Season 14 – Week 2 – GOAT No More!?
Posted on October 9, 2019
- Duration: 12th Sep 2519 – 18th Sep 2519
- Competition(s): Winter Series 2519/20
- Season: 2519/20 Season
What? I’m up! I’m up! Fine! Anyway, match reports… match reports… ah! Here they are [throws stack of papers at reporter]
North Division
The Bloated Bile Blitzers (2) 1 vs 1 (0) Norsca Wild Fire
A poor kick-off from the Bile Blitzers saw them 1-0 down by the second turn and put them on the defensive in the first half. But after the half-time break the Blitzers rallied back, scoring a volley of injuries against their lightly armoured northern opponents. I mean, not Touchdowns, but this is the Bile Blitzers, they don’t go into that sort of guache thinking. Well, apart from that one Pestigor who keeps scoring when the rest of them are content to keep pounding on their opponents.
He’s a weird one he is.
Beards of Zeus (1) 1 vs 0 (0) Barack Varr Dreadnauts
The DN’s coach warned us this would happen. The DN’s had been getting cocky in the aftermath of their crushing 4-0 win in the Summer League and this was the inevitable result. Coming up against a staunch traditional playing Dwarf team (IE: one that cheats like a goblin team but with better armour) their ill-advised notions of “passing” “running” and “not fouling” soon caused them to come a cropper.
Flint Churnblade was fouling left and right, the Zeus’s Doomroller was an unholy nightmare to deal with, and Boomer Eziasson was tossing bombs right and left, although he needs to throw a little higher methinks as twice his opponent managed to grab the explosives and return them to him. It was such a filthy first half from the Beards that by the end of it, the Refs flat out said that they’d used up all of their bribery funds in that first half, and there wasn’t enough to make them look the other way over all of their obvious cheating and that it was the Dreadnaughts turn to make blatant breaches of the fair-play booklet.
Nevertheless, in the second half they couldn’t quite get the distance they needed, and horror of horrors they broke their own cage in an attempt to score and quite rightly the Beards punished them, got the ball, and scored instead.
Hopefully this sobering experience for the DN’s will see them going back to their more traditional and tried and tested game plans.
South Division
Har Ganeth Vipers (0) 1 vs 3 (1) Liz ‘n’ Let Die
Liz and Let Die showed a much better performance compared to their last game against fellow scalies Lustria Locomotiv. This was their opponents first game of the season and I guess the Lizzies wanted to make sure they got a ‘warm’ welcome. The elves took a light drubbing in the first half, but sadly nothing permanent. They then rallied back and turned the second half into a back and forth scoring bonanza but LnLD managed to ride the tiger and come out on top.
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC (1) 2 vs 0 (0) Themysciran Thunderers
It’s was a good round for Chainsaw weilding maniacs this week, with Wilhelm Chaney flailing around in this game, murdering and savaging and Flint Churnblade over in the Dreadnaut Vs Beards game hacking and fouling everywhere. The Thunderers struggled this game to break armour and paid for it as Locomotiv continued their hot streak and rampaged to a resounding win.
Quick Summary of Week 2
- 2 games in North Division – Winter Series 2519/20
- 2 games in South Division – Winter Series 2519/20
- 11 Touchdowns scored
- 8 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
- 10 Completions made
- 1 Interception made
- 22,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 2
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
Winter Series 2519/20 – North Division
- Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2 (0) – 0 (2) The Bloated Bile Blitzers (att 22,000)
- BVD: Morag Rhunlikhelsson (x2)
- Beards of Zeus 1 (3) – 3 (0) Gaen Vale Stags (att 18,000)
- GVS: Haldir Qiydark, Zilyana Torjeon, Ryo Holazorwyn
- BOZ: Brick Tamland
Winter Series 2519/20 – South Division
- Liz \’n\’ Let Die 0 (0) – 2 (1) Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC (att 12,000)
- LVL: Bloxa, Paxrimani
- DC Marvels 0 (0) – 3 (2) Themysciran Thunderers (att 19,000)
- TTS: Hippocita (x3)
Obituaries for Week 2
- Arun Thestina (Linesman for Gaen Vale Stags): Killed by an explosive bomb!
- Sudryal (Journeyman for Gaen Vale Stags): Killed! He was only in the team to fill the numbers up!
