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Season 14 – Week 7 – Slowly Shaping Up

Right, second round of the post season then. Get in.


HDWSBBL League Cup V

Themysciran Thunderers 1 (1) – 1 (0) Beards of Zeus

The Beards were in good form but a rare moment of complacency almost scuppered the Beards upcountry grind. Second half saw the Thunderers return the favour to equalise. It’s a rare thing to see a team do a decent Dwarf impression, especially when they’re Armour 7 Amazons, but the Thunderers are a tight little team that can do just that.

Liz ‘n’ Let Die 0 (3) – 3 (3) Gaen Vale Stags

In the closing moments of the first half it was nil all, it looked like Liz N Let Die’s iron defence had finally managed to stop the Stags, and then the Bullshit™ happened. All of the Bullshit™. Credit where it’s due, even 2-0 down the Lizzies never gave up, even when they were 3-0 down they never gave up.

Gave up killing Elves that is.


The Vase Championship II

Norsca Wild Fire 1 (1) – 1 (5) The Bloated Bile Blitzers

The Blitzers seemed to struggle in the first half to even make contact with Norsca, and conceded a TD before half time. But, come the second half they’d managed to equalise and much more importantly put 5 of Norsca’s players into the Dead & Injured box. The rapid depletion of players meant that Norsca couldn’t break the stalemate and the Blitzers score their second draw of the post season.

Well, points are points aren’t they?

Har Ganeth Vipers 3 (1) – 1 (2) DC Marvels

Could the fake elves of DCM fool the real elves of the Har-Ganeth Vipers long enough to pull out a surprise win? Er… no. No they could not. DCM showed good moxie, but the Vipers showed actual skill and ability and it turns out those things are better at winning games of Blood-Bowl.

…there, I don’t think anyone’s going to notice.
Jojo

Quick Summary of Week 7

  • 2 games in the HDWSBBL League Cup V
  • 2 games in The Vase Championship II
  • 11 Touchdowns scored
  • 16 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 10 Completions made
  • 24,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 7

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Vase Championship II

HDWSBBL League Cup V

Obituaries for Week 7

League Standings for the HDWSBBL League Cup V (Week 7)

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Beards of Zeus 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 3 1 2 4
Gaen Vale Stags 2 1 0 1 4 2 2 3 6 -3 3
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 4 -1 3
Themysciran Thunderers 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 5 3 2 1
Liz \’n\’ Let Die 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 3 3 0 0

Player Statistics for the HDWSBBL League Cup V (Week 7)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Leoven Greenarse Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 9
2 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 8
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 8
Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 8
Garth Holliday Runner Beards of Zeus 8
6 Okida Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 7
Jaws Kroxigor Liz \’n\’ Let Die 7
Frank Vitchard Blocker Beards of Zeus 7
9 Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 5
Handrell Breengill Linesman Gaen Vale Stags 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Leoven Greenarse Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 3
2 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1
Krit Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Divintakl Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 1
Brick Tamland Blitzer Beards of Zeus 1
Garth Holliday Runner Beards of Zeus 1
Juscyra II Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 2
Krux Kroxigor Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2
Scaramanga Saurus Blocker Liz \’n\’ Let Die 2
4 Clinara Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Okida Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 1
Jousulyte Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Psionia Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Jaws Kroxigor Liz \’n\’ Let Die 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Heichi Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 1
Neidadora Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Kylo Razorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1

 


League Standings for the HDWSBBL Vase Championship II (Week 7)

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Har Ganeth Vipers 2 2 0 0 5 2 3 2 2 0 6
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 5 2 3 2
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1
Norsca Wild Fire 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1 6 -5 1
DC Marvels 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 2 1 1 0

Player Statistics for the HDWSBBL Vase Championship II (Week 7)

Best Players

Top Scorers

Most Vicious

Top Passers

Most Valuable Players (MVP)

Season 14 – Week 6 – And Now For Something Completely Different…

Well, here we are for a 5 game post season. I’m sure this will end well. I’m absolutely certain this won’t be the worst idea since the Bodyguard of King Harold said “Look sire! An arrow! Try to catch it between your teeth!”.

Whatever.


