Category: The Broom Cupboard

Back To The Job In Hand… Almost…

Good day one and all, sorry for my absence but i took a break with some old friends which turned out to take longer then expected, but now i’m back.

Now i’ve missed a fair few matches and now it’s time to catch up. So instead of going into match details like i normally do i’ll give a quick performance review of each team (not be confused with Kai’s Power Ranking).  So without further ado my rundown.

We Tree Fellows: Well these guys have had a good couple matches. A decent victory against the Vixens (4-1) and then a complete wipe out of the Tabacconists. This match was the first i saw since getting back. Glad i did. At halftime it was 3-0 then coming back in to 2nd half the Fellows Blitzed twice and scored from both then scored later on to end it 6-0.

Talos Tobacconists: Although the Tabacconists lost miserably to the Fellows all was not doom an gloom. After a tough game against the Blackburners the Talos won 1-0.

Whereinthehellarewe Tribe: 2 loses to the little people. Instead of tossing halflings the Tribe really struggled to get to grips with the Voodoo and lost 1-0. The other loss came as forfeit as the team lived up to their name after turning up at the wrong stadium and saying “Where in the hell are we?”. Due to this navigational error the team couldn’t get back in time.

Elfheim Razorhawkes: The match against the Horrors was not great. The Hawkes suffered 5 casualties one resulting in a fatality. The final score was 1-1. Their next match was exactly what they needed. A forfeit (see above). Not only did the hawkes get the win without having to do anything it also meant that the players injured in their previous match get an extra week to recover.

Lighting Claws: It seems that the skaven/goblin combo had a mixed couple of matches. With a win against struggling Creeping Death (2-1) saw them get their first win of the season. Unfortunately their winning streak didn’t last long as the Defilers got 2 touchdowns to their 1.

Drakwald Defilers: These guys are still doing what they do best, getting good results. It almost wasn’t to be against the Stumpies but the Defilers held on to their draw. Against the Claws they got back to their winning form to win 2-1. Almost to easy…

The Gelfs: The Gelfs had a mixed bag in regards to score lines although their casualty’s rate doesn’t seem to be getting better. Against the Flayers they didn’t do to well losing 2-1. Different story when they faced the Jackles. They may of only managed 1 touchdown but against a team that knows how to cage this a good result.

The Tutsbones Jackles: The Jackles had a good match against the Bad Tempered Maruders getting a solid 2-0 win under their belts or should i say bandages. There next match didn’t go as well losing 1-0 to the Gelfs.

The Blackburners: As already mentioned above the Blackburnrs lost to the Tobaccanits 1-0. But its not all bad for the Blackburners as they managed to beat the Vixens 2-1.

The Brimstone Flayers: These guys just don’t seem able to lose at the moment. Their winning streak just goes on and on. Against the Gelfs the Flayers won 2-1. Then against the Bad Tempered Maruders it was a 5-1 walkover.

Temper Bay Marauders: Unfortunately the Bad Tempered orks just aren’t living up to the orkish way of Blood Bowl. The orks lost both games before the winter break. 2-0 from the Jackles and 5-1 from the Brimstone Flayers.

Grimwood Voodoo: These undead guys aren’t doing to bad for their 1st season. On their current form they should fair quite well. When they played the Wherethefuckarewethistime Tribe it was a painfully drawn out 1-0 victory to the Voodoo’s. When they played the Horrors it was a different story as they lost 2-0. But who is Billy Bones…

Universal Horrors: For all intents and purposes another undead team that have done well so far this season. A 1-1 draw against the Razorhawkes was not exactly on the cards but they bounced back from a minor setback to win there next game. 2-0 against the Voodoo was more like it.

Deamons Stump Deamonicans: Only the one match from the Deamon Stumpies and that was against the Drakwald Defilers. The Deamon Stumpies took a beating but managed to get a 1-1 draw.

Valhallen Vixen’s: Hmmm. They lost both. They stink. They probably cant wait to bugger off home. Someone thinks they can get into the shield final. To do that they need to win.

