Posted on June 19, 2019
- Duration: 13th Jun 2519 – 19th Jun 2519
- Competition(s): Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519
- Season: 2519/20 Season
So, due to popular demand (or so we told him) we have managed, with no expense spared (or spent) to contract esteemed HDWSBBL luminary, Jojo Curwen for match reports for the ongoing Chanelf Championship. Although, we must stress that he HASN’T been told that this is the actual name of the competition and we must ask all of our staff and audience not to tell him by any means.
I’ll be honest, I missed most of this one, but I caught the highlights later on. This league has a weird tendency for stunties to do better than the national statistics would expect. Sometimes a Halfling team surprises all with it’s resiliency and ability to score.
This was not one of those games.
Amazon teams are usually known for their careful positioning and finesse, but when your opponents are Halflings all that can go out of the window, and boy did it here. Staggering out of the first half with only six fieldable players and four at the final whistle. It makes the Thunderers 2-0 result frankly look merciful. A hard lesson for the Bridgetown Bantams, but if you don’t give them beatings like this, they’ll never learn.
[we have since informed him that Halflings are in fact a seperate humanoid race, and not, as he apparently has been thinking for the last three centuries “small human children who should know better”]
A game of two very differing styles clashing together, the stolid meticulous dwarf form, versus the dynamic and aggressive Slaan style. But no amount of amphibian acrobatics could prevent the Dwarves from grinding down the field and equalising on the Slaan after their early TD in the first half.
After resetting the clock, the second half saw textbook Dwarf play throughout, as a result most of the crowd were already asleep when a half-hearted pitch invasion was called. Only the Dreadnaut fans turned up, pounding flat a few of the frogs. The game ended in a stolid 2-1 win for the Dwarves, sadly marred by accusations of collusion between the Referee and Greenskeepers in allowing them to continue tending the pitch even after a touchdown had been scored by the home team.
The Greenskeepers of the Barak Varr Anchorhead Stadium deny all accusations, and made a strongly worded statement telling us that we could all “F*ck off.”
Not the best of starts for this new team, sponsored by the well known Pastarfarians, as a curiously bad start (even for goblins) will have left nobody apart from the Coaches Far Eastern Betting Syndicate happy. The Vale Stags were looking for a good head start in this competition, and they certainly got it here. Two TD’s ahead in the first half, they continued in the same vein for the rest of the game. But the goblins DID show signs of life with a couple of thrown teammate touchdowns facilitated by their Doom Diver, who is sure to make a big impact as the competition continues. A 5-2 result in typical Elvish fashion.
The Rainmakers are still feeling their way in the game clearly, as anyone who finds themselves 1-0 down against Halflings in the first half really does need to take a good hard look at themselves. But most of all Slaan, there really shouldn’t be anything a Halfling team can do to stop a Slaan team from scoring but it seems they worked it out in the end with a 1-1 draw. The Gardeners are ecstatic at this result, as of course a draw counts as a win for stunties.
Quick Summary of Week 1
- 5 games in Central Division – Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519
- 15 Touchdowns scored
- 19 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
- 10 Completions made
- 27,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 1
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519 – Central Division
- Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2 (1) – 1 (1) The Tlaqua Spacehoppers (att 27,000)
- TSH: Luke Flystalker
- BVD: Grung Fodrinsson (x2)
- Gaen Vale Stags 5 (3) – 2 (1) Pastafarian Juniaz (att 18,000)
- GVS: Mhaenal Elamice (x2), Durlan Sylbalar, Zilyana Torjeon, Ryo Holazorwyn
- PAJ: Ozwold (x2)
- Themysciran Thunderers 2 (3) – 0 (1) Bridgetown Bantams (att 10,000)
- TTS: Abroulete, Juscyra
- Norsca Wild Fire 0 (1) – 1 (3) The Bloated Bile Blitzers (att 9,000)
- BBB: Pustule Picker
- Hobbiton Gardeners 1 (2) – 1 (3) Akumal City Rainmakers (att 11,000)
- HBG: Karla Von Kill
- ACR: Chacaerulea
Obituaries for Week 1
- Halvdan Berg (Norse Linesman for Norsca Wild Fire): Killed and turned into a Rotter!