HDWSBBL League Cup V

Beards of Zeus 2 (3) – 1 (0) Gaen Vale Stags

The Beards came looking for revenge, and between the resultant violence, they also found the ball. But the real touchdowns were the elf-corpses they made along the way.

The Beards, it seems, are back in town.

Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2 (3) – 1 (4) Themysciran Thunderers

“Dont worry!” said the Thunderers, “We’ll stop the..!” And then this scaly juggernaut rolled over them whilst making curious “Choo-Choo” and “Chugga-Chugga” noises. It’s another strong start from Locomotiv, and at this point we have to ask if anything can stop this Lizardman team?

Tune in next round to see if even my tipping them to win can do it.


The Vase Championship II

Har Ganeth Vipers 2 (1) – 1 (0) Norsca Wild Fire

A tight game between the two led to a nailbiting finish which saw the Elves finally find some bullshit left in the tank and pull ahead for a 2-1 result in the last moments.

The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1 (0) – 1 (1) Barack Varr Dreadnauts

Another day, another DN vs Bile Blitzers game. Bit of a snorefest really, so much so that most of the Blitzers were asleep at one point or another for the game. There was another jammy TD in the first half for the Dwarves, which they should really cut down on, they’re practically acting like elves now and it’s not on, but otherwise nothing to write home about.

Jojo

Quick Summary of Week 6

  • 2 games in the HDWSBBL League Cup V
  • 2 games in The Vase Championship II
  • 11 Touchdowns scored
  • 12 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 6 Completions made
  • 28,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 6

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Vase Championship II

HDWSBBL League Cup V

Obituaries for Week 6

League Standings for the HDWSBBL League Cup V (Week 6)

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Beards of Zeus 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 0 3 3
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 4 -1 3
Liz \’n\’ Let Die 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Themysciran Thunderers 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 4 3 1 0
Gaen Vale Stags 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 3 -3 0

Player Statistics for the HDWSBBL League Cup V (Week 6)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Frank Vitchard Blocker Beards of Zeus 7
2 Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 6
3 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 5
Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 5
5 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 4
Krux Kroxigor Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 4
7 Krit Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 3
Divintakl Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 3
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 3
Garth Holliday Runner Beards of Zeus 3

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Krit Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Divintakl Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 1
Garth Holliday Runner Beards of Zeus 1
Juscyra II Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Krux Kroxigor Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2
2 Clinara Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Okida Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 1
Jousulyte Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Bloxa Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Champ Kind Blocker Beards of Zeus 1
Frank Vitchard Blocker Beards of Zeus 1
Baxter Deathroller Beards of Zeus 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Heichi Blitzer Themysciran Thunderers 1
Neidadora Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1

League Standings for the HDWSBBL Vase Championship II (Week 6)

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Har Ganeth Vipers 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 1 0 1 3
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 -1 1
DC Marvels 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Norsca Wild Fire 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 1 -1 0

Player Statistics for the HDWSBBL Vase Championship II (Week 6)

Best Players

Top Scorers

Most Vicious

Top Passers

Most Valuable Players (MVP)

 

Season 14 – Week 5 – Final Week! (For the Qualifiers…)

So, it’s the final round. I’d like to say everything is still to play for, but to be honest both divisions worked out who was going to be on top last round. This is just working out who get’s to go to the League Cup and who get’s to fight over some sort of piece of crockery. Vase? What’s that? Next we’ll be playing for a Cuddly Toy of Wilhelm Chaney.

Incidentally and in no way connected, does anyone want to buy several crates of stuffed animals from me? There was a tremendous postal mix-up.


North Division

Norsca Wild Fire 1 (4) – 1 (6) Barack Varr Dreadnauts

Bloodbath! Norsca have been flying high over their win against the Beards last round and had a score to settle with the Dreadnaut’s for the Summer Cup. But the Dreadnauts had grudges of their own and were none too picky about who they filed them upon. The second half saw the Dreadnaught’s equalise with the jammiest of Hail-Maries that I’ve ever seen in my life, all the while both sides piled up the casualties. A deadly and bitter struggle, where the only real winner was Bloodbowl.

The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1 (3) – 3 (1) Gaen Vale Stags

The Stag’s attempted elf bullshit against stalwart interference from the Blitzers. Some of which consisted of the Blitzers giving a robust murdering to them. In a mirror of their last games, the Elves secured their position and then hung back, allowing the slower paced team score a consolatory touchdown. Unlike last game, that was because they were six players down by the end and basically had to.


