Category: Bloodweiser XI

Bloodweiser XI 2515/16

Hello once again Blood Bowlers of the HDWSBBL,

 

As the season has come to the close it has fallen to me to pick the best XI players to make the team of  2515/16.  This season has again been a wonderful season 197 touchdowns scored, 116 completions thrown and 260 casualties caused including 31 deaths! So who has made the list and can claim to be a “Bloodweiser pro-team member 2515/16”.

 

Blockers/Line of Scrimmage

  • Festus “The Pestitant”, Drakwald Defilers: This player has been a stalwart of the HDWSBBL for years now.  An absolute destroyer of players with 9 casualties this season he’s going to hit hit hit and be an unmovable force on that front line.
  • Asgoth “The Furious”, Drakwald Defilers: What’s better than one killer Chaos Warrior? Well it’s two Killer Chaos Warriors and this one actually caused one death this season in his 9 casualties!
  • Rumple Pigskin, Morgs Raiders: A Mummie who stands in the middle of the warriors and smacks the living hell out of opposition?  Yes please!  A rookie who matched the Star players from the Defilers and a very very worthy addition to this XI players.

 

Blitzers

  • Fenrir Canus, Universal Horrors:  Broke the record for most casualties in a match, caused the most casualties this season with 11 and caught the pass to score the winning touchdown in the Superbowl! What more do you want from a blitzer? Make this boy the team’s captain!
  • Selene Viperidae, Lustrian Snake Queens: Returning veteran girl with a lot of punch.  7 of them to be exactly and a TD to her name.  Strong, packs a punch and can tackle. Sign her up immediately.
  • Moist Von Lipwig, Middenheim Manhunters: A legend in this league and on his return he didn’t disappoint being the top scoring blitzer in the league.  Scored 5 and can pass a bit as well this super strong and super agile blitzer was only bested by the mighty Oberwald himself.  How ironic that the fans who loved him so much killed him.

Catchers/Runners

  • Elesser Everlong, The Loren Rangers: It wouldn’t be a Bloodweiser XI without an Everlong in the ranks would it.  The best player of the season – period 9 TDs, 1 completion and 2 MVP awards in 8 games shows this HDWSBBL legend still has it where it counts.  Top player in a top team.
  • Guy De Brionne, Carcassonne Province Paladins: Joint top scorer this season also scoring 9 TDs in only his second season.  Super quick and solid against opponents he is a brand new Star in the HDWSBBL.  Long may it continue for the young Paladin.
  • Graklur-Kal, Drakwald Defilers: Wait, another player who scored 9 TDs in 9 games this season? Oh yes and he also caused 2 casualties.  This super agile beastman is excellent running with the ball, helping his team mates and removing players from the pitch.  He also catches the ball with consummate ease.
  • Kimo, Teotigua Predators: 7 TDs in 8 games, 1 completion (not bad for a short player) and 3 MVP awards made him the second most valuable player this season.  Quick, super agile leaper who scores for fun.  He has to be in there even if he has been injured in recent matches.  A HDWSBBL superstar!

 

Throwers

  • Lobsang Ludd, Middenheim Manhunters: This space was always going to be hotly contested but in the end only one man stood up, walked in and snatched it from the pretenders to the crown.  Lobsang threw an amazing 17 completions in 8 games to show he is top dog when it comes to getting the ball down field quick.

 

 Notable Mentions/Subs

  • Anklebiter, Universal Horrors:  Came into his own in the 2515/16 season but when you’re up against 3 legends of HDWSBBL history and a 2nd season wonder any one will find it hard to break into the starting line up.
  • Hohepa, Teotigua Predators: Caused a casualty a match on average.  Shame he died against the Manhunters.
  • Arnulf, Suderholm Snow Leopards: Voted the most valuable player 4 times in 9 matches this season.  One to watch for the future in this rookie Norse team.
  • Gobmuncha, Gitz and Shigglez: Not a great year for the returning goblin team but Gbomuncha ended the season with the most kills from every player and both came against the Tail Slammers. Bonus.

 

Congratulations to all the players who made the team.  What a great way to mark 10 seasons of HDWSBBL .

 

I would invite all of you to post below your player of the season and their most memorable moments of the season.  Congratulations again and I look forward to seeing how the teams get on in SEASON XI!

See you pitch-side,

The Doc

GSNN Takeover: ‘ave You Uzed dat Wizard Yet?

Da wizzard…. everywun noes ee’z da best indyoosment dat munny can buy. But not everywun noes da best way to use ‘im.  So I, Shigglez, ‘ed coach of da finest teem of goblinz ever seen in dis leeg, is gunna tell yoo sum seekrettz abowt how…

 

When should I hire dat wizard?

If yoo’z got 150k of cash to spend, an’ yoo’z not coaching gobboz (dey needz it fer uvver fings… ask der refz), den yoo should be hiring a wizzard.  Dere is nuffin else as good yoo’z gunna get fer dat cash.

 

When should I use dat wizard?

Dis wun in’t an eezy kwestshun to arnsa.  If da uvver teem is gonna score an’ yoo can recova da ball wen it goes looose, then use da wizzard.  If yoo’z got a chance to score but dere’s playaz in da way, use da wizzard.  If dere’s a big ol’ bounty on da pitch, like Fluffy da Cow-Killa or dat spawny hobgob cunt Fumbles, den use da wizzard da furst chance yoo get!

 

Whaa’ spell should I get ‘im to cazt?

I bashed sum gobboz togevver an’ did da maffs. A fireball is gunna hit wun of every too playas unda it, da litening bolt is gunna is gunna ‘it moar often unless itz da sooperbowl final an’ yoo really needz it to.  So: da bolt is da wun to go for, unless yoo’z playin’ a bashy teems – dem short beerdy gitz is a good eksampul – an’ yoo can get fiyv or moar of dem under a big fireball.

