Category: Press Office

Chanelf Challenge Cup Fourth Round Fixtures & Predictions

The final round is upon us and nothing is certain still in this competition. Here are the final round fixtures (don’t forget to keep up to date with the results as they come in on our Twatter feed):

The Tlaqua Spacehoppers vs Bridgetown Bantams

Barack Varr Dreadnauts vs Norsca Wild Fire

Themysciran Thunderers vs The Bloated Bile Blitzers

Akumal City Rainmakers vs Gaen Vale Stags

Hobbiton Gardeners vs Pastafarian Juniaz

And the table is looking hot after round three’s matches:

Barack Varr Dreadnauts 3 3 0 0 4 1 3 5 1 4 90
Norsca Wild Fire 3 2 0 1 5 1 4 6 5 1 60
Themysciran Thunderers 3 2 0 1 4 2 2 7 3 4 60
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 3 2 0 1 2 1 1 4 5 -1 60
Akumal City Rainmakers 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 4 2 2 50
The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 2 7 -5 40
Gaen Vale Stags 3 1 0 2 6 6 0 5 8 -3 30
Bridgetown Bantams 3 1 0 2 1 3 -2 7 4 3 30
Hobbiton Gardeners 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 8 6 2 10
Pastafarian Juniaz 3 0 0 3 2 8 -6 1 8 -7 0

And for the last time lets see what our pundits predict in the final round, over to you for the last time in this competition!

The Tlaqua Spacehoppers vs Bridgetown Bantams

Making a late dash, or should that be ‘leap’ for mid-table mediocrity, both The Bantams and the Spacehoppers are one win a piece. Will it be the free scoring antics of the ‘Hoppers, or will one of the leagues bashiest teams (not bashiest ‘Flings, just bashiest!) claim another slew of victims…?

Skritch’n’Skratch: 1-2 “Dowz stunites is well ard and bashy. Wez fink dey will win!”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-2 “After their match with the gardeners I’ll be totally mashed if the Spacehoppers are mentally and physically ready to face another Halfling team so soon, so the bantams have a radical chance for a win. Having said that, if they are ready then I suspect the space frogs are looking for revenge. One half-dude looks the same as another and unfortunately for the Bantams they do look like the Gardeners….”

Jojo Kerwin: 1-2 “These halflings aren’t going to show mercy now in the last leg of the competition, and they’re not so squeamish about their food to say no to some premium grilled frogs legs either. I reckon they’ll roll over the frogs.”

Lin Greeny: 2-1 “Kan theez slippury space frogs make it two-for-two in their gamz against ‘alflings?  Meeb tink they will mop da floor wif their ‘airy feet.”

Barack Varr Dreadnauts vs Norsca Wild Fire

Can anyone stop the ‘Nauts on their roll, or grind? Will the Wild Fire prove one step too far for the dwarfs, or the final step on the path to lifting the trophy? Front runner vs submarine specialist: it’s all to play for… The ‘Nauts are favourites, but the Wild Fire have their own aspirations of lifting the trophy! 

Skritch’n’Skratch: 1-3 “Hmmm, wez still don like da stunty wunz. Wez pick da norf wunz.”

Altann Octopunch: 1-2 “Block versus block, brah. It’s gonna be a dirty game but those Norse dudes are gonna win.The Dwarves can match the Norscans block but not their speed or craziness. Besides man, I know the Wildfire have been hanging out with Mr. Chaney recently and you all know those sessions end…”

Jojo Kerwin: 1-1 “The wheels are due to come off the Naut’s ride to the top and this could easily be it. 500 grand of inducements are sure to be put to good use by Wildfire and that could be what swings it for them. The DN’s have been rock solid all tournement though so a draw seems reasonable.”

Lin Greeny: 1-3 “If there’z wun team in dis competishun who gotsa chanz ter ‘alt da slow continentul drift o’ da drawf style o’ play, s’godda be da Norse team!”

Themysciran Thunderers vs The Bloated Bile Blitzers

The Thunderers lost out to the ‘Nauts in the last round, but can still lift the trophy if the dwarves slip up… Hoping the Wild Fire will prove to be the proverbial banana that slips their rivals up, they will first have to beat a Blitzers side that has only scored twice, but has also won two games. Both teams have both a shot of still in with a chance of lifting the trophy or to play king maker. A key match in the final round….