South Division

Themysciran Thunderers 1 (2) – 1 (2) Liz \’n\’ Let Die

It looks like even a second place finish has proved beyond the Thunderers reach, whilst Liz N Let Die continue to improve and evolve right before our very eyes. Not literally you understand, that generally only happens with Tzeentchi teams. Or sometimes Skaven ones who have been hitting the half-time Warpstone a bit too hard.

DC Marvels 0 (1) – 2 (1) Har Ganeth Vipers

Could the fake elves of DC Marvels fool the real elves of the Har-Ganeth Vipers long enough to pull out a surprise win? Er… no. No they could not. DC Marvels showed good moxie, but the Vipers showed actual skill and ability and it turns out those things are better at winning games of Blood-Bowl.

Jojo

Quick Summary of Week 5

  • 2 games in North Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 2 games in South Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 10 Touchdowns scored
  • 20 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 12 Completions made
  • 26,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 5

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Winter Series 2519/20 – North Division

Winter Series 2519/20 – South Division

Obituaries for Week 5

League Standings for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 5)

North Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Gaen Vale Stags 4 4 0 0 13 4 9 2 8 -6 12
Beards of Zeus 4 2 0 2 4 4 0 12 3 9 6
Norsca Wild Fire 4 1 2 1 4 6 -2 5 12 -7 5
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 8 8 0 4
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 4 0 1 3 2 8 -6 9 5 4 1

South Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 4 2 2 0 6 2 4 2 1 1 8
Themysciran Thunderers 4 1 2 1 6 5 1 7 3 4 5
Liz \’n\’ Let Die 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5 6 -1 5
Har Ganeth Vipers 4 1 2 1 6 6 0 2 5 -3 5
DC Marvels 4 0 2 2 2 7 -5 4 5 -1 2

Player Statistics for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 5)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 18
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 18
3 Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 14
4 Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 13
5 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 12
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 12
Jaws Kroxigor Liz \’n\’ Let Die 12
Galacter Linesman DC Marvels 12
9 Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 11
Finih Fyrestride Linesman Har Ganeth Vipers 11

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 5
2 Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 4
3 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 3
Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 3
Leoven Greenarse Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 3
6 Pustule Picker Pestigor The Bloated Bile Blitzers 2
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 2
Rosa Klebb Skink Runner Liz \’n\’ Let Die 2
Bloxa Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2
Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Billy Bad-Breath Bloater The Bloated Bile Blitzers 3
Snodule Scuzzball Rotspawn The Bloated Bile Blitzers 3
3 \”Biffo\” Troll Slayer Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2
Gorim Garinsson Blocker Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2
Sathya Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 2
Kananga Saurus Blocker Liz \’n\’ Let Die 2
Champ Kind Blocker Beards of Zeus 2
Brick Tamland Blitzer Beards of Zeus 2
Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 2
Baxter Deathroller Beards of Zeus 2

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Andrathatm Eilfina Thrower Gaen Vale Stags 5
Alex \”No Mercy\” Thrower DC Marvels 5
3 Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 4
4 Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 3
5 Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 2
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 2
Elvbane Catcher DC Marvels 2
8 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1
Pustule Picker Pestigor The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Season 14 – Week 4 – Going For Broke!

Right, this one was a bloody nightmare, once again everyone conspired to make sure none of my hot tips came up, and don’t think I’m not taking names and faces for the lot of you. There’s going to be a reckoning for this, makr my words or I’m not… what? Match reports? Fine, have your sodding reports!


North Division

Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1 (2) – 3 (1) Gaen Vale Stags

The Elvish bullshit continues unabated, and I think we have to concede that the shine has gone right off the Dreads year. The Dreads attempted to try and dig their way out of trouble which is very Dwarven, but also very unlikely to actually work.

I knew it was a bad idea to tip them to win, I sodding knew it.

Norsca Wild Fire 1 (1) – 0 (4) Beards of Zeus

Norsca were still a might pissed off a the Stags Elvish bullshit from last round, and I’ve been bigging up the Beards for the last few games so it really is no surprise that the Beards lost here. On Touchdowns anyway. On casualties however, where it MATTERS, the Beards quite literally hammered them.