Well hopefully that wraps the last few weeks of Blood Bowl action. From now on i shall try to keep on top of things and not get dragged away by other less important distractions.

Till next time my friends…

Janitor.

Still Loving The Jobs You Hate.

Season 6 – Week 7 – The Importance Of Making The Right Decision…

Good day to you all and welcome back to the Janitors Broom Cupboard.

I start today with some shocking news. After going through the stats and such like i found out the Valhalen Vixens have no points. Yes that’s right people you have read correctly, the Valhalen Vixens have NO points. With the half point of the season nearly upon us it is looking very bleak for the Vixens. Possibly, thinking about it, none of you will shocked by this and neither do any of you give shit. Anyway enough of that lets talk about some teams that are actually playing Blood Bowl proper.

Firstly we have a postponed match between the Brimstone Flayers and the Wee Tree Fellows. In a match that promised much we weren’t left wanting. The Flayers beat the Fellows 3-2. By all accounts it could of gone either way but the flayers got the job done an showed why their still a championship winning team.

Now for the results from across the rest of the league.

After beating the vixens so comfortably it was time to see how well the Bad Tempered Marauders would do against the top team team from west division. In true Defiler fashion they beat the Marauders 2-0 and carry on the wining streak.

The Vixens carry on their losing streak losing to a well prepared and totally awesome Universal Horror team. Final score 2-0 to the Horrors.

A draw next and not all expected by myself. I’m talking of the match between the Tutsbone Jackals and the Daemon Stumps. With a goal a piece this was a true stand off between 2 brick walls. 1-1.

Brimstone Flayers again but this time against the Lighting Claws. Seems there’s no stopping the Flayers at the moment with another win under their belt beating the claws 2-1.

Wee Tree Fellows also played again and did slightly better then in their last game. Neither coach was happy with the final outcome only managing to get a draw. Final score was 2-2.

And finally we had the Whereinthehellarewe Tribe vs the Talos Tobacconists. Most people would of had one team winning this fixture be it either the Talos riping into the Halflings (literally) or the Halflings being tossed all over the pitch. Disappointingly it ended as a 1-1 draw with the tribe scoring almost before time was up. Rumour has it that in the second half both teams set up an then just stood and stared at each other for a large portion of the half. More on this as and when i get more information.

In true HDWSBBL fashion someone, somewhere doesn’t play their match when their supposed to and this report is no different. This week i have two late matches for you. The Gelfs vs Creeping Death and Elfheim Razorhawkes vs Blackburners.

First off we’ll look at the match between the Razorhawkes and Blackburners. With both teams coming back from defeats it was game on for an exciting match and we weren’t left wanting. The match was won by the Blackburners 2-1 after giving the Hawkes a right mauling. By time the final whistle blew the Hawkes had 3 injured players being tended to and 7 players piled up in the KO’d box. When i first saw this i nearly wet myself from laughter…

Lastly we have the Gelfs vs Creeping Death. Now for reasons unknown to us the Creeps have done 2 things to surprise us here at HDWSBBL HQ which we still cant get our heads round. It seems rather then support his team Head Coach Odin had something else more pressing to attend to and didn’t travel to the Brothel with his team. To make matters even worse it seems he got Brynhilder of the Vixens to coach the team as a one off stand in. Odin. Why the F**k would you get the worse F**king coach to F**king manage your F**king team. I mean for F**k sake your own F**king team is only 1 F**king  point better off then her own F**king Team. Surely you could of F**king found some other F**ker to watch the team……… Sorry lost the plot there, back to the match. The match started well for the Creeps getting a few early bashes in causing a death to a Gelf linelf. The first half then carried on with much pushing and shoving with neither team making much headway till the Creeps manged to break through an score. All seemed to be going well for the Creeps. But then disaster befell the Creeps when Brynhilder stated playing the Creeps like she does with the Vixens. Badly. The Gelfs started hitting back harder and manged an early equalizer. The Creeps closed ranks and prevented the Elfs coming back again. One of the Gelfs lineelfs tried to block a Creep but ended up killing herself after being impaled on the Creeps armour. With 2 Gelfs off the pitch it seemed the Creeps could hold out for the final minutes of the match but in true elf fashion the Gelfs pulled a last ditch touchdown effort out the bag to score. The match ended 2-1 to the Gelf’s.