Skritch’n’Skratch: 1-1 “Diz is a close wun, an wez fink da smelly wunz will stink up da girly wunz but it wil be a draw”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-1 “Those Amazon babes are looking good and have the skills to keep away from the Blitzer’s players, except possibly the Beast. The foxy blitzers, that’s what they’re called right, will be the crest of the wave that the Thunderers will ride to victory on. Provided they don’t get taken out early. Or in fact after the game, by me! Hopefully they won’t have caught anything from Papa Nurgle and I won’t catch anything from them…”

Jojo Kerwin: 1-0 “Honestly this could go either way, the Bile Blitzers can shut down any attempt at the passing game, but the Thunderers front line are good enough to punch a hole in their line and get through, but if the Blitzers start thinning out the Thunderers numbers (and that number in particular is the #2 with Guard) then it could easily be a different story.”

Lin Greeny: 2-1 “Dem girliss on da ‘Zons team ad bedda per-pare fer da inevitabul visit ter da infectious diseasz departmunt at da locul apovvecary guild afta dis match. As ter oose goin’ ter actualey win…  Mee tink da ‘Zons ab da edge, jus’ so lon’z they try ter avoid actuul fysicul contact wif da infecteded wunz.”

Akumal City Rainmakers vs Gaen Vale Stags

The Rainmakers finally won a match in the last round, but are out of the running despite Coach Hun-zan’s croaking about his undefeated streak. The Stags started well against the Pastafarians but have lost their last two matches. They will clearly be looking to end the season on a high, and take the frustrations out on the Rainmakers. 

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-4 “Da pointy eared wunz wil score lots and lots. Dey wil smash da froggyboyz…”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-3 “The Rainmakers are starting to form into a solid team brah, but dude!, the Stag’s super agile Blitzer and Catcher combo of Elamice and Torjeon are going to be too much for the frogmen to handle. Sorry frog dudes, you are awesome but not Elf awesome, and they in turn are no way near Sea Elf awesome!”

Jojo Kerwin: 2-0 “I reckon the Stags will still have the yips from the last game, although a team with nothing left to lose is always the most dangerous, so who knows what kind of a performance we’ll see from the elves this time around? Lord knows they don’t.”

Lin Greeny: 4-3 “Slippury frogs versus skinnies!  Mee tink dis will be a ‘igh scorin’ game, Possiblee slightlee in da frogs favour due ter their leapin’ ability.”

Hobbiton Gardeners vs Pastafarian Juniaz

The League’s joint bashiest team- yes, The Gardeners!- will take on the team that have taken the most casualties thus far… The Juniaz luck surely has to change, and if their “Speshalists” actually turn up and play, they will be a match for anyone. Who will finish the top stunty team?

Skritch’n’Skratch: 1-2  “Dowz wepunz need ta be less secret and more hitty…! Then they will smash da stunties!”

Altann Octopunch: 2-1 “Little dudes versus little dudes! The Gardeners put everydude on notice in their last match causing a wipe out of half of their opponents players and showing they are not to be overlooked (not that you can help but do that *snigger*). However the other coaches keep rumours afloat that the green little dudes are going to blow up on some poor team real soon. Maybe the Gardeners will get a taste of their own soda pop, but I don’t think it will be against the Junior Rastas

Jojo Kerwin: 0-2 “I think the Jr’s are due. I mean surely, sooner or later, that fanatic is going to do SOMETHING right?

Lin Greeny: 2-0 “Da Juniaz av ad a ‘ard time in their trii gamz ter date. Purson-alee, mee tink dat Nuffle iz punishin’ dem fer nub ‘aving a fancy uniform. Greun skins playin’ in greun armee surplus kit makz dem look loike a gaggle o’ plastic soldiaz. Theez Gobbo boyz need ter change dat soon!  Mee per-dict dat dis weeks enimyz o’ ‘airy footed childrun will beet dem too!”


There you have it folks, the last prediction of this competition! Tune in tonight for what will be a pretty spectacular evening!

