Duration: 20th Nov 2514 – 4th Dec 2514
- Competition(s): The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15, The Sly Sports Vase Championship 2514/15
- Season: 2514/15 Season
What about the reports? I’ve done my half of ’em! Someone else will have to do other the lazy basta… ahh good evening everyone. Sorry about the lack of match reports but I have been busy. Hiding under a rock from Nagash? No not me. I have been busy… umm doing something else anyway here’s my reports. Right back to my… ummm… work. HIDE!
Bloodjaws Vs Darkfleet Assassins
The Fleet had something of a crisis this game, where they somehow managed to fail even most simplest of tasks. Seeing their opponent having such problems the Jaws seized on the opportunity to score in the first half. The Fleet were never able to overcome the ‘Jaw’s defensive line-up and finished the game with no touchdowns, a rare occurance for an elf team.
This game leaves us with several questions to answer: (1) Will the Paladins have the “Garlic bulbs” to beat the Bloodjaws in the next round? (2) Will the Dark Elves recover from this stunning lack of form? And most important of all, (3) What did the ‘Jaws slip into the Fleets waterbottles that day and where can we all get some?
Slaanesh Big Society Vs Ashut Titans
This game started out like we all expected, with The Hut delivering a terrifying brutalising to Big Society, willfully ignoring things like “Armour”. To say that Big Society responded in kind would be overstating things, but they were still able to knock a few lumps into the Hut in return.
Despite The Hut living up to form, Big Society were still able to score in the first half thanks their their trademark “Why has a Chaos team got a passing game?” plays but come the full time whistle however the score was tied one-all with Big Society only having 5 players left on the field!
Somehow through herculean effort these 5, then 4, then 3 players managed to fend of the increasingly furious advances of The Hut for a full half, and when the Hut’s ball carrier stumbled over his own two feet in their endzone the Big Society must have known the stage was set for a fairytale finish as by the thinnest of margins the Slaanesh Big Society managed to win the resultant penalty shootout the game went to penalties.
Games don’t come any tighter than this! No doubt The Hut will be sick as a dog etc etc to have lost such a close game after doing so much work.
Blackburners Vs Oxmoor Savages
Oxmoor are still trying to fill the holes in their line-up after their encounter with The Hut, whilst the Blackburners are currently riding high after a pair of comprehensive wins. Under the circumstances, could the Burners pull out a win that nobody could ever have predicted going into the competiti… oh no they’ve fumbled it. Most pundits place the Burners poor performance down to the suspicious placement of a McMurty Brand Probably-Beef Ribwich Stand so close to their dugout as a distracting influence. Even a second half pitch invasion had a lackluster result, with many fans simply taking to the pitch to get their hands on some delicious greasy goodness or get an autograph.
Loss of further players to death and injury puts them in somewhat poor position coming into their game against Myckies next game, and this could be the big chance to score some points that the Wood Elves have been looking for this season. In his postmatch comments, the Team Coach had the following statement “At this point I think we have to consider that our old style of play is unsuitable in making best use of our current lineup”
But is it too late for the Burners to change their ways and start winning more games?
See you later – JoJo
Quick Summary of Week
- 7 games in Quarter Final – The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15
- 19 Touchdowns scored
- 39 Casualties caused (5 resulted in Death)
- 18 Completions made
- 29,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
The Sly Sports Vase Championship 2514/15 – Quarter Final
- Valhallen Vixen\’s 2 (5) – 1 (0) Fairy Wizards Guild (att 19,000)
- VAL: Viktor (x2)
- FWG: Ezra Scariet
- Nordenringen Titans 1 (5) – 5 (0) Carcassonne Province Paladins (att 21,000)
- NTN: Matt \’Hustle\’ Hasselback
- CPP: Cédric le Galant, Guy De Brionne (x4)
- Black Mountain Bloodjaws 1 (3) – 0 (1) Darkfleet Assasins (att 25,000)
- BMB: Korgak the Krazy
The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15 – Quarter Final
- Temper Bay Marauders 1 (4) – 2 (2) Mordheim Comets (att 28,000)
- TBM: Ueghor Ironjaw
- MHC: Orz Blackpelt, Vig Azoek
- Blackburners 1 (1) – 2 (2) Oxmoor Savages (att 28,000)
- BRS: Rankle
- OXS: Kent, Pennington
- Arkhan Black Towers 2 (2) – 0 (3) Monster Mashers (att 22,000)
- ABT: Corpsegrinder (x2)
- Ashut Titans 0 (8) – 1 (3) Slaaneshi Big Society (att 29,000)
- SBS: Izzies Ed\’ard
Obituaries for Week
- Rickard the Raised (Zombie for Arkhan Black Towers): Killed by Nazza of the Monster Mashers. He clearly got mashed!