Another report done and if we’ve learned anything from the last couple of weeks its don’t get another coach to watch over your team if you cant be there. No that’s not quite true if you cant make it don’t get a shite coach (Brynhider) to take you place.

Well have fun out there, and don’t do anything i would do….

Janitor.

N.B The view’s expressed in this report are those of the janitor only and not of the HDWSBBL. While confused at the choices made by Odin we totally understand his need of absence and the need to have a coach support his team. Just not his choice of coach. That said we hope to see Odin back on the sidelines for Creeping Deaths next match.

Quick Summary of Week 7

  • 8 games in Cross Division – World Series 2511/12
  • 27 Touchdowns scored
  • 24 Casualties caused (1 resulted in Death)
  • 18 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 35,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 7

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – Cross Division

Obituaries for Week 7

Player Statistics for the (Week 7)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 33
Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 33
3 Two Whistles Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 26
4 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 24
5 Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 23
6 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 21
Frey Gunnar Linesman Creeping Death 21
8 Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 20
9 Gurt Tombbrood Ghoul Grimwood Voodoo 19
10 Lupus Baskervile Werewolf Universal Horrors 18

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 9
2 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 7
Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 7
4 Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 6
5 Two Whistles Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 5
6 Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 4
Gurt Tombbrood Ghoul Grimwood Voodoo 4
Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 4
9 (69) Jimmy Catcher We Tree Fellows 3
Me Uptai Thro-Ra The Tutsbone Jackles 3

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 7
2 Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 4
Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 4
4 Tantor TE Minotaur Blackburners 3
Atem Ra Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 3
Frank Shellnstein Flesh Golem Universal Horrors 3
Sesslith “The Seductive” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 3
8 (12) Furgus ‘R U Lookin @ Me?’ Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
(0) Duncan ‘1/2 Pounder’ Blitzer We Tree Fellows 2
(14) Dylan ‘Hey Man!’ Linesman We Tree Fellows 2

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 (03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 10
Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 10
3 Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 8
4 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 6
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 6
6 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 5
7 Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 4
8 Siessz the Infected Skaven Thrower Lightning Claws 3
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 3
10 Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Zhatan Deamontongue Chaos Dwarf Blocker Deamons Stump Deamonicans 2

Season 6 – Week 6 – Back In My Broom Cupboard, For Now…

Wotcha guys an welcome back to my broom cupboard. Its been a while since i last been in here after all that fuss a few weeks ago, but the HDWSBBL council in their infinite wisdom ave given me a second chance at behaving myself. I’m under strict instructions to stay away from stadiums if not invited and if invited in not to get drunk and fondle anyone of a female persuasion.

Anyway enough of my ramblings lets get on with all the action. Now as you should all now be aware we have started the cross divisional part of the season. For those of you not paying attention and yes i mean you Whereinthehellarewe Tribe, this part of the competition sees North vs South and East vs West. Now for some reason i seem to be missing some results either due to games not happening or the ineptitude of my halfling assistant slash spy for the HDWSBBL council  Bandy Merrytook. This is what i got for you.

The first match i got for you is between Creeping Death and the Werethefuckdidtheylearnhowtoplay Tribe. On paper it should be of been an outright win to the Creeps, after narrowly losing out in their previous match they were due to dish out some pain, Norse style. Wot the hell happened. Instead of dishing some Norse style pain they took a beating Halfling style. With flings winging through the air all the Creeps could do was watch. The match ended 3-2 to the flings. Although the Creeps did manage to score it was far from the scoreline i expected. It just goes to show…

The rest of the matches that took place were the low scoring affairs that we have become accustomed to this season with the exception of the match between the Blackburners and the Defilers. Without breaking out in to much of a sweat the Defilers beat the Blackburners 2-0. The other results were Grimwood Voodoo’s 2 the Gelfs 1. Voodooy. Temper Bay Marauders 1 the Valhallen Vixens 0. Who would of guessed. Bloody useless…

Well that just about wraps things up…

Hold on, just been handed some late results. Bandy your a useless stunty twat. Universal Horrors 1, Tutsbones Jackles 0.