South Division

Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1 (0) – 1 (0) DC Marvels

DC are proving to be one the few Elf teams to show a preference for the one-all draw, it’s almost as if THEY WERE A HUMAN TEAM, IN DISGUISE. HINT. HINT.

The Loco’s let their instincts lead them and it’s hard to say if their desperate savagery helped or hindered them this game. Either way, a point’s a point and right now the Loco’s are sitting assailable at the top of the division.

Themysciran Thunderers 2 (3) – 2 (0) Har Ganeth Vipers

Now that the Vipers are Elfing to industrial standards, could the Thunderers slow them down enough to vaporise them into a fine pink mist?

Well, they tried, and managed to struggle their way to a draw, which against (real) Elves is always something. But the Thunderers needed a win if they wanted to a chance of beating Lustria Locomotive in this division. So now they’re in a race for the second place slot with the other Lizardman team of this year: Liz’N’Let’Die.

Jojo

Quick Summary of Week 4

  • 2 games in North Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 2 games in South Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 11 Touchdowns scored
  • 11 Casualties caused (0 resulted in Death)
  • 8 Completions made
  • 21,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 4

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Winter Series 2519/20 – North Division

Winter Series 2519/20 – South Division

League Standings for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 4)

North Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Gaen Vale Stags 3 3 0 0 10 3 7 1 5 -4 9
Beards of Zeus 4 2 0 2 4 4 0 12 3 9 6
Norsca Wild Fire 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 1 6 -5 4
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 3 1 0 2 3 4 -1 2 4 -2 3
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 3 0 1 2 1 5 -4 6 4 2 1

South Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 4 2 2 0 6 2 4 2 1 1 8
Themysciran Thunderers 3 1 1 1 5 4 1 5 1 4 4
Liz \’n\’ Let Die 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 3 4 -1 4
Har Ganeth Vipers 3 0 2 1 4 6 -2 1 4 -3 2
DC Marvels 3 0 2 1 2 5 -3 3 4 -1 2

Player Statistics for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 4)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 15
2 Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 14
3 Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 13
4 Galacter Linesman DC Marvels 12
5 Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 11
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 11
Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 11
8 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 9
Sathya Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 9
Champ Kind Blocker Beards of Zeus 9

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 4
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 4
3 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2
Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 2
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 2
Bloxa Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2
Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 2
Mara Dawnscar Blitzer Har Ganeth Vipers 2
Leoven Greenarse Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 2
10 Grung Fodrinsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Billy Bad-Breath Bloater The Bloated Bile Blitzers 2
Snodule Scuzzball Rotspawn The Bloated Bile Blitzers 2
Sathya Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 2
Champ Kind Blocker Beards of Zeus 2
Brick Tamland Blitzer Beards of Zeus 2
Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 2
Baxter Deathroller Beards of Zeus 2
Jack Johnson Troll Slayer Beards of Zeus 2
9 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1
Hugen Slivershield Blocker Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Andrathatm Eilfina Thrower Gaen Vale Stags 3
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 3
3 Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 2
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 2
Alex \”No Mercy\” Thrower DC Marvels 2
6 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1
Pustule Picker Pestigor The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Season 14 – Week 1 – Winter Has Come!

The Winter Season is upon us, same as it ever was, although with somewhat less teams than usual. Whatever, makes it easier for me anyhow. Let’s get some match reports done so I can f- off down the pub.


North Division

Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2 (0) – 0 (2) The Bloated Bile Blitzers

There are three teams I reckon could take the cup this year, and the Dreadnauts, after the summer season are absolutely one of them. The Blitzers are fine lads and there’s nothing I like more than to see a team willing to just have a scrap in the midfield don’t get me wrong, but I just think they need one more seasons worth of experience before they become contenders.

The DN’s seemed to be in fine form this game, in fact, if anything they seemed a bit over-eager. Postgame their Coach indicated he wasn’t happy with the amount of speed and pace he was seeing from the team.

“At one point I swear one of them was thinking about making a pass! A PASS! They’ve gotten cocky and it’ll all come to fire and damnation soon enough. This sort of showboating has no place in a team of mine!” he is quoted as saying.

