Season 9 – Sly Sports Cup Review – Round 1

What’s that? Where’s my Kentucky fried accent gone? Nagash is back. That’s where my [censored] accent’s gone. Well, this week was a cup week, so there was plenty of cross division stuff going on as everyone attempted to thump their way to silverware.

 

Valhallen Vixens vs Mordheim Comets

When two teams with piss poor armour attempt to play Blood Bowl like they’re Orcs, you can bet the team apothecary is going to have to earn his pay check. The rats sacrificed players left and right to secure a touchdown against the Vixens but a resounding equaliser from Victor in the second half was able to tie the game. Only for the Rats to then score a second time amidst yet further carnage, where multiple players had to be stretchered off for both teams. Another loss for the Vixens that sees them out of the Cup, whilst the Comets go on to play the Mads in the second round.

 

Monster Mashers vs Nordringen Titans

The Titans have been having a surprisingly decent run of form considering their history, and still forging ahead with the momentum gained from their previous win, they were putting up a sterling defence against the Monster Mashers, knocking out star player Ramtut early on. However the Mashers are a solid team with a methodical coach who doesn’t let things get to him, and he was able to ground out a touchdown for himself whilst shutting the Titans out. An excellent display from the Titans, a team I think many would have discounted going into the season all the same.

 

Arkhan Black Towers vs Darkfleet Assassins

The Towers are good example of a classical Undead team, plenty tough and even more mean. The Towers deal another loss to the Fleets although with nowhere near enough death and destruction for my liking*. Still the fans were left entertained, as after an early concession from the Towers, it looked like the Fleet were going to finally secure a win and begin their transformation into the spawny silverware lifting dagger eared [censored] that we all remember them being capable of. Luckily, the Towers scored twice later on, booting Fleet out of the Cup, and will be going to face the Mashers next.
*Exactly how much would be enough for me with regards to Dark Elves is still a matter of great debate.

 

Black Mountain Bloodjaws vs Oxmoor Savages

The Jaws have been running rampage so far this season, refusing to let teams three years their senior put them down. Oxmoor have also had a good run of games, but nothing quite so spectacular as the Jaws, so whilst the good money was on the Jaws, more than a few people might have had speculative flutters on the Savages.
Oxmoor Savages repaid them by scoring what the Jaws coach personally described to me as a “Spawny [censored] TD” putting them ahead, and then shutting down the Jaw’s offence, a feat that no other team has yet managed so far.
This upset win means that they will be facing either the Paladins or Blackburners once they play their game. Given the Burners current form, the money is on the Savages having to deal with the Paladins once again.

 

Slaanesh Big Society vs The Brewers

Big Society were able to stop any momentum the Brewers had going after their resounding thumping of the Burners this match. Scoring twice with no returns Society put paid to the Brewers cup hopes with savage and effective aplomb.
Big Society Coach: “Alric Relish” moaned to me that this meant that his team was no longer eligible for this years coveted Vase award thanks to this win. I guess they’ll just have to console themselves with a game against the Ashust Titans in the next round.

 

Ashut Titans vs Mycenaen Marauders

Hilarity ensued as The Hut hit everyone and everything on the Mickies team. Abject carnage ensued as almost everyone from the Mickies found themselves knocked out or worse. By the second half the Mickies had only 2 players left on the field a testament to the ruination delivered upon them by The Hut.  Even then, those 2 players nearly scored which would have won the Mickies the game, as in the pouring rain, the Hut was having a devil of a time picking up the ball to get the TD’s needed to win.

Next game it will see Big Society trying to Hit the Hut, but will The Hut hit them?

 

Fairy Wizards Guild vs Temper Bay Marauders

The Fairies brought no less than four big guys onto the field to try and stop the Mads. The Mads laughed at them and steamrollered the lot of them, winning 3-0 with the sort of vicious form that we remember of them. This win puts them through to a second round against the Mordheim Comets. To whom I simply say: “Good [censored] Luck. You’re going to [censored] need it.”

As of now, the following teams are confirmed for the Vase competition: The Fairies, The Vixens, The Fleet, Titans, What’s left of the Mickies, The Brewers and the Bloodjaws, and either the Pallies or the Burners but probably the Burners, let’s be fair they aren’t feeling it this season at all. Anyway, unless the Bloodjaws accidentially forget to turn up or something, I can’t see them not lifting the Vase at the end of this one, barring a surprise upset from the Brewers.

As for the actual Cup, I reckon Towers vs Oxmoor for the finals, but we could easily see the Mashers or the Hut instead.

JoJo

Quick Summary of Week

  • 6 games in First Round – The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15
  • 13 Touchdowns scored
  • 21 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 7 Completions made
  • 27,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15 – First Round

Obituaries for Week

  • Gustav Skulltaker (Wight for Arkhan Black Towers): Killed by a Dark Elf. He went to his second death! This was Kaine Soulshredder’s second kill in a row! If he makes it three the HDWSBBL will award him a new award for such a feat!
  • Steve the Bandit (Linesman for Nordenringen Titans): Killed by the angry Masher fans who had not seen much chaos happening on the pitch, decided to take it upon themselves to do it.

Player Statistics for the (Week )

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 8
2 Nick ‘The Mangler’ Stephens Blitzer Nordenringen Titans 7
Hagfang Skullbringer Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 7
4 Ueghor Ironjaw Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 6
5 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 5
Koff Basher Ogre The Brewers 5
Gave Dohl Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 5
Nazza Wight Monster Mashers 5
Desborough Beastman Oxmoor Savages 5
Doz One-Ear Line Rat Mordheim Comets 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Ueghor Ironjaw Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 2
2 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Garash Rockhead Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 1
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Izzies Ed\’ard Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Doggy Werewolf Monster Mashers 1
Coneygear Beastman Oxmoor Savages 1
Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 1
Corpsegrinder Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 1
Forg Throquol Gutter Runner Mordheim Comets 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Nool the Hook Line Rat Mordheim Comets 2
Blunderbuss Bironas Thrower Nordenringen Titans 2
3 Thorhilder Linesman Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Kirkus Snow Troll Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Hans Kineitz Blitzer The Brewers 1
Nick ‘The Mangler’ Stephens Blitzer Nordenringen Titans 1
Hagfang Skullbringer Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 1
Rashi Goblin-Cleaver Troll Temper Bay Marauders 1
Donny Jepp Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 2
2 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Enrica Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Pennington Beastman Oxmoor Savages 1
Toxaden Skark Thrower Mordheim Comets 1
Ludual Sharpfoot Runner Darkfleet Assasins 1

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