Season 9 – Cup Week – Upset? What Upset?!

Duration: 20th Nov 2514 – 4th Dec 2514

What about the reports? I’ve done my half of ’em!  Someone else will have to do other the lazy basta… ahh good evening everyone.  Sorry about the lack of match reports but I have been busy.  Hiding under a rock from Nagash?  No not me.  I have been busy… umm doing something else anyway here’s my reports.  Right back to my… ummm… work. HIDE!

Bloodjaws Vs Darkfleet Assassins

The Fleet had something of a crisis this game, where they somehow managed to fail even most simplest of tasks.  Seeing their opponent having such problems the Jaws seized on the opportunity to score in the first half.  The Fleet were never able to overcome the ‘Jaw’s defensive line-up and finished the game with no touchdowns, a rare occurance for an elf team.

 

This game leaves us with several questions to answer: (1) Will the Paladins have the “Garlic bulbs” to beat the Bloodjaws in the next round? (2) Will the Dark Elves recover from this stunning lack of form?  And most important of all, (3) What did the ‘Jaws slip into the Fleets waterbottles that day and where can we all get some?

 

 

Slaanesh Big Society Vs Ashut Titans

This game started out like we all expected, with The Hut delivering a terrifying brutalising to Big Society, willfully ignoring things like “Armour”. To say that Big Society responded in kind would be overstating things, but they were still able to knock a few lumps into the Hut in return.

 

Despite The Hut living up to form, Big Society were still able to score in the first half thanks their their trademark “Why has a Chaos team got a passing game?” plays but come the full time whistle however the score was tied one-all with Big Society only having 5 players left on the field!

 

Somehow through herculean effort these 5, then 4, then 3 players managed to fend of the increasingly furious advances of The Hut for a full half, and when the Hut’s ball carrier stumbled over his own two feet in their endzone the Big Society must have known the stage was set for a fairytale finish as by the thinnest of margins the Slaanesh Big Society managed to win the resultant penalty shootout the game went to penalties.

 

Games don’t come any tighter than this! No doubt The Hut will be sick as a dog etc etc to have lost such a close game after doing so much work.

 

 

Blackburners Vs Oxmoor Savages

Oxmoor are still trying to fill the holes in their line-up after their encounter with The Hut, whilst the Blackburners are currently riding high after a pair of comprehensive wins.  Under the circumstances, could the Burners pull out a win that nobody could ever have predicted going into the competiti… oh no they’ve fumbled it.  Most pundits place the Burners poor performance down to the suspicious placement of a McMurty Brand Probably-Beef Ribwich Stand so close to their dugout as a distracting influence. Even a second half pitch invasion had a lackluster result, with many fans simply taking to the pitch to get their hands on some delicious greasy goodness or get an autograph.

 

Loss of further players to death and injury puts them in somewhat poor position coming into their game against Myckies next game, and this could be the big chance to score some points that the Wood Elves have been looking for this season.  In his postmatch comments, the Team Coach had the following statement “At this point I think we have to consider that our old style of play is unsuitable in making best use of our current lineup”

 

But is it too late for the Burners to change their ways and start winning more games?

 

See you later – JoJo

Quick Summary of Week

  • 7 games in Quarter Final – The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15
  • 19 Touchdowns scored
  • 39 Casualties caused (5 resulted in Death)
  • 18 Completions made
  • 29,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Sly Sports Vase Championship 2514/15 – Quarter Final

The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15 – Quarter Final

Obituaries for Week

Player Statistics for the (Week )

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Ueghor Ironjaw Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 18
2 Corpsegrinder Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 14
3 Lhakhi Harsh-Foot Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 13
4 Baschem-Smachem Bull Centaur Ashut Titans 11
5 Gak Redclaw Blitzer Mordheim Comets 10
6 Kent Beastman Oxmoor Savages 8
Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 8
Zhuthark Blood-Nose Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 8
9 Nick \’The Mangler\’ Stephens Blitzer Nordenringen Titans 7
Hagfang Skullbringer Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 7

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Ueghor Ironjaw Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 3
Corpsegrinder Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 3
3 Izzies Ed\’ard Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 2
4 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Rankle Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
Garash Rockhead Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 1
Mr Fumbles Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
Dirk Hardcheese Bull Centaur Blackburners 1
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Doggy Werewolf Monster Mashers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Zhuthark Blood-Nose Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 4
Lhakhi Harsh-Foot Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 4
3 Baschem-Smachem Bull Centaur Ashut Titans 3
4 Ueghor Ironjaw Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 2
Fluffy Minotaur Slaaneshi Big Society 2
Prince Ehtar Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 2
Nool the Hook Line Rat Mordheim Comets 2
Blunderbuss Bironas Thrower Nordenringen Titans 2
9 Thorhilder Linesman Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 4
2 Émile De\’Manning Thrower Carcassonne Province Paladins 3
3 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Enrica Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Buggerit Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Izzies Ed\’ard Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Pennington Beastman Oxmoor Savages 1
Shurtrik Floor-Hugger Hobgoblin Ashut Titans 1
Toxaden Skark Thrower Mordheim Comets 1

Start a Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *