Season 9 – Week 2 – JoJo Reports!

So, here we are then. Week two. What? Where was I for week one? Nagash is back. That’s where I effing was for week one. Anyway, week 2.
Temper Bay vs Blackmountain Bloodjaws
In the first half, the Mads gave new Orc boys on the block the Bloodjaws a show on how it’s done, with a sound drubbing in the first half. Perhaps the Bloodjaws, after giving the poor old Burners a thorough pounding last match had developed a degree of overconfidence that was to prove to be their downfall?
Nope. Come the second half, after what must have been an absolutely apocalyptic amount of shouting by their coach the Jaws pulled themselves together and scraped up a draw.
Fairy Wizards Guild vs Monster Mashers
The Fairy Wizards Guild continue this recent trend for giving teams innocuous names that give no information about them. The Fairies are a Chaos Pact team, well best of luck to them, they surely couldn’t do any worse than Damage Inc.
I mean, statistically speaking I’m pretty sure it’s not possible.
Anyway, the Fairies have a nasty streak for jamminess that puts me in mind of the now thankfully dead Arcani Spark, but the Mashers are a solid Necro team, the kind I wish I used to coach.
It always warms my inanimate heart to see a Necromantic team give another team a good thumping. Utter carnage and mayhem was on the cards for this match, just what you want to see in a good game of blood bowl.
Oxmoor Savages Vs Carcassone Province Paladins
Fun fact, the Paladins are actually humans, not Elves. Who knew? Also, the Savages are a traditional Chaos Team in the hands of a coach who knows his way around the blocking, blitzing and putting-the-boot-in-when-the-ref-is-looking-elsewhere side of the game. The Pallies touchdown proved they aren’t a team to discount this year, but in the end the Savages pulled ahead in the second half for a 2-1 win.
Mycean Marauders vs the Vixens
Now, nobody was as surprised as I was to see the Vixens making a return. The Myckies are this years new Wood Elf team, one of the few agility teams to take part in this year, no doubt the cheating dagger ears will be looking to emulate such superstar teams as the Loren Rangers and the infamous Korsairs.
Against Elvish agility the Vixens seem to be holding their own despite letting in a Touch… wait a second, that can’t be right, this scorecard is saying that’s the Vixens TD.
Bloody hell they’re winning! Could this be the turning point for the Vixens and Brynhilder? COULD THIS MARK AN AMAZING TURNAROUND WHERE AT LONG LAST THE VIXENS WILL STORM THE LEAGUES TO LIFT SILVERWA… oh no nevermind they just fumbled it.
False alarm, Normal performance standards have been resumed.
Darkfleet Assassins vs Nordringen Titans
The Titans hardly have the best track record, and I think we’ve only had one Dark Elf team in the league history NOT get their greedy effeminate elfhands on some silverware, so the writing was probably on the wall for this one.
Nevertheless, the Titans are the team with more experience behind them, all of it bad, I’ll grant you, but I know better than anyone that sometimes you take what you can get.
Experience will out they say and 2-1 to the humans proved to be the Elf undoing as the clout was laid on the pansyhands goth wanna-bes.
Blackburners Vs The Brewers
Two experienced teams faced off for what turned out to be a solid 2-0 win for the Brewers. Another lot of bad form for the Blackburners who continue to struggle to get that first point. Ultimately the Brewers had the better form, and what few mistakes they did make, the Burners were never able to properly capitalise on.
The fans must have been infuriated as well, as when one of the Bull Centaurs wandered too close to the edge of the field, a quick nudge from a Brewers player saw him in the crowd. Furious fans armed with chainsaws descended on the poor demi-bullock and within minutes he was being served as rump steak. A bad game for them all round.
The Brewers meanwhile get a good win under their belt with no casualties as they go into what will surely be a hard match against Big Society.
Arkhan Black Towers vs Mordheim Comets
Finally a Skaven team without Arcani Spark and they have began to redeem themselves after a bad performance.  The first half showed what rats do –  a quick hand off-pass-run like sh*te playfollowed by a 7 turn undead death-march to end the 1st half 1-1.  It all looked good for The Doc in the 2nd half until a failed cage from the undead left the ball dropping into the hands of a mummy who not knowing what to do with it failed to block a simple line-rat.  Well after some more skaven spawny plays it ended 2-1 to the rats in the dying seconds.  The next matches will be vital for all in that group.
See you all next week for the cup matches



Quick Summary of Week 2

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in OWC East – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2514/15
  • 23 Touchdowns scored
  • 26 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 18 Completions made
  • 23,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 2

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2514/15 – NWC North

World Series 2514/15 – NWC South

World Series 2514/15 – OWC East

World Series 2514/15 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 2

World Series 2514/15 Standings for the (Week 2)

** New World Confrence (NWC) **

NWC North

Oxmoor Savages 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 2 0 2 6
Ashut Titans 2 1 0 1 4 2 2 4 3 1 3
Carcassonne Province Paladins 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 2 2 0 3
Fairy Wizards Guild 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 1 4 -3 0

NWC South

Arkhan Black Towers 2 1 0 1 4 2 2 7 4 3 3
Monster Mashers 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 4 4 0 3
Slaaneshi Big Society 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 7 5 2 3
Mordheim Comets 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 1 6 -5 3

** Old World Confrence (OWC) **

OWC East

Darkfleet Assasins 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 3 4 -1 6
Valhallen Vixen’s 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 3 5 -2 4
Nordenringen Titans 2 0 1 1 3 5 -2 7 1 6 1
Mycenaen Marauders 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 2 5 -3 0

OWC West

Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 4 4 0 4
The Brewers 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 1 2 -1 4
Temper Bay Marauders 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 5 2 3 2
Blackburners 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 1 3 -2 0

Player Statistics for the (Week 2)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Doggy Werewolf Monster Mashers 15
2 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 12
3 Pennington Beastman Oxmoor Savages 11
François de la Maine Catcher Carcassonne Province Paladins 11
5 Brunbare Linesman The Brewers 10
Sven Ulfwerner Valhallen Vixen\’s 10
7 LaQuinton \’Cuddles\’ Evans Ogre Nordenringen Titans 9
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 9
Prince Ehtar Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 9
Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 9

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 4
2 Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 3
Bris Goat-boy Hobgoblin Ashut Titans 3
4 Garash Rockhead Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 2
Steve the Bandit Linesman Nordenringen Titans 2
Coneygear Beastman Oxmoor Savages 2
François de la Maine Catcher Carcassonne Province Paladins 2
8 Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Chuck von Norris Blitzer The Brewers 1
Grolsch von Lager Catcher The Brewers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Nagosh Tear\’hearts Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 2
LaQuinton \’Cuddles\’ Evans Ogre Nordenringen Titans 2
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 2
Prince Ehtar Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 2
Silvious Soulreaper Wight Arkhan Black Towers 2
Zhuthark Blood-Nose Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 2
Kaine Soulshredder Blitzer Darkfleet Assasins 2
Korgak the Krazy Blitzer Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2
9 Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Kirkus Snow Troll Valhallen Vixen\’s 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 6
2 Émile De\’Manning Thrower Carcassonne Province Paladins 5
3 Buggerit Hobgoblin Blackburners 2
Blunderball Bironas Thrower Nordenringen Titans 2
Ezra Scariet Dark Elf Renegade Fairy Wizards Guild 2
Vrograg Spleen Chucker Thrower Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2
7 Enrica Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Jager von Meister Thrower The Brewers 1
Jorgan Heineken Catcher The Brewers 1
Rankle Hobgoblin Blackburners 1

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