Deamon Stump Deamonicans 1, Elfheim Razorhawkes 0.

Talos Tobacconists 1, Lighting Claws 1.

Well that really is everything. I’ll let you know how the match between Brimstone Flayers and Wee Tree Fellows goes when it happens. Next report will be coming from the home of the Valhallen Vixens who are entertaining the Universal Horrors and i for one want a front row seat so can i heckle them as they lose, again…

Till then i’m the Janitor.

Quick Summary of Week 6

  • 7 games in Cross Division – World Series 2511/12
  • 15 Touchdowns scored
  • 19 Casualties caused (6 resulted in Death)
  • 11 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 28,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 6

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – Cross Division

Obituaries for Week 6

Player Statistics for the (Week 6)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 26
2 Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 20
3 Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 19
4 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 18
5 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 17
Two Whistles Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 17
7 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 15
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 15
9 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 14
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 14

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 7
2 Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 4
(7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 4
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 4
Two Whistles Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 4
6 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 3
Gurt Tombbrood Ghoul Grimwood Voodoo 3
Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 3
Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 3

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 4
Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 4
3 Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 3
4 Mehutu Se Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 2
Frank Shellnstein Flesh Golem Universal Horrors 2
Badruck Smash’burn Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 2
Atem Ra Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
Sutekh Iah Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
Sesslith “The Seductive” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 2
Kalbaz Skaven Blitzer Lightning Claws 2

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 7
2 Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 6
3 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 4
Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 4
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 4
6 (03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 3
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 3
8 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 2
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 2

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Zhatan Deamontongue Chaos Dwarf Blocker Deamons Stump Deamonicans 1

Season 6 – Week 5 – Lonely…..I Am So Lonely!

Hey folks i’m back and feeling like my old self again. Sorry about my last summary i read it a few days ago and was ashamed, ashamed of what i wrote that day. Well lesson learnt, never enter into a drinking competion with an ork on an empty stomach.

So, as those of you that have been paying attention, this week saw the last of the Divisionl games take place. This is the time when teams want to cement themselves in a good position before taking on their neighbouring divison in their conference.

Just for a change i’ll start at East Division. Oh i just remembered this divsion finished the week before. Apparantly they had an internal divisional bet that they could be finished before the offer divsions. Me thinks that the commissoners might want to intervene with this one. There is a fixture list for a reason people.

Over in West division we have the Defilers vs the Razorhawkes. Both of these teams have won thier opening matchs, so for one of these teams a win would put them top. With a good run from the Razorhawkes it was time to see if they could win without their talisman Morg n Thorg. Unfortunatley for the elfs they, well, they simply got pounded into the pitch. The Defilers won 3-0 and caused 4 casulitys one resulting in a death. The other match to take place is between the Jackles and the Vixens. Where the other teams have points and vying for top spot these two are just playing for points and to not come bottom. With both teams reputations at stake it was going to be one to watch. As the final whistle blew one team had the points, their reputation in tack and played a blinding good game whereas the other team should of just stayed at home and done what women  are good at and not bloody well bothered coming back. Jackles 2- 1 Vixens.

North division saw the Tabocconists take on Creeping Death. With the humilating defeat of the Vixens it was time for the Creeps to stand up and be counted for all norse kind. After much tussling the Tobbaconists came out on top for casulities but the game was a one all draw. One point better then the Vixens. The other match to take place was between the Grimwood Voodoo and Brimstone Flayers. A  fairly straight forward match for the Flayers as it turned out. Much to the Voodoo’s fans dismay the Flayers dominated for the most part getting 3 past the Voodoo people. In the Voodoos defence they did score one touchdown.

