Halfheart, Eric Jetheart, Ned Illheart
- Creeping Death 2 (0) – 3 (1) We Tree Fellows (att 29,000)
- wTF: (7) Dec (x2), (69) Jimmy
- CRD: Sindri Bladr, Gandalf Thor
- Blackburners 0 (2) – 2 (2) The Tutsbone Jackles (att 30,000)
- JACK: Moseru Rekhu, Me Uptai
- Grimwood Voodoo 3 (2) – 1 (1) Lightning Claws (att 23,000)
- GVD: Pieter Horst, Gunnar Helblade, Dietrich Deathcheater
- LCS: Shell Four
- Talos Tobacconists 2 (2) – 3 (1) The Gelfs (att 23,000)
- TAT: Benson, Richmond
- GLF: Blanca, Gwen, Aliwen
- Temper Bay Marauders 1 (4) – 2 (0) Elfheim Razorhawks (att 17,000)
- ERH: Rog Turin, Melimion Alyan
- TBM: Ueghor Ironjaw
- Universal Horrors 0 (0) – 2 (4) Drakwald Defilers (att 28,000)
- DWD: Gorsquakor, Kurtok-Gor
- Deamons Stump Deamonicans 2 (1) – 0 (1) Valhallen Vixen’s (att 27,000)
- DSD: Dushruk, Ugrushuk
Obituaries for Week 7
Player Statistics for the (Week 7)
|3||Two Whistles||Halfling||Whereinthehellarewe Tribe||26|
|4||Festus “The Pestitant”||Chaos Warrior||Drakwald Defilers||24|
|6||(7) Dec||Catcher||We Tree Fellows||21|
|–||Frey Gunnar||Linesman||Creeping Death||21|
|8||Dushruk||Hobgoblin||Deamons Stump Deamonicans||20|
|9||Gurt Tombbrood||Ghoul||Grimwood Voodoo||19|
|10||Lupus Baskervile||Werewolf||Universal Horrors||18|
|2||(7) Dec||Catcher||We Tree Fellows||7|
|4||Dushruk||Hobgoblin||Deamons Stump Deamonicans||6|
|5||Two Whistles||Halfling||Whereinthehellarewe Tribe||5|
|6||Hamilton||Catcher||We Tree Fellows||4|
|–||Gurt Tombbrood||Ghoul||Grimwood Voodoo||4|
|–||Rog Turin||Blitzer||Elfheim Razorhawks||4|
|9||(69) Jimmy||Catcher||We Tree Fellows||3|
|–||Me Uptai||Thro-Ra||The Tutsbone Jackles||3|
|1||Festus “The Pestitant”||Chaos Warrior||Drakwald Defilers||7|
|2||Lucky Strike||Minotaur||Talos Tobacconists||4|
|–||Atem Ra||Mummie||Grimwood Voodoo||3|
|–||Frank Shellnstein||Flesh Golem||Universal Horrors||3|
|–||Sesslith “The Seductive”||Chaos Warrior||Drakwald Defilers||3|
|8||(12) Furgus ‘R U Lookin @ Me?’||Linesman||We Tree Fellows||2|
|–||(0) Duncan ‘1/2 Pounder’||Blitzer||We Tree Fellows||2|
|–||(14) Dylan ‘Hey Man!’||Linesman||We Tree Fellows||2|
|1||(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’||Thrower||We Tree Fellows||10|
|3||Macbeth||Thrower||We Tree Fellows||8|
|4||Manwe Durion||Thrower||Elfheim Razorhawks||6|
|–||Morgrat Shadowthrow||Thrower||Temper Bay Marauders||6|
|7||Aedeorl Coldheart||Blitzer||Brimstone Flayers||4|
|8||Siessz the Infected||Skaven Thrower||Lightning Claws||3|
|10||Haggis||Linesman||We Tree Fellows||2|
|1||Zhatan Deamontongue||Chaos Dwarf Blocker||Deamons Stump Deamonicans||2|