 

Anything else I should know?

‘Avin’ a wizzard is a big fing in da mind of da uvver coach. ‘Ee won’t wanna bunch ‘is teem up, in case yoo ‘it ‘em wiv a fireball. ‘Ee won’t wanna run forward too kwik ‘cos den yoo can jus’ bolt da ball an’ nikk it bakk.  So don’t always use da wizzard as erly as yoo can… waitin’ a wile may give yoo betta opportoonitiez.  Of cors, yoo don’t wanna wayt so long yoo ferget yoo’z got a wizzard…

Also: despite ‘ow much yoo pleed, da wizzard cannot be used on playas off da pitch. So wen dat spawny hobgob Fumbles HIDEZ IN DA DUGOUT FER MOST OF DA GAME, yoo’z not gunna be able to ‘it ‘im wiv da wizard. Moorz da pity.

Bloodweiser Team of 2515

Good evening sports fans!

 

As one of the last broadcasts from HDWSBBL headquarters I will be reviewing the best players from the 2414/15 season and who has made the Bloodweiser XI for this season.

 

2514/15 has been an amazing season:  92 matches played, 265 touchdowns scored and over 300 casualties caused!  We saw 11 rookie teams and 5 veterans of the past come and try to climb their way to the pinnacle of the HDWSBBL.  This is not a review of team glory though, this is a reminder of individual talent.  To highlight the giddy heights that only few reach I have created a team which could match any in the league and have the right to add “Bloodweiser XI member 2514/15” to their accolades:

 

 Blockers/Line of Scrimmage:

  • Lhakhi Harsh-Foot, Ashut Titans:  16 Casualties in 11 games from this hideous clawed dwarf.  Chaos surely favoured him and didn’t favour anyone he hit!
  • Prince Ehtar, Arkhan Black Towers: Who doesn’t want a mummy who is adept at blocking and help his teammates block?  9 Casualties identifies him as a lynchpin to this or any team.
  • Azhug Eyedrinker, Black Mountain Bloodjaws: 2 deaths in 9 casualties in 15 games.  Voted MVP 3 separate times.  A huge black orc who completes the Bloodwiser XI line of scrimmage – Nuffle help all who faces them.

 

Blitzers:

  • Korgak the Krazy, Black Mountain Bloodjaws: Strong and agile this marvellous blitzer has scored 11 TDs and caused 10 casualties (including 1 death); this has him at the first of the 4 blitzer spots on my team.
  • Pennington, Oxmoor Savages: Another “Killer” player who is exceptionally quick over the ground and strong enough in the blitz to take down the mightiest of players.  He can also pass a bit… bonus!
  • Ueghor Ironjaw, Temper Bay Marauders: An orc from the veteran team who has performed wonderfully this season with 8 TDs and 5 cas.  A great addition to any team and a worthy addition to this Bloodwiser XI.
  • Kaine Soulshredder, Darkfleet Assasins: No one else has had an award named after them this season! Kaine has found infamy and immortality in the HDWSBBL.  You just can’t ignore him when looking at the best blitzers in the league this season.

 

Runners/Catchers:

  • Viktor, Vahallen Vixens: The Vixens had a good season in 2514/15 and the majority of this was down to Viktor performing magic on the pitch.  18.. yes 18 TDs, 1 casualty and 1 completion in 13 matches is just an unbelievable return from the “grandfather” of the league.  If the Vixens ever return they will hope that he never leaves for the halls of Valhalla – The best player in the HDWSBBL this season – he really is “The Daddy”.
  • Gutwrencher, Arkhan Black Towers: The top rookie scorer of the season with 15 TDs Gutwrencher also found some joy as a defender with his opponents unable to shake him off.  A ghoul from the top draw.
  • Mr Fumbles, Blackburners: No the Blackburners did not have a good season but Fumbles is one of the stars of the HDWSBBL.  Unparalleled in his agility and strong in the block he could take a team apart by himself.  Supported by the other players in this team I don’t think many teams could stop him scoring or decimating his opponents!

 

Throwers:

  • Erika; Valhallen Vixens: If you want a ball picked up, secured and passed to hands – Erika is your girl.  No fewer than 28 completions this season makes her the best at what she does.  However her crown could be at risk depending on how some of these rookies develop in the future.

 

Notable Mentions/Subs:

  • Émile De’Manning, Carcassonne Province Paladins:  A rookie with an eye for the pass and can pick out nearly anyone on the pitch.  This kid is good.  Wait for his second season!
  • Ludual Sharpfoot, Darkfleet Assasins:  He didn’t make the first XI as he seems to be a player still in development.  Learn how to block and we’ll talk again in the future.
  • Doggy, Monster Mashers: Werewolves are normally great players in the HDWSBBL and he showed all the promise of his predecessors with a good all-round performance.  Other players just outshone him this season.
  • Fluffy, Slaaneshi Big Society:  Everyone has a favourite “Big-Guy” and this is mine.  He causes chaos and confusion everywhere he goes and is exceptionally good at killing other Minotaurs as The Ox and Barbarr will tell you (we should have told them there’s only room for one Bull in this stud farm!).
  • Ezra Scariet, Fairy Wizards Guild: The best player from the Shield winners.  He scores, he passes, but he doesn’t like playing with anyone else on his team and this was the reason why he was left on the bench this time around.

 

Congratulations to all the players mentioned.  It was a fantastic season.

 

I would invite all of you to post below your player of the season and their most memorable moments of the season.  Congratulations again and I look forward to seeing you all next season for the 10th Anniversary of the HDWSBBL!

 

See you pitch-side,

The Doc