Causing Havoc in the old world since 2506

Season 14 – Week 1 – All Kicking Off!

So, due to popular demand (or so we told him) we have managed, with no expense spared (or spent) to contract esteemed HDWSBBL luminary, Jojo Curwen for match reports for the ongoing Chanelf Championship. Although, we must stress that he HASN’T been told that this is the actual name of the competition and we must ask all of our staff and audience not to tell him by any means.

Themysciran Thunderers Vs Bridgetown Bantams

I’ll be honest, I missed most of this one, but I caught the highlights later on. This league has a weird tendency for stunties to do better than the national statistics would expect. Sometimes a Halfling team surprises all with it’s resiliency and ability to score.

This was not one of those games.

Amazon teams are usually known for their careful positioning and finesse, but when your opponents are Halflings all that can go out of the window, and boy did it here. Staggering out of the first half with only six fieldable players and four at the final whistle. It makes the Thunderers 2-0 result frankly look merciful. A hard lesson for the Bridgetown Bantams, but if you don’t give them beatings like this, they’ll never learn.

[we have since informed him that Halflings are in fact a seperate humanoid race, and not, as he apparently has been thinking for the last three centuries “small human children who should know better”]

Barack Varr Dreadnauts Vs Tlaqua Spacehoppers

A game of two very differing styles clashing together, the stolid meticulous dwarf form, versus the dynamic and aggressive Slaan style. But no amount of amphibian acrobatics could prevent the Dwarves from grinding down the field and equalising on the Slaan after their early TD in the first half.

After resetting the clock, the second half saw textbook Dwarf play throughout, as a result most of the crowd were already asleep when a half-hearted pitch invasion was called. Only the Dreadnaut fans turned up, pounding flat a few of the frogs. The game ended in a stolid 2-1 win for the Dwarves, sadly marred by accusations of collusion between the Referee and Greenskeepers in allowing them to continue tending the pitch even after a touchdown had been scored by the home team.

The Greenskeepers of the Barak Varr Anchorhead Stadium deny all accusations, and made a strongly worded statement telling us that we could all “F*ck off.”

Gaen Vale Stags Vs Pastafarian Juniaz

Not the best of starts for this new team, sponsored by the well known Pastarfarians, as a curiously bad start (even for goblins) will have left nobody apart from the Coaches Far Eastern Betting Syndicate happy. The Vale Stags were looking for a good head start in this competition, and they certainly got it here. Two TD’s ahead in the first half, they continued in the same vein for the rest of the game. But the goblins DID show signs of life with a couple of thrown teammate touchdowns facilitated by their Doom Diver, who is sure to make a big impact as the competition continues. A 5-2 result in typical Elvish fashion.

Hobbiton Gardeners Vs Akumal City Rainmakers

The Rainmakers are still feeling their way in the game clearly, as anyone who finds themselves 1-0 down against Halflings in the first half really does need to take a good hard look at themselves. But most of all Slaan, there really shouldn’t be anything a Halfling team can do to stop a Slaan team from scoring but it seems they worked it out in the end with a 1-1 draw. The Gardeners are ecstatic at this result, as of course a draw counts as a win for stunties.

Norsca Wild Fire Vs The Bloated Bile Blitzers

Nurgle haven’t done too well in this league, but perhaps the Blitzers will be the team to buck the trend. The end of the first half had things looking promising, and in the second half Wild-Fire couldn’t get the equalizer and tie the match. The Blitzers seemed very happy with their performance and are looking on towards bigger things. As always though, time will tell.

Quick Summary of Week 1

  • 5 games in Central Division – Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519
  • 15 Touchdowns scored
  • 19 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 10 Completions made
  • 27,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 1

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Chanelf Challenge Cup 2519 – Central Division

Obituaries for Week 1

Standings (After First Round)

Gaen Vale Stags 1 1 0 0 5 2 3 3 1 2 30
Themysciran Thunderers 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3 1 2 30
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 1 2 30
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 1 1 0 30
Akumal City Rainmakers 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 3 2 1 10
Hobbiton Gardeners 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 2 3 -1 10
The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 1 1 0 0
Norsca Wild Fire 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 1 3 -2 0
Bridgetown Bantams 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 1 3 -2 0
Pastafarian Juniaz 1 0 0 1 2 5 -3 1 3 -2 0

Player Statistics for the (Week 1)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Chacaerulea Linefrog Akumal City Rainmakers 10
2 Snodule Scuzzball Rotspawn The Bloated Bile Blitzers 7
3 Grung Fodrinsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 6
Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 6
Ozwold Doom Diver Pastafarian Juniaz 6
Huani Catcher Akumal City Rainmakers 6
7 Bufo Fett Linefrog The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 5
Matthewn \\\”Chopper\\\” Harris Troll Slayer Barack Varr Dreadnauts 5
Bialaer Pavyre Linesman Gaen Vale Stags 5
Da Kwartamasta Goblin Pastafarian Juniaz 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Grung Fodrinsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2
Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 2
Ozwold Doom Diver Pastafarian Juniaz 2
4 Chacaerulea Linefrog Akumal City Rainmakers 1
Luke Flystalker Catcher The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 1
Pustule Picker Pestigor The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Durlan Sylbalar Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Psionia Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 2
Huani Catcher Akumal City Rainmakers 2
3 Chacaerulea Linefrog Akumal City Rainmakers 1
L. Croakribbittson Linefrog The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 1
Angus \\\”Lucky\\\” Loriccson Deathroller Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1
Billy Bad-Breath Bloater The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Snodule Scuzzball Rotspawn The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Terminal Typhoid Rotter The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Airdan Perra Linesman Gaen Vale Stags 1
Galan Kezgella Linesman Gaen Vale Stags 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Leaper Organa Catcher The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 3
2 Andrathatm Eilfina Thrower Gaen Vale Stags 2
Huani Catcher Akumal City Rainmakers 2
4 Jar Jar Skinks Catcher The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 1
Juscyra Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1
Itotia Catcher Akumal City Rainmakers 1

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HDWSBBL - Did You Know

You Live, Die, and Live Again!

The Drakewald Deadheads love recuriting new players, epecially if they play for the opposing team. In the 2507/08 Pitrat cup the Deadheads played the Strickland Slammers in the 1st round. During the replay the Slammers lineman Thomas Eckhart was killed during a drive. Fans were in tears after his death so the head coach of the Deadheads, always looking for a bargain, ressurected him and he joined the team as a zombie. Eckhart goes down in HDWSBBL history as the first player to be killed and then risen from the dead to join a team.

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