Category: Season 7

Season 7 – Week 11 – Play-Offs Kick Off!!

Azgard Marauders vs Gitz & Shiggles
The hotly tipped game of this round showed the Goblins in sadly poor form. Nothing they tried worked, and as predicted the Azzies did not fail to capitalise.
Demoralised at the poor state of affairs the Gitz just collapsed in the second half.
Thus does the great goblin experiment finally come to a close ,but what a run they had, and what havoc they caused!
Never in the league have we ever seen so much illegal weaponry bought onto a single pitch, and never have the Referees guild ever made so much illicit money from a single team!
Tailslammers vs Temper Bay Marauders
The Mads had several problems dealing with the sneaking Slammers. Bouncing back from their recent hammering from Atrocity, the Slammers were in the kind of form that made them infamous.
Dashing plays, madcap vaudeville, lightning fast combinations, the Mads permently lost two Black Orcs in the amazing show of form from the Slammers.
The Mads still won.
Barak Varr Rebels vs Titans
To be honest, I was a little bit surprised that the Titans were even in the playoffs.
The Dwarves of Barak Varr quickly fixed this. But now they have to worry about the Atrocity next game.
Nightlords Vs Blackburners
Last time these two played, a freak snowstorm badly hampered the Burners already limited mobility. But what are the chances of that happening agai…oh god nooooooo!
In a hauntingly accurate re-enactment of that first game, everything went completely mammaries skyward for the Burners, and their post season dreams finished at the first step.
The Vamps meanwhile continue to go from strength to strength, but can they really beat the Baccies in the next round?

Quick Summary of Week 11

  • 4 games in Quarter Final – New World Conference Play-Offs 2512/13
  • 11 Touchdowns scored
  • 5 Casualties caused (1 resulted in Death)
  • 3 Completions made
  • 30,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 11

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Old World Conference Play-Offs 2512/13 – Quarter Final

New World Conference Play-Offs 2512/13 – Quarter Final

Obituaries for Week 11

Season 7 – Week 10 – Finger of Death Strikes Home

Gitz & Shiggles vs Temper Bay Marauders

This seasons gobbos have systematically brought all kinds of lethal hardware to their games – balls on chain, chainsaws, pogo-sticks, Trolls with bad breath… this week? ARTILLERY!
Deliriously on target bombing saw the Mads ball carriers repeatedly bombarded. The goblins ended up having so much fun that they forgot that there was a ball involved with this sport. The Mads meanwhile decided that going near that bloody thing was a good way of getting blown up and proceeded to stay clear. A nil all draw was the result.

Barak Varr Rebels vs Sect of Temptation

The Sect woke up again. “It happens – deal with it” was the official team response to stunned onlookers. Although the Rebels did win in the end, it was only through a combination of luck and sheer desperation plays on their behalf.
More importantly, if the Sect can find some kind of consistency on this level then their post-season chances in the shield may not be as low as the bookies are currently giving them.

Defilers vs Jimps & Perps

The Slammers could only look on concernedly as the Defilers, perhaps inevitably, took these poor buggers apart.

Blackburners vs Asgard Marauders

The Blackburners were going into this game with nothing to prove. There was nothing they could do in this game that could change their standings either way, and with their “star” fouler on the bench with an injury this game they professed a desire to keep most injuries “above the belt*” and to keep the injuries inflicted on the other team to “a light tenderising”.
They then proceeded to kill two of the Azzies players (well, technically one of those was the crowd, but still.) and absolutely hammer the rest of the team to pieces. Only their star player, a Yhetee managed to survive unhurt, much to the Blackburners consternation.
It didn’t go all the Blackburners way however, an amazing pass from Galar saw the Azzies take the lead with the first touchdown, and aforementioned Yhetee managed to injure Burners captain Axbeard Stonebiter. However a couple of touchdowns from the Burners offence in the second half secured the Burners another victory in the end.
*this doesn’t really mean much, Anything more than 5 inches off the ground is considered “above the belt” for a dwarf.