Chanelf Challenge Cup Third Round Fixtures & Predictions

After last weeks frenzy the action doesn’t let up as we see these teams fighting it out tonight (don’t forget to keep up to date with the results as they come in on our Twatter feed):

It’s getting pretty tight at both ends of the table as we can see here:

Themysciran Thunderers 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 7 2 5 60
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2 2 0 0 3 1 2 4 1 3 60
Gaen Vale Stags 2 1 0 1 6 4 2 4 5 -1 30
Norsca Wild Fire 2 1 0 1 3 1 2 3 4 -1 30
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 2 1 0 1 1 1 0 3 4 -1 30
Bridgetown Bantams 2 1 0 1 1 2 -1 6 3 3 30
Akumal City Rainmakers 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 4 2 2 20
The Tlaqua Spacehoppers 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1 2 -1 10
Hobbiton Gardeners 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 3 5 -2 10
Pastafarian Juniaz 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 1 8 -7 0

So lets get our pundits predictions on the result of each match and see what they make of it all. Over to you.

Themysciran Thunderers vs Barack Varr Dreadnauts

A top tier clash that surely sees the winner with one hand on the cup, The Thunderers and Dreadnauts both surely fancy their chances in a must-must win fixture, who will step up, and who will step off?

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-1 “Hmmm, wez will NEVER like da stunty wunz. Wez pick da ‘ommie girlies.”

Altann Octopunch: 1-1 “Ah, the old classic, Dodgers vs Tacklers… If the Thunderers were elves then the lack of dodge wouldn’t matter and I’d pick them for the win… Alas, they are not, so this will be an even game. Those Amazons do like their Elfy shenanigans though!

Jojo Kerwin: 1-2

Lin Greeny: 0 – 2. Well, dis iz goin’ ter be a game ter …wimper… pleez da blood godz! Dem Stunties are goin’ ter tackle an smash dem dodgin’ girls ter a messy pulp.

Gaen Vale Stags vs Norsca Wild Fire

The Stags were bullied by what is proving to be a pretty toothy-teethless team in the Thunderers, who seem as interested in destroying their opposition as they are in playing Bloodbowl, but will look to get back to winning ways with a slim chance at still lifting the cup if results go their way. Lacklustre against the Blitzers, The Wildfire found their stride last week, and will look to ‘submarine’ their way up the table this week.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 3-2 “Da pointy-earz might get smashed, but deyz know how’ta score. Pointy-staggy-Gaen boyz will win”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-1 “Gaen Vale proved in their match how good Elves can be, scoring with just 3 players on the pitch (Although of course, we Sea Elves could have done this with even less…) If the Norse bash game takes out the elf dash strategy, then The Wild Fire are in with a slim chance. But I don’t think this will be a problem for The Stags”.

Jojo Kerwin: 3-1

Lin Greeny: 2 – 3. Dis wun iz definitelee goin’ ter be a draw. Dem panzy Skinnies woz on fire against da Juniaz in round 1, but got smasheded by da amazons in round 2.  Meeb tink da Norse team will giv dim sum trubble.

The Bloated Bile Blitzers vs Bridgetown Bantams

Narrowly losing the ‘bash-off’ to the Dreadnauts last week will have motivated the Blitzers to make a push to capitalise on any mistakes made at the top of the table this week. The Bantams are on the up, however, and will look to continue their momentum into week three.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 1-2 “Wez like cake. Cake is gud. Wez don’t like slime. Da smellyboyz shud looz coz da stunties shud be cunning…”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-1 “This game will sticky fingers all round! The slime of The Blitzers vs the cake-covered hands of The Bantams. I’d say lime is stickier than icing sugar and with a beast that can match a treeman in power then the little guys are going to get slimed bad. Maybe it’s best for The Bantams to go over the Blitzer’s heads than under them!”

Jojo Kerwin: 1-0

Lin Greeny: 4 – 2. Enough bile, rot an festerin’ bodiss ter spoil eben da bestest ‘Alfling chef’z ‘otpot!  Meeb kan see da nurgle team gainin’ a few more rottaz ter their rosta by da end o’ dis game!

