TNN TAKEOVER! Shigglez predicts the league

Shigglez ‘ere with a preevyoo ov da new HDWSBBBBBL seeson.

I’z been skoolin over da last few seesons so can write more betta than before, so getz on da big pages instead of on dat eejit Goblin rag.

 

New World Conference

 

Carcassonne Province Paladins

These humies have a couple of good catchers an a good frower.  Not much else to da teem though, and only a bunch of sissies does frowin’ it anyway.  Expect a solid mid-table finish.

 

Dark Wings of Fury

A brean new emo teem, wiv a rookie coach? Its gunna be a difficult seeson.  Everywun knows dat dark elves iz easy-mode in dis game, but the inducements they get ain’t up to much. Possible Sheeld winnerz.

 

Drakwald Defilers

Dis monstrous chaos teem are eternal runners-up… always seem to finish 2nd in whatever they enter.  *insert Mum joke here* In Gorsquakor they have wun of da leeg’s all-time superstars, and dey is da most vicious teem in leeg history (though if dem big ogres had played more than 9 games it’d be closer). Expect them to be finishing 2nd somewhere or uvva.

 

Middenhein Manhunters

Ahh, da Janitor.  Everywun loves him. Shame he can’t coach a teem for nowt. Some very good players on da teem, but will be let down by da 3 rookies.  Would be in da Sheeld if not fer all da new teems.

 

Suderholm Snow Leopards

A brand new Norse teem.  They’s got 11 players with mostly no armour, so is gunna go skish a lot. But they all haz beerds, dey is cheep, and dey can get some nice cheep stars n weaponz n stuff, so dey could make it somewhere in da middle of da table.  Or maybe dey won’t.

 

Teotigua Predators

All dem big lizards – and I meen ALL of dem – knows how to block. Even some of dem little wuns too!  Plus dey’s got a mini gutter runner. The only way dey’s not gunna do well is if some lizzies go skwish… 2 of da little wuns is newbies and dem big ones is slow to learn new stuff.

 

The Asgard Marauders

Forma Conference runners-up, got a solid core of players but da rest of da teem is a bit light.  Beerdy ****s beet my Gitz in da playoffs last time we woz ‘ere… we wants some revenge. But we’z not in dis division, so we ain’t gettin’ it…

 

The Loren Rangers

da big wuns. Even tho dey sakked a couple of legends dey still have 2nd and 3rd highest SPP players of all da leeg ever.  Couple of rookies, but everyone else gets block ‘n’ dodge.  But, they also all go skwish nice n easy, so dere’s hope for everywun else.

 

Predicted standings:

Superbowl Playoffs:

NWC Champs: Drakwalk Defilers

Teotigua Predators

Loren Rangers

HDWSBBL League Cup:

Carcassonne Province Paladins

Asgard Marauders

Middenhein Manhunters

The Shield:

Dark Wings of Fury

Suderholm Snow Leopards

 

Old World Conference

 

Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez

da leeg’s numba wun gobbo teem, an’ former NAFC Stunty championz. Which makes us da best stunty teem in all da world.  We’z guna struggle dis seeson tho… I’z too busy wiv cushy jobs like dis to care about coaching, da trollz is lookin’ hungry, and da gobboz hav not been training. Plus da leeg knows all about us now… we’z need to learn sum new taktiks (or maybe jus’ sum taktiks) else we’z Sheeld-bound. If we gets there, tho, we’s winnin’ it!

 

Lustrian Snake Queens

Cup Winnerz. Champioship runners-up. These ladies is a good all-round teem, no mega-starz but no mega-weeknesses eitha. Dey’s getting into da big playoffs for sure.

 

Morgs Raiders

Brand new teem of deddsies, rookie coach. Undeads is pretty eesy to coach tho, but inducements isn’t good, not shore they’ll be doing well in dere rookie seeson.

 

Slaaneshi Big Society

Failed to make da Sheeld in their first year. Just qualified for the 2nd year, but lost in the final.  Will this be their year?  Will anyone get dere mitts on Fluffy, da indestructible Cow slayer?

 

Tail Slammers

2nd oldest teem in da leeg, and only teem ever to win their own Sheeld trophy.  Wiv “lejend” Arcani Spark zombified (good riddance), dere’s no current stars on da teem, tho maybe wun of da 15 clones currently playing, or lined up to replace dead rats, can step up.

 

Talos Tobacconists

Former Superbowl runners-up.  Biggest teem in da leeg.  Only weak link to da teem is only having 12 players… most of them have a hatful of skills. Tho their big cow will need to watch out fer Fluffy wen dey play da Big Sokkz.

 

The Innsmouth Shadows

Sum superstarz on da teem, everywun has block. Those 2 doggiez look nice… would look nicer as rugs in my hut tho.  Only running 11 playas, and wun wite, may cost dem in da long run.

 

Universal Horrors

Former Superbowl runners-up (dat’s 3 for dis Conference!). And da coach is da current Superbowl champ too.  Da Dok tendz to start seesons slowly den get on a good run ready for playoffs, expect dees deddsies to do da same.  Solid core of 13 playaz; no stand-out starz just yet but expect some (da wolves) to emerge.

 

Predicted standings:

 

Superbowl Playoffs:

OWC Champs: Talos Tobacconists

Universal Horrors

Lustrian Snake Queens

HDWSBBL League Cup:

Tail Slammers

The Innsmouth Shadows

Slaaneshi Big Society

The Shield:

Morgs Raiders

Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez

 

One comment

  1. Oi you. You HAD your chance to turn those dogs into rugs, that maniac with a Chainsaw tried what? Three? Four times? The best he managed was a knockout, and that Wizard did no better either.

    Less said about your bombadier the better I think we can both agree.

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