*Original Working title: Game I could actually be arsed to watch.

Beards of Zeus 1 (3) – 3 (0) Gaen Vale Stags

Well, the Stags sadly seems to have finally got into their groove, hammering this new Dwarf team 3-1. The Beards did some traditional hammering of their own for sure, but as they say in Blood Bowl “You only need 3 Elves to win a game”. But what these new stunties lack in ability they make up for in spite and viciousness, it’s just a shame that the Ref hadn’t been sufficiently bribed this game for them to get away with a turn 16 foul. Better luck next time lads!


South Division

Liz \’n\’ Let Die 0 (0) – 2 (1) Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC

It does me a power of good to see Loco’s coach back in the league, his propensity for getting away with the ridiculous always made for great games to watch. This 2-0 drubbing marks an excellent start for his return season. After the game, the other coach admitted that he’d failed the pre-season rituals and thus was now suffering under the curse: the Un-pain of Ted-Moh-Dells. Shocking! In this day and age too, in a modern league! I know the schedules been a bit more hectic this year than usual, but sure this is no excuse! Hopefully the curse will be lifted before the end of the season.

DC Marvels 0 (0) – 3 (2) Themysciran Thunderers

Are the DC Marvels an Elf team, or are they just humans wearing false ears? I think the results pretty much speak for themselves. Time will tell if this identity confused team can actually PLAY like elves at some point, but until then, this was the Thunderers (another of my league topper picks) game to lose. And.. well… they just didn’t. They didn’t in emphatic form. I don’t know how more clearly this team could have not lost… well no, that’s a lie, we all remember the infamous 7-0 Warpstone Wanderers drubbing of Team Chaos in 2518. But that wasn’t a game it was an experiment in taking the piss.


So, that’s the first round of games, next week expect Norsca Wild Fire (my third top-pick) and the Har-Ganeth Vipers to have games. For anyone who’s putting any stock in my predictions however, let me remind you that I haven’t gotten a single one of these things right yet, and I doubt I’ll be starting now. In the Stags are actually managing not trip over their own arses all the time now then they could well be the dark horse of the season.

JoJo

Quick Summary of Week 1

  • 2 games in North Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 2 games in South Division – Winter Series 2519/20
  • 11 Touchdowns scored
  • 8 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 10 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 22,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 1

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Winter Series 2519/20 – North Division

Winter Series 2519/20 – South Division

Obituaries for Week 1

League Standings for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 1)

North Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Barack Varr Dreadnauts 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 0 2 -2 3
Gaen Vale Stags 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 0 3 -3 3
Norsca Wild Fire 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Beards of Zeus 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 3 0 3 0
The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 2 0 2 0

South Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Themysciran Thunderers 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 2 0 2 3
Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 1 0 1 3
Har Ganeth Vipers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Liz \’n\’ Let Die 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0 1 -1 0
DC Marvels 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0 2 -2 0

Player Statistics for the Winter Series 2519/20 (Week 1)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 12
2 Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 7
3 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 6
4 Hugen Slivershield Blocker Barack Varr Dreadnauts 5
Mucus Membrane Rotter The Bloated Bile Blitzers 5
Psionia Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 5
Durlan Sylbalar II Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 5
Blofeld Saurus Blocker Liz \’n\’ Let Die 5
Manxiti Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 5
Galacter Linesman DC Marvels 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 3
2 Morag Rhunlikhelsson Runner Barack Varr Dreadnauts 2
3 Haldir Qiydark Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Bloxa Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Paxrimani Skink Runner Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Brick Tamland Blitzer Beards of Zeus 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Snodule Scuzzball Rotspawn The Bloated Bile Blitzers 1
Neidadora Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Isnia Lineswoman Themysciran Thunderers 1
Krit Saurus Blocker Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC 1
Champ Kind Blocker Beards of Zeus 1
Ed Harken Blocker Beards of Zeus 1
Baxter Deathroller Beards of Zeus 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Andrathatm Eilfina Thrower Gaen Vale Stags 2
2 Mhaenal Elamice Blitzer Gaen Vale Stags 1
Zilyana Torjeon Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Ryo Holazorwyn Catcher Gaen Vale Stags 1
Abroulete Thrower Themysciran Thunderers 1
Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1
Ron Burgundy Runner Beards of Zeus 1
Cam Hicks Catcher DC Marvels 1
Elvectro Blitzer DC Marvels 1

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Hippocita Catcher Themysciran Thunderers 1

Winter Series 2519/20 Preview

The new season has well and truly kicked off by the time you have read this (provided you are one of those few fans, who can in fact, read!) and this season looks to settle the old rivalry of who is better, the North or the South! Each of the divisions consists of five teams, some returning, some all together new.