Lastly we visit South Division. We go straight to the match between the Gelfs and WTF. Both teams have had a cracking start to the season so it was time to see who would end up top and win three out of three matchs. After a high scoring match it was WTF who took the spoils winning 4-3. The Gelfs were happy not to lose a player this match but i dont think it will be long till another player gets capped. Finally we have the Lighting Claws against the Tribe. Now once again we have two teams who have not scored a single point this season and if it wasnt for this match probably wouldnt all season. In what could of been a high flying game, for the halflings at least, it was a pretty lame match. The Claws had Morg n Thorg for support but in the end that wasnt enough. The Tribe snatched a 1-0 win. Maybe the only victory under their belt this season, but then again you never know.

Well thats it for another week. and its certainly been intresting. We’ve got some good teams on top where they should be and a shit team bottom where they belong (Vixens). Now dont get me wrong. I’m complety impartial when it comes to the League. I dont do favourites i’m not allowed to bet on teams i just thought the Vixens were going to do well. How fucked off am i at the moment. Oh well.

Just so you know i’m sleeping rough at the moment as no one seems to want me in their stadium or wants my help. Maybe the whole chasing Elfs and boozing it up with orks is still fresh in peoples minds. Maybe nooone wants a perverted, alcholic janitor around. Well screw you i’m still here.

Janitor.

Quick Summary of Week 5

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2511/12
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2511/12
  • 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2511/12
  • 20 Touchdowns scored
  • 19 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 13 Completions made
  • 28,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 5

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – NWC North

World Series 2511/12 – NWC South

World Series 2511/12 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 5

Player Statistics for the (Week 5)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 21
2 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 16
3 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 15
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 15
5 Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 13
Frey Gunnar Linesman Creeping Death 13
Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 13
8 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 12
9 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 11
Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 11

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 7
2 (7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 4
3 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 3
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 3
Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 3
7 Borzhar-Kul Beastman Drakwald Defilers 2
Gorsquakor Beastman Drakwald Defilers 2
Incltil Fellheart Linesman Brimstone Flayers 2
Harris Catcher We Tree Fellows 2

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 3
Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 3
3 Mehutu Se Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 2
Sutekh Iah Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
Sesslith “The Seductive” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 2
Kalbaz Skaven Blitzer Lightning Claws 2
(12) Furgus ‘R U Lookin @ Me?’ Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Ta-Kin-Root Mercenary The Gelfs 2
9 Amunop Nehti Blitz-Ra The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Ra Heribi Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 6
Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 6
3 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 3
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 3
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 3
7 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 2
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 2
Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 2

Season 6 – Week 4 – Beer, the solution to and cause of, all of lifes problems!

Hey one and all. Not feeling to brite at the momont spent a few days with the Temper Bay Marauders hiding out after the debacle in the brothel ang got into a drinking competion with the boyz and now i’ve got the hangovber of all Hangovers. Never trt out drinking an ork, they ork brew is trong shit. So apologies if this summary runs short but head feels like its going to fly away and i want to be done before the pink elephants start running thro my head again…

Ok so we had thre3 games take place this week 2wo in east division and 1 in west division. I think dhats right.

In East Division we had Universal Horrors vs Temper Bay Marauders and Blackburners vs  Deamons Stump Deamonicans. Now so far the only result managable int his division is draws. So for the teams sake and everyones elses a winner was in desperate need. Anyway to cut a long summary short the Horrors wre Universaly happy when tey beat the bad Tempered Marauders 1-0. In the other match the Deamons beat the Blackburners 1-0. Ooooo me head.

Quickly over to wWest Division wherw the Elfheim Razorhawkes took on the Valhallen Vixens. In a tense match which included Morg n Thorg (again) the Razorhawkes took the game to the Vixens and got 3 past them. To the Vixens credit though they did mange to score one of they own and cap two of the elf players.

Well thats it for another week and hopefully i’ll be in a better state for the next weeks summary.

Oh no.. here comes some that ork brew……

Maybe not.