Brimstone’s Shadows vs Har Ganeth Heartbreakers

Perhaps not quite the dream match that some might have hoped for, when two elf teams go head to head the resulting game is one thats often short on casualties and big on intricate technical plays.
The Shadows went into the match as the more experienced team and it clearly showed.
The scrappy Breakers tried their best, but the Shadows sadly had the measure of them. A high finesse game throughout that saw the Shadows come out top. Not that it’ll help them much, as despite winning so handily, it’s the Shadows that are going into the charity shield and the Breakers are going into the play-offs.

Tailslammers vs Atrocity Exhibition

All credit to the Slammers and all but if they HAD won, it’s likely the very fabric of reality would be torn asunder, a gaping hole in all that is would rend the sky in twain and from it would seep through the blasphemous sleeping gods of the dark times before man, and with their seven mouths and twenty gaping eyesockets bubbling pitch they would sing the song that ends the world.
Luckily for everyone then this didn’t happen.
I really cannot emphasise enough how hard this didn’t happen.
At this point it is still unknown if Arcani Spark is alive, dead or some kind of quantum probability zombie. All we know is that he’s off the roster, a substantial amount of petty cash is missing from the slammers kitty and there’s an extra layer of topsoil outside the grounds.
…the plot thickens.

Quick Summary of Week 10

  • 8 games in Cross Division – World Series 2512/13
  • 21 Touchdowns scored
  • 36 Casualties caused (4 resulted in Death)
  • 13 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 38,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 10

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Date Match Result Gate
24.01.13 Sect of Temptation vs Barak Varr Rebels 1 – 2 (2 – 3) 19,000
24.01.13 Blackburners vs The Asgard Marauders 2 – 1 (3 – 2) 23,000
24.01.13 Temper Bay Marauders vs Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez 0 – 0 (6 – 3) 26,000
24.01.13 Talos Tobacconists vs Finbar United 2 – 0 (1 – 1) 23,000
24.01.13 Drakwald Defilers vs Jimps and Perps 3 – 0 (3 – 0) 28,000
24.01.13 Nachthaften Nightlords vs Nordenringen Titans 2 – 0 (3 – 1) 22,000
24.01.13 Brimstone’s Shadows vs Har Ganeth Heartbreakers 3 – 1 (1 – 1) 21,000
24.01.13 Tail Slammers vs Atrocity Exhibition 1 – 3 (2 – 4) 38,000

Season 7 – Week 9 – The Playoffs in Sight!

Nordenringen Titans vs Sect of Temptation

The Sect seem to have lost what little momentum they had over the Christmas break, going down 2-0 in the first half. This sort of performance doesn’t look good for their shield chances.

Drakwald Defilers vs Har Ganeth Heartbreakers

The now resurgent Defilers made good work of the Breakers, who still managed to buck the trend and only take minimal casualties from this infamously violent team. Another win for the Defilers as they continue their crusade to try and take the Slammers top slot and ensure their position in the second round of post season.

Barak Varr Rebels vs Talos Tobacconists

A game of ups, downs and deathrollers saw the Dwarves leading in the first half, only for the baccies to stage a comeback in the second. Both teams gave performances to be proud of and both teams are looking good for the post season.

Tail Slammers  vs Gitz & Shiggles

These two outlandish and unpredictable teams met on the pitch with an almighty splat that saw the Gobbos come off the worst. Numerous knock-outs and the odd injury saw the Gitz unable to respond to Arcani Sparks trademark “Slammers Style” and the rats beat the gobbos two goals to one.

Another win here for the Slammers continues to keep the Defilers are bay, but the top spot in NWS south is going to go right to the wire.
But with the Slammers looking at Atrocity for their final match and Defilers playing against whatever Dreddmen are calling themselves these days, is this one hurdle too far for the “Jammiest rats in Jammy town.”?

Temper Bay Maruaders vs Jimps and Perps

Oh dear. Not even multiple name changes can save these poor buggers as they continue to face hard team after even harder team. Maybe the last game of the season will earn them a reprieve? Nope. It’s the Defilers.