NORTH DIVISION

The North division sees the return of four established teams that participated in the recent Chanelf Challenge Cup, including Cup champions and everyone’s favourite team (say Whaa?!… – Ed) the Barak Var Dreadnauts. Since their debut the team hasn’t failed to take home a championship trophy and will surely be looking to continue that tradition this season. The next three teams also took part in the Chanelf Cup. The returning Norsca Wildfire, Gaen Vale Stags and the Bloated Bile Blitzers all finished the cup on equal points, with the final standings between them being decided through technicalities such as touch downs and casualties. The Wildfire came out on top and I’m pretty certain the Stags and the Blitzers weren’t happy about that.  Keep your eye (or eyes for all you Chaos fans out there) on these three teams for a mini tournament inside a tournament as I’d bet gold coins that there is plenty of unfinished business and bragging rights sorely left between them (especially sorely with them Nurgle boys, girls, things?…). The final team to mention is an exciting new team that I’ve been looking forward to seeing for some time. No, sorry, I can’t lie, it’s another bunch of Dwarves. You know the drill, they are Dwarves, enough said. Oh, and they call themselves the Beards of Zeus. They sound nerdy, but at least it’s an interesting name which will possibly get this team some interest. They are Dwarves, they’ll be fine.
AO : Brah, been off the coast of Estalia catching some mondo waves and just got wind of the latest HDWSBBL news. This looks set to be a re-do of the Chanelf Cup looking at the teams involved. I’d be down for that. While they aren’t my favourite team, there’s that saying dude “be there or be square”. Them Dreadnauts are certainly the most boring, squarest team in the division but they’ve definitely been there and have the experience to do it again.

SOUTH DIVISION

The complete opposite of the North, the South Division consists of only one returning team. The Themyscirian Thunderers came runner-up in the Chanelf Cup, losing to everyone’s favourite team (who keeps saying that?! – Ed) the Barak Var Dreadnauts. With no Dwarf teams playing in the South, the Thunderers must favour their chances of topping the division this time around. After what seems an aeon, at last we have some fresh cold blood in the form of not one, but two, Lizardmen teams! While not much is known about them and with a name like Liz ‘n’ Let Die, I would guess these particular Lustrians are skink and Nuffle’s luck heavy. The Lokomotiv Lustria BBFC on the other hand, sound like they are the complete opposite, preferring to field as many smash-mouth Lizards they can in order to run rough shot over the opposition. Which style will prevail, and will either of them come to rival the legendary Teotigua Predators, only time will tell but it’s exciting to see them once again. Switching from the fresh cold blood of the Lizards, we get to bathe in spilt fresh hot blood courtesy of a new squad of Dark Elves that have stepped out of the shadows and back onto the HDWSBBL pitch. The Har Ganeth Vipers come with one vicious single minded purpose (and that’s saying something about the Druchii! – Ed) – to re-establish Dark Elf dominance that has been long absent from the league. If they make their sacrifices (both on and off of the pitch) then they should do pretty well for themselves. Rounding up the South Division we have the newly assembled DC Marvels. A beautiful fresh faced team of Elf Union members, hopefully they will live up to their namesake showing the marvellous form expected from them, but then we’ve all seen several Elf teams who haven’t!
 
AO : Like, dude! What a fresh mix of teams in this division. Loving the Lizards and as always those Amazon babes, reminds of that Beach dudes song, “I wish they all could be Koka Kalima Girls…” but my clam shells are on the Vipers. If I were a Dark Elf coach, I’d totally call my team the Vipers. Plus them Druchii cheerleaders, ‘nuf said bro!

HDWSBBL - Fact

Ogre Teams

The Man Eaters were the first ogre team in HDWSBBL History. They Debuted in the 2508/09 season.

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