League Standings for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 2)
North Division
| Team | Pld | W | D | L | TF | TA | TD | CF | CA | CD | PTS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gaen Vale Stags | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 3 |
| Barack Varr Dreadnauts | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 3 |
| Beards of Zeus | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | -1 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 3 |
| Norsca Wild Fire | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 1 |
| The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 1 |
South Division
| Team | Pld | W | D | L | TF | TA | TD | CF | CA | CD | PTS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 6 |
| Themysciran Thunderers | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| Liz \’n\’ Let Die | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
| Har Ganeth Vipers | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 0 |
| DC Marvels | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 0 |
Player Statistics for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 2)
Best Players
| # | Player | Position | Team | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hippocita | Catcher | Themysciran Thunderers | 12 |
| 2 | Paxrimani | Skink Runner | Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 8 |
| 3 | Jaws | Kroxigor | Liz \’n\’ Let Die | 7 |
| – | Ed Harken | Blocker | Beards of Zeus | 7 |
| 5 | Morag Rhunlikhelsson | Runner | Barack Varr Dreadnauts | 6 |
| – | Bloxa | Saurus Blocker | Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 6 |
| 7 | Grung Fodrinsson | Runner | Barack Varr Dreadnauts | 5 |
| – | Hugen Slivershield | Blocker | Barack Varr Dreadnauts | 5 |
| – | Crumble Crud | Rotter | The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 5 |
| – | Mucus Membrane | Rotter | The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 5 |
Top Scorers
| # | Player | Position | Team | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hippocita | Catcher | Themysciran Thunderers | 3 |
| 2 | Morag Rhunlikhelsson | Runner | Barack Varr Dreadnauts | 2 |
| – | Bloxa | Saurus Blocker | Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 2 |
| 4 | Pustule Picker | Pestigor | The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 1 |
| – | Haldir Qiydark | Catcher | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Zilyana Torjeon | Catcher | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Ryo Holazorwyn | Catcher | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Marcus Hafsten | Ulfwerner | Norsca Wild Fire | 1 |
| – | Nick Nack | Skink Runner | Liz \’n\’ Let Die | 1 |
| – | Mr Kidd | Skink Runner | Liz \’n\’ Let Die | 1 |
Most Vicious
| # | Player | Position | Team | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Snodule Scuzzball | Rotspawn | The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 2 |
| 2 | Neidadora | Lineswoman | Themysciran Thunderers | 1 |
| – | Isnia | Lineswoman | Themysciran Thunderers | 1 |
| – | Pestilent Pecker | Pestigor | The Bloated Bile Blitzers | 1 |
| – | Jaws | Kroxigor | Liz \’n\’ Let Die | 1 |
| – | Brut | Saurus Blocker | Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 1 |
| – | Krit | Saurus Blocker | Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC | 1 |
| – | Champ Kind | Blocker | Beards of Zeus | 1 |
| – | Brick Tamland | Blitzer | Beards of Zeus | 1 |
| – | Ed Harken | Blocker | Beards of Zeus | 1 |
Top Passers
| # | Player | Position | Team | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Andrathatm Eilfina | Thrower | Gaen Vale Stags | 2 |
| – | Ron Burgundy | Runner | Beards of Zeus | 2 |
| 3 | Mhaenal Elamice | Blitzer | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Zilyana Torjeon | Catcher | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Ryo Holazorwyn | Catcher | Gaen Vale Stags | 1 |
| – | Abroulete | Thrower | Themysciran Thunderers | 1 |
| – | Hippocita | Catcher | Themysciran Thunderers | 1 |
| – | Cam Hicks | Catcher | DC Marvels | 1 |
| – | Elvectro | Blitzer | DC Marvels | 1 |
Top Interceptors
| # | Player | Position | Team | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hippocita | Catcher | Themysciran Thunderers | 1 |
This entry was posted in JoJo Reports, League News, Results, Season 14, Summary, Warzone, World Series and tagged Summary. It mentions Norsca Wild Fire, The Bloated Bile Blitzers, Beards of Zeus, Barack Varr Dreadnauts, Har Ganeth Vipers, Liz 'n' Let Die, Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC, Themysciran Thunderers in the Winter Series 2519/20. <Permalink>.