Nacthaften Nightlords vs Asgard Marauders

A game that proved to be a lot harder for the Nightlords than it appears on paper. The Other Marauders put on a sterling show against a team that given so many so much trouble over the season. In the end though the Vamps managed to secure a 1-0 victory.

Atrocity Exhibition vs Brimstone’s Shadows

Even though a draw against the Atrocity counts as a win against any other team, the snooty elves of the Shadows still left in a huff due to what they called “highly unsportsmanlike behaviour” from Atrocity Exhibition.
One can only assume that some kind of long term brain damage has occurred causing them to forget that they are playing bloodbowl and not some kind of knitting competition.
…that said, I’ve met some old grannies who were lethal, and I do mean lethal, with a pair of knitting needles in my day.

Blackburners vs Finbar United

Lacking two of their players, Blackburners were looking at an uphill struggle against the FU. Despite this they put in a good showing and were able to go 1-0 up by half-time. However despite all of their best efforts they just couldn’t stop the FU from equalising in the dying seconds of the match. It also saw more unfortunate casualties for the Burners, with Bogoff, their primary fouler taking on a back injury that will keep him out of the Burners – Asgard Marauders game.

Quick Summary of Week 9

  • 8 games in Cross Division – World Series 2512/13
  • 19 Touchdowns scored
  • 16 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 18 Completions made
  • 33,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 9

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Date Match Result Gate
10.01.13 Nordenringen Titans vs Sect of Temptation 2 – 1 (2 – 0) 17,000
10.01.13 The Asgard Marauders vs Nachthaften Nightlords 0 – 1 (1 – 2) 26,000
10.01.13 Finbar United vs Blackburners 1 – 1 (2 – 0) 27,000
10.01.13 Barak Varr Rebels vs Talos Tobacconists 1 – 1 (2 – 0) 22,000
10.01.13 Atrocity Exhibition vs Brimstone’s Shadows 2 – 2 (3 – 0) 33,000
10.01.13 The Nexus Sykes vs Temper Bay Marauders 0 – 2 (0 – 0) 18,000
10.01.13 Har Ganeth Heartbreakers vs Drakwald Defilers 0 – 2 (1 – 0) 30,000
10.01.13 Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez vs Tail Slammers 1 – 2 (1 – 2) 26,000

Season 7 – Week 8 – Almost there!

Finbar United vs Defilers

The “Big D” are well and truly out of their funk, as FU found to their considerable cost. The game saw a return of the Defiler Savagery that made them such fan favourites last season. With this win they begin their assault on the Slammers towering points lead. But catching them will be as much down to the Slammers getting poor results as the Defilers playing well.

Nachthaften Nightlords vs Atrocity Exhibition

Until this point Atrocity have been absolutely untouchable. If you had told me at the start of this season that the team to finally end Atrocity Exhibitions winning streak was a Vampire team, I’d have thought you a complete lunatic.Nevertheless, here we are, with the Vampires LEADING against Atrocity for almost all of the game, only in the last few turns were Atrocity even able to equalise!
If there’s one thing we’ve noticed this season, it’s the teams that perhaps are considered less competitive than the rest are proving to be some of the most successful this year.

Sect vs Har Ganeth Heartbreakers

Another glorious surprise draw for the Sect. Only last week I was discussing just how well the Breakers were coming along, and perhaps this then is a great indicator of the scale of the revival that Sect are experiencing.
I am reminded of another team that started poorly. For seasons it was the joke of the league, then they started to get draws. One here, one there. Then they started winning. Then they started getting Silverware. This team I speak of? The Slammers. Who, last time I looked, are storming to the top of their division, well ahead of even the Defilers.

Deddmen vs Talos Tobacconists

What can I say? The Deddmen still can’t get themselves a break, and the Baccies score themselves another win. This is a team that is definitely going places this season, and their progress in the post season is going to be highly entertaining to watch.

Titans vs Slammers

A rare good showing from the Titans saw them level with the Slammers, who as we’ve mentioned, have been having an runaway season. It just goes to show that you truly can’t ever predict what the Slammers are going to do next.
Mostly because the Slammers themselves have no idea what they’re doing at any point in time either.