- Nagat Bitterrack (Linesman for Temper Bay Marauders): Killed by Skaven flith! The Orcs claimed back some blood for their fallen teammate but no deaths.
- Master Makarov (Minotaur for Fairy Wizards Guild): Killed by the Vixen\\\’s Snow Troll. He mooooved on to the afterlife, in a nice field with very tall and green grass.
- Quentin Mclargehuge (Bull Centaur for Blackburners): Killed by a fouling Lord Borak. The Chaos superstar finally causing some damage in the league.
- Falstaff (Journeyman for Oxmoor Savages): Killed by a Hobgoblin (guess which one….) he only played to make up the numbers, another wasted life on the field.
Player Statistics for the (Week )
|1||Ueghor Ironjaw||Blitzer||Temper Bay Marauders||18|
|2||Corpsegrinder||Ghoul||Arkhan Black Towers||14|
|3||Lhakhi Harsh-Foot||Chaos Dwarf Blocker||Ashut Titans||13|
|4||Baschem-Smachem||Bull Centaur||Ashut Titans||11|
|5||Gak Redclaw||Blitzer||Mordheim Comets||10|
|–||Gutwrencher||Ghoul||Arkhan Black Towers||8|
|–||Zhuthark Blood-Nose||Chaos Dwarf Blocker||Ashut Titans||8|
|9||Nick \’The Mangler\’ Stephens||Blitzer||Nordenringen Titans||7|
|–||Hagfang Skullbringer||Black Orc Blocker||Temper Bay Marauders||7|
|1||Ueghor Ironjaw||Blitzer||Temper Bay Marauders||3|
|–||Corpsegrinder||Ghoul||Arkhan Black Towers||3|
|3||Izzies Ed\’ard||Beastman||Slaaneshi Big Society||2|
|–||Garash Rockhead||Blitzer||Temper Bay Marauders||1|
|–||Dirk Hardcheese||Bull Centaur||Blackburners||1|
|–||RK Jowling||Chaos Warrior||Slaaneshi Big Society||1|
|1||Zhuthark Blood-Nose||Chaos Dwarf Blocker||Ashut Titans||4|
|–||Lhakhi Harsh-Foot||Chaos Dwarf Blocker||Ashut Titans||4|
|3||Baschem-Smachem||Bull Centaur||Ashut Titans||3|
|4||Ueghor Ironjaw||Blitzer||Temper Bay Marauders||2|
|–||Fluffy||Minotaur||Slaaneshi Big Society||2|
|–||Prince Ehtar||Mummie||Arkhan Black Towers||2|
|–||Nool the Hook||Line Rat||Mordheim Comets||2|
|–||Blunderbuss Bironas||Thrower||Nordenringen Titans||2|
|1||Morgrat Shadowthrow||Thrower||Temper Bay Marauders||4|
|2||Émile De\’Manning||Thrower||Carcassonne Province Paladins||3|
|–||RK Jowling||Chaos Warrior||Slaaneshi Big Society||1|
|–||Izzies Ed\’ard||Beastman||Slaaneshi Big Society||1|
|–||Shurtrik Floor-Hugger||Hobgoblin||Ashut Titans||1|
|–||Toxaden Skark||Thrower||Mordheim Comets||1|