Welcome HDWSBBL fans,
I am Dedsmen Linearm the new reporter for Warzone. Week by week this update will lead you through the league news, match reports, thrills and spills as the HDWSBBL progresses including my special injury update “Hack of the Day”.
This week I have a very special preview for you through all the 16 teams that will be battling it out for gold and glory and this season looks to be set up for more adrenaline filled action, fun and underhand tactics. Dust down that armour, tie up those steel toe cap boots and grab your spikey balls for the start of season eight.
Arcani’s All Sparks
Another Skaven team from the home of the Tail Slammers. With Arcani Sparks’ death and zombified resurrection at the hands of the Atrocity Exhibition it seems that the rats have put together (quite literally) a team in his honour with Arcani Spark Jnr, Jnr, Jnr, Jnr captaining this metal monstrocity. This skaven mob is heavily influenced by the engineering clans and have placed special mechanised robot rats in place of actual players! Along with their special alternating pitch capable of Dungeon Bowl and Street Bowl this rookie team could claim a few upsets in the World Series.
Nurgle teams are are rare thing in the HDWSBBL with this rookie team being only the second team devoted to the Chaos god of pestilence. Coached by Clinkz Eastwood (a flamming skeleton no less) this team will be looking to infect fans with a winning feeling from the start to keep their sponsors of Megacreeps happy. Will they turn the HDWSBBL into decayed wastes or will it be “Bang and the dirt is gone”?
The Defilers have been the hot favourites for the World Championship two seasons on the trot only to fall in the Conference Championship game both times. Amassing a huge 75 casualties in 2 seasons this team is built to hurt the opposition and aren’t too shabby at scoring touchdowns either with 41 in 25 games. This season many will back this Chaotic juggernaut as Superbowl champions and who would argue with them when you look at the players they have in Festus “The Pestitant”, Asgoth “The Furious” and not forgetting star beastman Gorsquakor who has 22 touchdowns all by himself. Third time lucky? They will be preying to Khorne for opponent deaths and Tzeentch for fortune as they assault the HDWSBBL.
Gog Magog Gladiators
A last minute entry to the HDWSBBL and nothing is known about the newest Ogre team on the block. Ogre teams normally aim crush all their opponents but they could yet find that they are as sqishy as a snotlings cod piece in a rain shower. I think we will have to wait and see.
Har Ganeth Heartbreakers
Dark Elves have a very good pedigree in this league and the Heartbreakers will be looking to continue this trend and build on their first season. A lot was expected from this team when it was announced in 2512/13 but they didn’t fully capture their potential as the weight of past champions Brimstone Flayers and Kar ond Kar Corsairs was laid on their shoulders. This season should see them repeat their success of reaching the playoffs and they will hope that with 2 new witch elves recruited to their sadistic cause that they will go one better and into a conference final. A winning start is essential to this team as they have shown in the past they are bang or bust.
Jimps and Perps
Last years whipping boys are back for a crack at redemption. Admittedly their failure wasn’t all their own fault as the original coach disappeared mysteriously only to leave a total novice at the helm. There have been rumours that the new coach has been taking tips from The Doc and Coach Shigglez in the off season so don’t be surprised that after a couple of games these humans start to get some decent results. We will all look forward to this teams first points on the board.
Karond Kar Oblivion
Another Dark Elf team enters the HDWSBBL in search of glory. The KK Oblivion have no recent form records to go on but it is known that “The Dementor” and his horde have been part of many tournaments in the Old World causing death, destruction and most of all winning trophies. If my sources are to be believed this team will be one to watch this season.
The first vampire team to grace the league nearly went and won it all in their rookie season with only the Atrocity Exhibition stopping the relentless march to ultimate victory in the Superbowl. “The Doc” has brought the New World Conference champions back for a second season and now with a full complement of Nightlords and a host of thrall minions these vampires will be donning the Orclay sunglasses and suncream to do battle on the gridiron once more. The biggest questions will be about the blood lust which the vampires feel and if they will be able to repeat the magical winning run that sent within touching distance of the World Championship.
The other human team in the HDWSBBL this year were also rookies last time out but fared slightly better with wins over the Sect of Temptation and Jimps and Perps which was topped off by an impressive tie against the Tail Slammers. Experience will have taught this team a few tricks from last season so look out for them in the draw as they are not to be underestimated.
Sect of Temptation
Owned by Harthur Daily and originally coached by Lady Havelock the ladies of the Sect began life showing as much tactical nouse as the Manhunters. However it wasn’t all doom and gllom last season for the amazons as they produced impressive ties to the Talos Tobacconists and Blackburners. Thrower Jenny Craig finished with the most completed passes in the world series and paired with the queen of catching Rita means this team could go places. Whispers are also going around that the Janitor has now taken over coaching the team but we will have to wait and see.
Slaaneshi Big Society
A new Chaos team making the total of four in the HDWSBBL this season (if you include the Nurgle). The team is brave and fearless in it’s design and with the unholy bargin of 100 touchdowns or casualties to release the do-gooders stuck inside the Chaos monsters maybe we should expect blood, gore and scoring as we have come to expect from all Chaos teams.
Wow did this team have a great season in 2512-13!? These were the team of the campaign in many coaches eyes and were only stopped by the Nightlords. Similarly to the Defilers they are back for a third season but this team has the added threat of an option passing game. Couple that with the best big guy in the league “Lucky Strike” and this team will take some stopping.
Teotigua Flying Frogs
In this humble reporters opinion the Slann have no place in Blood Bowl (but I had a bad experience once trying to find an enchanted princess but that is another story). However coach Klaus Von Jaeger does and some how he has managed to get away from the dwarf Rebels, back to Lustria and find himself with a bunch of hallucinogenic frogs. Good luck Klaus.
The Asgard Marauders
Don’t let the stats fool you with this team. They may have finished thrid in their group in 2512/13 but with the points tally they acquired they would have been at least 2nd in every other group. A Conference final place was the least they deserved and they are back for more to try and go one better. Players to watch would be Balder and both Ulfwerners these men will be pivotal for the Marauders hopes in 2513/14.
The Riverside Rainbows
Halflings are not normally known for winning many matches of Blood Bowl but when you have a coach with as much determination as Bob Hopeless (pity about his name) you can only think that these little guys may stand a chance. Another team funded by Harthur Daily and you can guarantee that these guys will enjoy a high flying (via treeman) and fun season.
The Tlaqua Spacehoppers
Complete unknowns to the HDWSBBL and the second Slann team on our lists for 2513/14. Coached by Lord Axoltalan this will be an all out fight with the Teotigua Flying Frogs to see who will be King of the Slann.
The Wild Brunch
Another late entry to the HDWSBBL and coached by Ponto “the Portly” Grub. Undoubtedly with large trees and a chef waiting in the background to open a McMurty’s burger stall whereever they are the little men of Wild Acres will make there way through their season with dogged determination.
Elf teams are made up from all the truly professional players of the elven kingdoms. Hailing from Waterbowl Stadium this team is a mystery to the HDWSBBL (even the commisioners and owners). What I can tell you though is (i) the coach is rumoured to have cut his teeth in tournaments around the Old World and (ii) that these elves will be late starters in the league. When they get here though mark my words you will want to keep an eye on them.
From me- Dedsmen Linearm, I wish all the teams good luck in the new season.
Warzone reporter for HDWSBBL