Asgard Marauders vs Temper Bay Marauders

Two flavours of Marauders faced off against each other, but what should have been a brutal game with plenty of injuries fizzled out instead. The two teams simply bashed on each other half-heartedly all game. Rumours later began circulating that the two teams had gone on a pre-game bender together reminiscent of the Beaumont Blitzer Benders of league legends, and that they were horrendously hung over as a result.
The commissioners are looking at the possibility of docking their pay for their poor performance, whilst the Mads are looking at the possibility of putting a horses head in the Commissioners beds if they continue with that line of thinking.

Blackburners vs Gitz & Shiggles

After two losses, the Burners were looking for a chance to their mojo back. They probably weren’t expecting that up against surprise success story of the league: Gitz & Shiggles. Nevertheless, they hunkered down and squared off against a team that was almost 50% comprised of illegal weapons and somehow, they came out on top.
The Burners were on unprecedented form this game, and handed a shoeing to the goblins the likes of which they have never received so far.
It didn’t go all the Burners way however, up against multiple fanatics and chainsaws they couldn’t help but take injuries and they found themselves missing their Minotaur for their upcoming game against Finbar United.

Quick Summary of Week 8

  • 8 games in Cross Division – World Series 2512/13
  • 20 Touchdowns scored
  • 27 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 23 Completions made
  • 37,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 8

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

13.12.12 Brimstone’s Shadows vs Barak Varr Rebels 2 – 2 (0 – 4) 28,000
13.12.12 Blackburners vs Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez 2 – 0 (3 – 2) 28,000
13.12.12 Sect of Temptation vs Har Ganeth Heartbreakers 1 – 2 (1 – 2) 25,000
13.12.12 Tail Slammers vs Nordenringen Titans 1 – 1 (1 – 1) 19,000
13.12.12 Temper Bay Marauders vs The Asgard Marauders 0 – 1 (1 – 0) 20,000
13.12.12 Nachthaften Nightlords vs Atrocity Exhibition 2 – 2 (0 – 4) 37,000
13.12.12 Drakwald Defilers vs Finbar United 2 – 0 (3 – 0) 22,000
13.12.12 The Nexus Sykes vs Talos Tobacconists 0 – 2 (0 – 5) 24,000

Cross Conference Matches, Here We Come!

 

Well what a season we are so far! With seven matches now played it’s still unclear who will qualify for what place in the play-off’s. We have had a few shock results, some fantastic scorelines and plenty of drama. Here is a recap of my favourite moments.

  • The screaming chants of VAMP’s WIN! Heard throughout the Nightlord’s stadium all night long. A few locals went missing that night too, reports are unconfirmed that they were used for the celebration feast after the match.
  • Atrocity literately maiming everyone in their path. Such entertainment to be seen watching this team!
  • The Tail Slammers double fumble……..Double pass fumble….whatever the heck they called it play which help them draw the match against the Defilers.
  • An amazing comeback from the Sect of Temptation to draw their match against the Talos Tobbacconists.
  • Talos Tobbacconists proving all the critics wrong and having their best season to date impressing all with their form.
  • Har Ganeth Heartbreakers who score a lot of touchdown’s reminding this dear old reporter of the Rangers in form.
  • Those pesky little runts called Goblins. What a performance this season and they could be the first stunty team to make the play-offs!
  • And lastly the opening three weeks of this season were the most brutal I have seen ever in this league with a impressive 89 Casualties and 15 deaths! There were only 9 matches without a death and 3 with no injuries at all. OWC East was the most brutal whist NWC North was the most friendly.

And for just some statical facts for your nerds out there that we found:

  • Atrocity are up to a seven match winning streak. The current record is held by the Loren Rangers at 12 matches before they were beaten by the Karond Kar Corsairs.
  • The Tail Slammers are the record holders for most rostered players (Ex and Current) with a total of 40! Well they are rats!

So can this season get any better? Yes it can, there is everything still to play for and the tops spots in most leagues are still being contested. Any team can falter at the last hurdle if they don’t get the wins they require to get into the position they want. After all being the divison champion means you play one less match in the playoffs. So who is ruling the roost at the moment and who is holding the tables up?