Akumal City Rainmakers vs Pastafarian Juniaz

The Rainmakers seem to be the leagues resident draw specialists, but will have to hope for a better result against the basement team of the competition. However, if the Juniaz stars align, they could be in for a huge win to kick start their season with a late run of success.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-2 “Da froggy leapy wunz will score, but uz gobbos are sneaky…. Wez wil be eatin frogz legz like Bretty Boyz…!”

Altann Octopunch: 3-1 “A similar match to The Spacehoppers vs The Gardeners, but with the added bonus of weapons! The rainmaker will have to score early to take out those weapon: no one likes a chainsaw (or anything else the Greenskins can get their cheating little hands on, such as blenders. I hear they like putting frog in blenders….!) The Rainmakers should be okay here, but will have to watch out for that Doom Diver…”.

Jojo Kerwin: 3-2

Lin Greeny: 3 – 1 Gobbos Vs Frogs, wot kan meeb say. dis iz eiver goin’ ter be a complete tromp ober by da Frogs, or a secret wepin induceded blood bad in da Juniaz favour. But meeb godda say, dat goin’ by their scurry o’ luck in da per-vious twuu rounds, da Juniaz wuud be lucky ter eben git ter use their secret weapons!

The Tlaqua Spacehoppers vs Hobbiton Gardeners

The Spacehoppers take on the Gardeners in what is familiar territory for the ‘Flings. The residents of Hobbiton will need to maximise the impact of their hired ringers and treemen, while the Spacehoppers will look to go one better than their Slann rivals, who could only draw in the corresponding fixture. With no hope of lifting the cup, this game is all about pride and climbing the table.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-2 “Neva team is gud enuf to win, so wez fink itza scorey-drawey”.

Altann Octopunch: 5-1 “Both teams have yet to actually win a match so this should see all the stops pulled out Everyone loves the fighting ‘flings, but if those trees can be avoided, The Space Hoppers are on for their first win…”

Jojo Kerwin: 2-1

Lin Greeny: 3 – 2 Da Frogs shud win dis wun, so lon’z dat chef doesn’t nick too many re-rolls, an ony tree frogs on da team manaj ter stay away from da big greun leafy stuff in da Gardenaz team.


Our pundits have made their views on the match! Tune in tonight to see who will make their move in round three!

Chanelf Challenge Cup Second Round Fixtures & Predictions

The Challenge Cup moves into it’s second round. Using the Swiss system the following matches will feature:

All fixtures will take place tonight! Keep up with the matches by following our Twatter feed. But before we head out we have some previews and predictions on these matches, featuring our newest pundits and reporters, Skritch’n’Skratch and Altann Octopunch to which I am sure you will find out more about them in the coming days.


Gaen Vale Stags vs Themysciran Thunderers

This week’s top of the table clash see the Stags take on the Thunderers. Buoyed by their victories in the previous round, both teams will be looking to take control of the table and make a strong statement to the rest of the league. Elvish dexterity or Amazon agility: which will prevail?

Skritch’n’Skratch: 3-2 “Dowz Elves woz well scorey last week. Deyz shud win”.

Altann Octopunch: 3-0 “The Stags are no Sea Elves, but I expect elves to always show good form…”


The Bloated Bile Blitzers vs Barack Varr Dreadnauts

Both securing narrow, if dominant, wins, the Blitzers and Dreadnauts will seek to close the narrow gap to the top two teams and make the league their own in the next round of fixtures. The divisions two resident heavyweight ‘bash’n’grind’ teams- only one can prevail.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-1 “Da stinky boyz wil smash da stunty-boyz. An wez ‘don’t like da beardy wunz.”

Altann Octopunch: 0-1 “This is not how Blood Bowl should be played, but the dwarves will use their death roller (Cheats!) to grind to a narrow win.”


Akumal City Rainmakers vs The Tlaqua Spacehoppers

A narrow loss for the Spacehoppers and a lucky draw for the Rainmakers sees them head up the ‘best of the rest’. A frog-off between two very evenly matched teams, bragging rights will be up for grabs: Who will be ‘Top Frog!’ ?

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-2 “Da froggy wunz wil jump lotz n score loadz”.