- Nahuatl (Linefrog for Akumal City Rainmakers): Killed!!!
- Da Powda Monkee (Goblin for Pastafarian Juniaz ): Killed!!!
Standings (After First Round)
|Gaen Vale Stags||1||1||0||0||5||2||3||3||1||2||30|
|The Bloated Bile Blitzers||1||1||0||0||1||0||1||3||1||2||30|
|Barack Varr Dreadnauts||1||1||0||0||2||1||1||1||1||0||30|
|Akumal City Rainmakers||1||0||1||0||1||1||0||3||2||1||10|
|The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||1||0||0||1||1||2||-1||1||1||0||0|
|Norsca Wild Fire||1||0||0||1||0||1||-1||1||3||-2||0|
Player Statistics for the (Week 1)
|1||Chacaerulea||Linefrog||Akumal City Rainmakers||10|
|2||Snodule Scuzzball||Rotspawn||The Bloated Bile Blitzers||7|
|3||Grung Fodrinsson||Runner||Barack Varr Dreadnauts||6|
|–||Mhaenal Elamice||Blitzer||Gaen Vale Stags||6|
|–||Ozwold||Doom Diver||Pastafarian Juniaz||6|
|–||Huani||Catcher||Akumal City Rainmakers||6|
|7||Bufo Fett||Linefrog||The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||5|
|–||Matthewn \\\”Chopper\\\” Harris||Troll Slayer||Barack Varr Dreadnauts||5|
|–||Bialaer Pavyre||Linesman||Gaen Vale Stags||5|
|–||Da Kwartamasta||Goblin||Pastafarian Juniaz||5|
|1||Grung Fodrinsson||Runner||Barack Varr Dreadnauts||2|
|–||Mhaenal Elamice||Blitzer||Gaen Vale Stags||2|
|–||Ozwold||Doom Diver||Pastafarian Juniaz||2|
|4||Chacaerulea||Linefrog||Akumal City Rainmakers||1|
|–||Luke Flystalker||Catcher||The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||1|
|–||Pustule Picker||Pestigor||The Bloated Bile Blitzers||1|
|–||Durlan Sylbalar||Blitzer||Gaen Vale Stags||1|
|–||Zilyana Torjeon||Catcher||Gaen Vale Stags||1|
|–||Ryo Holazorwyn||Catcher||Gaen Vale Stags||1|
|–||Huani||Catcher||Akumal City Rainmakers||2|
|3||Chacaerulea||Linefrog||Akumal City Rainmakers||1|
|–||L. Croakribbittson||Linefrog||The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||1|
|–||Angus \\\”Lucky\\\” Loriccson||Deathroller||Barack Varr Dreadnauts||1|
|–||Billy Bad-Breath||Bloater||The Bloated Bile Blitzers||1|
|–||Snodule Scuzzball||Rotspawn||The Bloated Bile Blitzers||1|
|–||Terminal Typhoid||Rotter||The Bloated Bile Blitzers||1|
|–||Airdan Perra||Linesman||Gaen Vale Stags||1|
|–||Galan Kezgella||Linesman||Gaen Vale Stags||1|
|1||Leaper Organa||Catcher||The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||3|
|2||Andrathatm Eilfina||Thrower||Gaen Vale Stags||2|
|–||Huani||Catcher||Akumal City Rainmakers||2|
|4||Jar Jar Skinks||Catcher||The Tlaqua Spacehoppers||1|
|–||Itotia||Catcher||Akumal City Rainmakers||1|
This entry was posted in Challenge Cup, JoJo Reports, League News, Results, Season 14, Summary, Team News, Warzone and tagged Round 1. It mentions Akumal City Rainmakers, The Bloated Bile Blitzers, Hobbiton Gardeners, Bridgetown Bantams, Barack Varr Dreadnauts, Gaen Vale Stags, Pastafarian Juniaz, The Tlaqua Spacehoppers, Themysciran Thunderers, Norsca Wild Fire in the Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519. <Permalink>.