** New World Confrence (NWC) **

NWC North

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Talos Tobacconists 7 4 2 1 11 5 6 18 6 12 14
Nachthaften Nightlords 7 3 2 2 10 6 4 5 12 -7 11
Temper Bay Marauders 7 3 2 2 7 6 1 16 6 10 11
Brimstone’s Shadows 7 2 2 3 10 11 -1 2 12 -10 8

The Tobacconists have surprised a lot of people this year with their current good form with four wins and two draws. The Nightlords and Marauders are slowly closing in however being only three points behind the Tobacconists need to pick up and retain the form. The Shadows are not too far behind with only a three point margin placing them bottom. If they pull off a few good wins then they can surely make it into the playoffs still. By far the most close division.

NWC South

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Tail Slammers 7 3 3 1 11 8 3 9 18 -9 12
Drakwald Defilers 7 2 3 2 8 9 -1 19 10 9 9
Blackburners 7 1 4 2 6 8 -2 15 12 3 7
Sect of Temptation 7 0 2 5 7 17 -10 5 13 -8 2

The Slammers are back and they are ruling the the top of the division. They have had some good results in the last few weeks where the Defilers who were previously top have fallen from grace. A loss and a draw has cost them dearly and also allowed some breathing space for the Blackburners to catch up if they can get some more shock results like they did previously this season. One thing is for sure, if the Sect win their next three-two matches and the Blackburners loose all three then it will be the Sect going up and the Blackburners defending their shield title.

** Old World Confrence (OWC) **

OWC East

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Atrocity Exhibition 7 7 0 0 19 2 17 23 3 20 21
Barak Varr Rebels 7 5 1 1 9 4 5 15 9 6 16
The Asgard Marauders 5 3 0 2 9 6 3 5 11 -6 9
The Nexus Sykes 7 0 0 7 2 20 -18 4 12 -8 0

Atrocity have been pounding everyone and are pretty sure of topping the division. A single win is all they require to solidify this place. But lets give credit to the Rebels who in their debut season have done very well winning 5 out of 7. A great start for the Dwarves and they should keep this place (Unless Atrocity really piss it all up the wall). The  (Other) Marauders who have also had a decent season are two matches behind with reports confirming they drew with the Gobbo’s. They could catch up to the Rebels and pill the pressure on them if they can get some great results. The Dreddmen (Not the Nexus Sykes) are yet to gain some point, they are currently the bottom team this season but who can blame them after they were drafted in when the Sykes took off into the night. If they can win all three matches like the Sect they can climb out of the bottom and shatter the record books with an amazing comeback.

OWC West

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Har Ganeth Heartbreakers 7 4 0 3 17 12 5 4 14 -10 12
Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez 6 3 0 3 11 9 2 9 12 -3 9
Finbar United 6 1 2 3 5 10 -5 11 16 -5 5
Nordenringen Titans 7 1 1 5 6 15 -9 16 10 6 4

The Heartbreakers, another debut team, have shown they can mix it up with the big guns. Scoring touchdowns to make the Rangers proud, they have really done well. If they win their next match then it should be enough for them to take the top place. The Goblins have been another shock team this season. It must be because the opponents are laughing too hard, or that their deadly weapons are killing them before they speak. A real fan favorite team and they look like they will finish second unless Finbar can win a couple of games. With Finbar and the Titians only winning one game a piece (one a forfeit) the bottom place is uncertain as of yet. It will go to the last match between these two.

And there we are that marks the end of the Cross Divisional and the start of the Cross Conference matches. Good luck to all teams and we hope to reach your season goal. Please leave a comment on who you want to win in each division or even the entire season.

– Bob Fortune.

 

Season 7 – Week 3 – Shake, Rattle and Blood Bowl!

 

As the third (and this) week of games rolled around local apothecaries cheered as yet more high paid work came their way.