Altann Octopunch: 4-3 “The experience of The Spacehoppers coach, as previous head coach of the Natterjacks, should seem them scrape through this one in a high scoring game”.


Hobbiton Gardeners vs Norsca Wild Fire

Seeking to submarine their way to the top after last rounds unlucky draw, the Gardeners face Norsca Wild Fire, who were simply unable to score against the Blitzers. Both teams will be looking to get their campaigns back on track in a match that is likely to set the tone for the rest of their campaigns.

Skritch’n’Skratch: 2-1 “Da stunties wil smash da norf humies”.

Altann Octopunch: 2-1  “Everyone knows when a Halfling draw, its really a win, so the Gardeners will continue their ‘hot streak’ as well as serving up their legendary hot pies”.


Bridgetown Bantams vs Pastafarian Juniaz

The Bantams and The Juniaz will both look to jump start their seasons with a win over one of their other rivals for the title of ‘Best Stunty’. The Juniaz looked good on offence, but will need to shore-up their leaky defence, while the Bantams will look to take advantage of a team down on its luck. Arguably the pick of this week’s fixtures, it has the potential to be a thriller!

Skritch’n’Sratch:: 2-3  “Gobbos will always beat da fat wunz…!”

Altann Octopunch: 2-1  “This looks to be a great toss off, comind down to a tree and a halfling and a troll and a goblin. The troll will swallow the goblin, and the bantams will win!”.

Stars in their eyes

Greetings Sports fans. It has been awhile since we have taken a look at the goings on in the league! Lets reverse that trend and take a look at Star players.

Believe it or not it has been 7 years since the HDWSBBL signed a contract with their agents and the NAF to allow the recognised star players to play in the league. At the time in 2511 it was a controversial decision with coaches both for and against bringing in outside help. In the end the fear that home grown stars would be ignored was overruled by the extra violence and amazing plays that stars could provide.

To celebrate we got our interns to take a look through the leagues archives and see what they could come up with.

In numbers:

  • 50 of 66 recognised stars have played at least one game in the HDWSBBL.
  • The 5 most popular stars are:
    • Morg ‘n’ Thorg (55 games)
    • Wilhelm Chaney (28 games)
    • Deeproot Strongbranch (20 games)
    • Zara the Slayer (17 games)
    • Nobbla Blackwart (15 games)
  • Star players have made 389 appearances in the league, or 297 unique matches.
  • The league has spent a total of 92,520,000 gp on Hiring Star players, that is enough for 92 NEW teams (or Gerhards bonus for writing an article – whatever happened to him?)!
    • The league has paid the top 5 stars 42,910,000 gp alone with 23,650,000 gp of that going to Morg! We know who is buying the next round!
  • The biggest impact the stars have caused is an increase in causalities – 82 to be precise. Morg is responsible for 32 of these, but it is not surprising considering he has played more games than the vast majority of HDWSBBL players!
  • No star player has ever made an interception!
  • We have no recorded deaths or injuries of stars in the league (nothing to do with their contracts forbidding it – honest) – but they have killed 11 HDWSBBL players.
    • Morg has personally claimed 3 lives, with Deeproot and Headsplitter claiming 2 each
  • Star players have been the match MVP 24 times
  • 11 Stars have played in a final, and won 18 HDWSBBL championships:
    • Morg ‘n’ Thorg – 5 Championships (New World Conference Cup, The HDWSBBL Vase, The Shield x3)
    • Eldril Sidewinder – 2 Championships (HDWSBBL Championship Cup, Old World Conference Cup)
    • Wilhelm Chaney – 2 Championships (HDWSBBL Championship Cup, New World Conference Cup)
    • Fezglitch – 2 Championship (HDWSBBL league Cup, the Shield)
    • Hack Enslash – 1 Championship (HDWSBBL Championship Cup)
    • Zara the Slayer – 1 Championship (HDWSBBL Championship Cup)
    • Setekh – 1 Championship (HDWSBBL Championship Cup)
    • Hubris Rakarth – 1 Championship (New World Conference Cup)
    • Prince Moranion – 1 Championship (Old World Conference Cup)
    • Icepelt Hammerblow – 1 Championship (Old World Conference Cup)
    • Ugroth Bolgrot – 1 Championships (The Shield)
  • The most popular season for star appearances was the 2511/12 season when the contract was signed with 64 appearances. The 2517/18 season came close with 61 games containing at least one star player. The current season (2518/19) has so far seen 25 matches with stars (out of 16 games!) – only time will tell if it will see more stars than any other season.