Janit…

Quick Summary of Week 4

  • 2 games in OWC East – World Series 2511/12
  • 1 games in OWC West – World Series 2511/12
  • 6 Touchdowns scored
  • 7 Casualties caused (1 resulted in Death)
  • 2 Completions made
  • 24,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 4

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – OWC East

World Series 2511/12 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 4

  • Porky (Hobgoblin for Blackburners): Killed by a very angry Chaos Dwarf. Porky will be remember for his great quote” th-th-th-th-that’s all folks!” True words on this day.

Player Statistics for the (Week 4)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 15
2 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 11
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 11
4 Klarisa Oxymoron Witch Elf Brimstone Flayers 10
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 10
Fenrir Canus Werewolf Universal Horrors 10
Stabbity Hobgoblin Blackburners 10
8 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 9
Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 9
10 Graklur-Kal Beastman Drakwald Defilers 8

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 5
2 Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 3
4 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 2
Harris Catcher We Tree Fellows 2
Shell Two Underworld Goblin Lightning Claws 2
Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 2
8 Idhrenion Morcion Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Komono ono Lizard Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 2
Sutekh Iah Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
3 Amunop Nehti Blitz-Ra The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Mehutu Se Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Ra Heribi Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Baradhamon Lithaldoren Linesman Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Wannamuffin Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1
Sun In Eyes Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1
Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 1
Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 4
2 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 3
Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 3
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 3
5 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 2
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 2
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 2
Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 2
Klarisa Oxymoron Witch Elf Brimstone Flayers 2

Season 6 – Week 3 – Round Two!

Wotcha folks and welcome. This week i’m coming to you from the glitzy broom cupboard at The Brothel, home to The Gelfs… I…I don’t believe it… i just saw… nope it wasn’t him. Never mind.

Anyway, we’ve had it all this week. One player being eaten by a team mate, two deaths in one team, plenty of bashing and flying halflings galore and also some bizarre reports of a match taking place in a small forest…

So of to North Division where we had 2 games taking place. The first was between Creeping Death and Brimstone Flayers. After a valiant opening match the Creep’s were looking for some points to get their campaign going. After taking an early lead it looked as though the Creep’s could hold out and take the win, but the Flayers weren’t going to have any of that and quickly equalised. An so it went. The Norse scored again then so did the dark elves. The game ended 3-2 to the Flayers much to the brave Norsemen’s disappointment. The pressure now falls to those brave Norse Women to lead the way for all Norse kind. The second match to take place was between the Talos Tobacconists and Grimwood Voodoos. After holding last seasons champions to a draw the Tabacconists were out to prove their worth by winning a game while the Voodoos were looking to build on their early success. Most punters had their money on the Voodoos to win but boy were they annoyed. The Tabacconists had a first half chance ruined when the teams new signing tripped in the end zone. But in the second half the Tabacconists ground the Voodoos down and manged to score.

Over in East Division we only have one match taking place and quite an important match . Now so far in this division the only scoreline we’ve had is 1-1 draw’s. Step up the Blackburners. Yes folks the Blackburners have finally made their debut 3 weeks into the competition. Welcome to the leagueBlackburners and what the hell took you so long to get here… Could the Blackburners win their debut and will anyone win a match in this division? After a long and not at all brutal game (refer to my comments directed to WTF and Lighting Claws ie hurting each other please) the game ended dah dah daahh1-1. Yawn. Nuff said.

Onto West Division where once again we only had match. This match was between the Drakwald Defilers and the Tutsbone Jackles. In true Jackle style the Tutsbone have yet to win this season and it looked even less likely when Morg n Thorg turned up against them, again. A fairly quite match in all honesty with not a lot to report. The Defilers got a first half touchdown after smashing through a Jackle cage.  Then in the second half saw both teams basically pushing each about alot.