Tailslammers Vs Sect of Temptation

Despite a sound thrashing by the Burners in the last round, the Sect managed to pull themselves back up and gave the dirty rats a sound thrashing. Numerous injuries and KO’s littered the Slammers dugout and although the Slammers still managed to burgle a 3-2 win from behind this was still an excellent performance from Temptation, and they should not despair if this is the sort of performance they can pull off with journeywomen in their ranks.

Har Ganeth Heartbreakers vs Nordenringen Titans
It was a disgustingly clean game, with next to no casualties or injuries until well near the end of the game. It was a total disgrace and numerous fans are no doubt already writing letters of complaint to the league commissioners about the level of fair play they saw in this game. The Dark Elves won. Obviously. They’re elves. It’s what they do.
Gitz ‘n’ Shigglez vs Finbar United
FU continue to have a seasons of ups and downs, and the Gitz continue to have a season that’s going in directions not known to science. FU could not handle the sneaky goblins dizzying array of illegal weaponry and after taking heavy losses found themselves unable to stop the Goblins from scoring a comfortable win.
Barak Varr Rebels vs Atrocity Exhibition
A hard game played by a pair of hard teams, these two imposing sides, one side a well known old hand, the other a new one but already with a good reputation. The two tried to grind each other down but both sides doughty toughness proved impressive and neither one refused to blink. Atrocity managed to gain the goal advantage however and in the late game all pretence was abandoned. The entire proceedings dissolved into an open brawl! The ball was ignored! Players stripped down to the waist and fought bare-chested to the sound of roaring fans tearing into their opposing number! The death toll was catastrophic and corpses are still being discovered in the local area today.
Glorious!
The Asgard Marauders vs The Nexus Sykes
It’s a knock-out! An almost record breaking number of players were knocked out in this game, which was comfortably won by the Azzies. Sadly this will be the last game in the league that the Sykes will play as further civil war has broken out again within their homeland, and they all found themselves being served draft notices.
Meanwhile, my postie is out and out refusing to deliver my mail unless I muzzle Ezra Wheedon. Bloody dog.
Blackburners vs Drakwald Defilers
In a surprise upset, the Burners managed to actually score an away win against the Defilers. On paper the Defilers seemed to have the tools to negate all of the Burners advantages, in the form of three Chaos Warriors with long claws and mighty sinews to peel Dwarves out of their armour. In a surprise showing of tactics, the Burners decided to focus their strength against these three and were able to take two of them out by half time. In one incident Burners star Tantor managed to near kill a warrior, only to do it again when the Defilers Apothecary managed to get him back on his feet. By pressuring the Defilers, the Burners managed to get them to score early in the first half, and a lucky* riot resulted in the clock getting put back, giving the Burners enough time to show the Defilers the passing game which they’d been slowly cultivating and equalise in the first half. In the second half they managed to score a second time and secure their first victory of the season. Special mention has to go to Bogoff the Hobgoblin. Seriously, watch out for him, he’s a wrong’un, he’ll do for you.
*rumours that the riot was started by me hurling fireballs into the crowd are completely unsubstantiated. They were grenades.
Temper Bay Marauders vs Talos Tobacconists
Like the game between Atrocity and the Rebels, this too was a hard game with few casualties. Unlike that game however, the Tobacconists after being behind for a long time, were able to grind back a draw. One point well earned for the Tobacconists there.
Brimstone’s Shadows vs Nachthaften Nightlords
Both teams went into this game with a win in their previous match so it was all to play for. After much fumbling, blood drinking and mishaps the match ended in a disappointing one all draw. Something the Vampires gladly took away with them was one of the Shadows cheerleaders, reports are still unconfirmed but it appears that Lady Elizabet was behind it. Someone really had upset her to take it out on a helpless cheerleader…
And that wraps this weeks summary up. Check out the Team News Network for more news and updates as soon as it happens.

Quick Summary of Week 3

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2512/13
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2512/13
  • 2 games in OWC East – World Series 2512/13
  • 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2512/13
  • 23 Touchdowns scored
  • 27 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 17 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 29,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 3

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

League Standings for the World Series 2512/13 (Week 3)

Player Statistics for the World Series 2512/13 (Week 3)