Who is hiring them

So, who are hiring these stars? The top 10 (ish) teams that have hired stars are:

  • Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez – 14 occasions
  • Tail Slammers – 14
  • The Riverside Rainbows – 14
  • Lightning Claws – 12
  • Chaos All-Stars11
  • Grudge Corsairs – 11
  • Arcani’s All Sparks – 11
  • The Asgard Marauders 10
  • Dark Wings of Fury – 10
  • The Wild Brunch – 10
  • Suderholm Snow Leopards – 10
  • Warpstone Wanders10

Three of the teams on the list are active this season (highlighted above) so have a chance of hiring even more! Considering the form of teams, I don’t think it will help them much….

The Top ten hiring races are:

  • Halfling – 42 stars hired
  • Skaven – 41
  • Human – 30
  • Norse – 29
  • Dark Elf – 23
  • Goblin – 22
  • Chaos Pact – 20
  • Necromantic – 19
  • Underworld – 18
  • Chaos – 17

Over the past seven years all races have hired at least one star player for a match!

Are they worth it?

So are stars worth it? From raw statistics  – no! On average they underperform per match with their HDWSBBL counterparts. Even special plays such as Deeproot scoring a Touchdown has been replicated by a Treeman in the league before (can anybody name said Treeman in the comments)?

However they are invaluable for making sure a team has a full roster on the pitch, and the fans they bring with them to the stadiums. For that they will always be worth it.

Ideally we would provide a detailed breakdown of if hiring a star increases your chances of winning, but we had to le the interns go home and see their families.

Nothing brings this more to life than the 11 star players who are HDWSBBL Champions! Originally star players were banned from finals but, like all rules, that was nothing a bribe or two could not change! Since then 5 stars have played in the final and won the HDWSBBL Championship itself. Would those teams have won the championship without help? That is still being debated in taverns across the old world to this day!

Whats next?

It does not look like Star players are going anywhere soon. Since their introduction the league has seen amazing growth and the stars have provided amazing memories for the teams. They are a helping hand when teams are desperate, and they allow HDWSBBL talent to make a name for themselves and take down a legend (and boy do they try)!

Sorry folks, it looks like Morg isn’t going anywhere soon!

On the Horizon it looks like even more stars are on the way as more legends make their return to the pitch. Once the HDWSBBL has worked out the arrangements with their agents we will let you know!

And so it begins….

Greetings all you Blood Bowl coaches, fans and cheerleaders,


It is nearly upon us – HDWSBBL season 10!


This year I will be continuing with the match previews and analysis that we started last season BUT with an added twist I will be taking your commentaries and in-depth analysis and placing them on the HDWSBBL news site and Warzone.  Will Kai Konami predict the future winners and losers of the season? Has Jo-Jo found his lost golum’s limbs?  Which piece of wonderful insight can Shigglez bring to the league? Will that Bretonnian bloke Jancleod ever stop bothering me!  We shall see as the season unfolds.


See you all pitchside

Dr Viktor “The Doc” Nekromortis


HDWSBBL at NAF Championships 2515

Hello Blood Bowl Coaches and Fans alike,


Last weekend coaches from around the Old World flocked to Albion to partake in the greatest and largest Blood Bowl tournament – the NAF Championships.


The games were thick and fast but when the dust settled the results for the HDWSBBL coaches were

  • The Doc 3-1-2 with the Naggaroth Black Crows Dark Elves and 51st place (from 150 coaches)
  • Sandwich 2-0-4 with the Gog Magog Gladiator ogres and 129th place overall but 9th for casualties caused.

But performance of the weekend was 2514 Superbowl Champion Purplegoo (rumoured to be making a return to the HDWSBBL after a season away) who finished 3rd coaching Wood Elves.


Congratulations to all who attended and we hope to get more HDWSBBL-ers to the next NAFC in 2516!


See you pitchside,


The Doc.