Lastly we visit South Division. I’ll start with the match between the Tribe and Wee Tree Fellows. Now when the WTF team cart pulled up at the reservation bowl the team looked bemused as the pitch looked as though it had turned into a small forest. In actual fact the Tribe had hired DeeprootStrongbranch the treeman to support the two treemen already on thier roster. Oh and Bertha Bigfist, a fine looking woman. Now these two teams arentstrangers having played against each other last season, with the Tribe getting the win.  Time for WTF to exact some revenge, I hope so. The match was a fairly gentle one with only one halfling being hurt(ish) even with four big guys on the pitch. The game ended with a win 2-1 win to the WTF’s but it could of easily gone the Tribes’s way.  The treemen were on top tossing form as they were able to toss halflings up the pitch to get those much needed touchdowns. The real let down was the stunty sods not being able to get the ball over the line, be it either not dodging well enough or falling over their feet on the touchline. Finaly the last match of the week between the Lighting Claws and the Gelfs. The Gelfs got off to a flying start in their debut match and much is expected of this new elf team. Before the match some were saying they could possibly be the next Loren Rangers (spit) depending on if they could keep their players from dying (catcher died last match). The Claws on the other hand lost their first match and dont seem to be to fussed about, suppose there is a long way to go. From the start this match was not to be a Claws winner. With usual freaky elfish speed and agilty the Gelfs manged to get 4 touchdowns past the Claws to their 1. That said the Claws did mange to kill 2 Gelf players. Could this be the beginging of the end for the Gelfs, who knows. On a lighter note the Claws warpstone troll got a bit peckish during the match and ate one of his team mates, this is the first time in the leagues history that a player has eaten a team mate.

Phew, that was tough going.

Well that’s all for now folks, i’m off to help fumigate the visitors changing room after those pesky rats have been in there. The smell is the worst past, but i’ve got a way of getting rid of it.

Janitor.

Hates The Jobs You Detest.

Quick Summary of Week 3

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2511/12
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2511/12
  • 1 games in OWC East – World Series 2511/12
  • 1 games in OWC West – World Series 2511/12
  • 17 Touchdowns scored
  • 10 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 16 Completions made
  • 24,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 3

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2511/12 – NWC North

World Series 2511/12 – NWC South

World Series 2511/12 – OWC East

World Series 2511/12 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 3

  • Shell Six (Underworld Goblin for Lightning Claws): Death by consumption! The leagues first ever death by a players own team-mate. This Goblins career ended short when his troll friend thought he looked rather tasty.
  • Ezel (Wardancer for The Gelfs): Killed by a dirty Skaven thrower. His career was short but somewhat meaningful…
  • Slut (Journeyman for The Gelfs): Killed by a Skaven Blitzers. She was only doing it for the money!

Player Statistics for the (Week 3)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 15
2 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 11
3 Klarisa Oxymoron Witch Elf Brimstone Flayers 10
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 10
5 Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 8
Graklur-Kal Beastman Drakwald Defilers 8
Azul Wardancer The Gelfs 8
8 Festus “The Pestitant” Chaos Warrior Drakwald Defilers 7
Hakon Gorestrike Wight Grimwood Voodoo 7
Kalbaz Skaven Blitzer Lightning Claws 7

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blanca Catcher The Gelfs 5
2 Little Running Behind Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 2
Harris Catcher We Tree Fellows 2
Shell Two Underworld Goblin Lightning Claws 2
Dushruk Hobgoblin Deamons Stump Deamonicans 2
Hamilton Catcher We Tree Fellows 2
7 Idhrenion Morcion Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Rog Turin Blitzer Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Komono ono Lizard Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Morg ‘n’ Thorg Star Player Star Players 3
2 Lucky Strike Minotaur Talos Tobacconists 2
Sutekh Iah Mummie Grimwood Voodoo 2
4 Amunop Nehti Blitz-Ra The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Mehutu Se Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Ra Heribi Skeleton (Legacy) The Tutsbone Jackles 1
Baradhamon Lithaldoren Linesman Elfheim Razorhawks 1
Wannamuffin Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1
Sun In Eyes Halfling Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 1
Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 4
2 Roxanna Thrower The Gelfs 3
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 3
4 Manwe Durion Thrower Elfheim Razorhawks 2
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 2
Haggis Linesman We Tree Fellows 2
Catheral Thrower The Gelfs 2
Aedeorl Coldheart Blitzer Brimstone Flayers 2
Klarisa Oxymoron Witch Elf Brimstone Flayers 2
10 Turgon Daeron Catcher Elfheim Razorhawks 1