Category: Hack of the Day

HDWSBBL at NAF Championships 2515

Hello Blood Bowl Coaches and Fans alike,

 

Last weekend coaches from around the Old World flocked to Albion to partake in the greatest and largest Blood Bowl tournament – the NAF Championships.

 

The games were thick and fast but when the dust settled the results for the HDWSBBL coaches were

  • The Doc 3-1-2 with the Naggaroth Black Crows Dark Elves and 51st place (from 150 coaches)
  • Sandwich 2-0-4 with the Gog Magog Gladiator ogres and 129th place overall but 9th for casualties caused.

But performance of the weekend was 2514 Superbowl Champion Purplegoo (rumoured to be making a return to the HDWSBBL after a season away) who finished 3rd coaching Wood Elves.

 

Congratulations to all who attended and we hope to get more HDWSBBL-ers to the next NAFC in 2516!

 

See you pitchside,

 

The Doc.

 

 

Season 9 – Week 4 – Leaguing all the way!

I wont be doing the cup games next week, why? Nagash is back. That’s why. Also, quick bit of advice, don’t overthink it, but; if you live in Nuln? I’d consider a holiday in the next couple of days, don’t bother to pack anything, just go. As I said, no need to think too much on it.

Monster Mashers Vs Oxmoor Savages

After their complete pounding by “The Hut” last game, Oxmoor were in a bad way. Half the team were in either a hospital or a morgue and basically the Savages had to ask if any of the fans had bought their boots with them. The resultant team was a ramshackle amalgamation of second-stringers, youths and drunks and all credit to them, that is how most Bloodbowl teams get started. In short Oxmoor made a brave stab at it, but the Mashers were having none of it and got a win that normally they’d have to work really hard for.

Luckily for the Savages those injured players will be fine for the next game, something the Blackburners will be happy to hear I’m sure!

 

Brewers Vs Darkfleet

After several shakey games, I think it’s fair to say that Darkfleet have hit their stride now, with the kind of high-agility cheatery and buggery that we all know and hate from Dark Elves. The Brewers played a despondent game and Darkfleet got the victory. These Dark Elves are going to be a problem as all elves are, I can feel it.

 

Comets Vs The Huts

Of all the teams I would expect to stop “The Hut’s” spree of violence and murder, Skaven aren’t high on my list. Well, comparatively speaking anyway. I mean it was still by normal standards a fantastically violent game, but by “Hut” standards, it was a bit on the slow side.

“The Hut” did manage to secure a 1-0 win with their solid defence and high aggression, but I feel that these early games may now give “The Hut” a lot to live up to. People are going to be constantly wondering why after 6 turns of play the other team isn’t all dead from now on.
It’s a big responsibility being known as a brutal psychopath.

 

Nordringen Titans Vs Blackburners

The Burners had finally gotten a win, a big one at that in their cup game against the Carcassone Paladins. Would this mark a turn of fortunes for the Burners, and be their first league win? Or would the Titans which were at last showing real if intermittent form this season nip it in the bud?

The resultant drubbing that Blackburners doled out actually beat goal difference records for this season and had many of the fans, team and coach wondering where on earth these wonder players had come from. The truth I feel isn’t quite as simple as that. On the one hand Blackburners played well, and after Mr Fumbles’ hat trick this game he is looking for an award for “Most Ironically Named Player”. Although despite lobbying from the Burners the Commission hasn’t commented on it as of yet. However, when you’re opponent refuses to defend his wings after going three-nil down because bull-centaurs keep checking his thrower I think any team can look good. Few will forget an openly weeping Titans coach begging the Burners for mercy this game.

 

Fairy Wizards Guild Vs Slaanesh Big Society

In the shock upset of a season filled with shock upsets the Fairies actually manage to win a game! Principally I think this was down to two factors. Firstly it’s a little known fact that Morg loves to score as the deep receiver! A highly jammy set of manoeuvers from Ezra Scariet enabled him to do just so. The Elf (ELVES AGAIN!) was so pleased with her successful pass she almost grew a second head! The second reason being that both teams featured equally discordant team colours and several times both teams, me and the fans got confused as to who was playing for what team or which end zone they were supposed to be scoring in. The Fairies proved able to take advantage of the confusion and score a 2-1 win.

 

Carcassonne Paladins Vs Arkhan Black Towers

The Paladins bounced back from their loss last game and gave an excellent showing against the Towers. The Towers though were having none of it, and slowly but methodically ground the Paladins down for an eventual and inevitable win. The Paladins still made a good showing as always but the Towers are very much one of the teams to beat this season.

 

Bloodjaws Vs Vixens

On paper this could have been the mismatch of the century. But there was one unexpected factor in play. Due to Bloodjaws usual coach: Urgrash the Fleshtearer was called up for a local WAAAAAAGH for a few weeks. So it was good news for the Vixens as the Bloodjaws would have a stand-in coach, the bad news is that this stand-in coach was Zandarik Deathbringer infamous coach of the equally infamous Karond Kar Korsairs.

Undeterred though the Vixens put on a storm of a game and Zandarik never quite connected with the Jaws playstyle leaving the Vixens to squeak out a draw that was very very nearly a win for them, only foiled in the final moments when Inga managed to trip over her own feet. What easily could have been a complete bloodbath for the Vixens turned into a real nailbiter that nearly came with the fairytale finish.

– JoJo

Quick Summary of Week 4

  • 7 games in Cross Division – World Series 2514/15
  • 18 Touchdowns scored
  • 17 Casualties caused (0 resulted in Death)
  • 11 Completions made
  • 26,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 4

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2514/15 – Cross Division

Player Statistics for the (Week 4)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Doggy Werewolf Monster Mashers 21
2 Ezra Scariet Dark Elf Renegade Fairy Wizards Guild 19
3 Prince Ehtar Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 18
4 Vilestorus Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 16
Lhakhi Harsh-Foot Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 16
6 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 15
Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 15
Ludual Sharpfoot Runner Darkfleet Assasins 15
9 Pennington Beastman Oxmoor Savages 14
François de la Maine Catcher Carcassonne Province Paladins 14

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 5
2 Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 4
3 Garash Rockhead Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 3
Mr Fumbles Hobgoblin Blackburners 3
Vilestorus Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 3
Shurtrik Floor-Hugger Hobgoblin Ashut Titans 3
François de la Maine Catcher Carcassonne Province Paladins 3
Ezra Scariet Dark Elf Renegade Fairy Wizards Guild 3
Bris Goat-boy Hobgoblin Ashut Titans 3
10 Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 2

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Prince Ehtar Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 4
Silvious Soulreaper Wight Arkhan Black Towers 4
Kaine Soulshredder Blitzer Darkfleet Assasins 4
4 LaQuinton \’Cuddles\’ Evans Ogre Nordenringen Titans 3
Hagfang Skullbringer Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 3
RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 3
King Rhami-Tep Mummie Arkhan Black Towers 3
Zhuthark Blood-Nose Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 3
Lhakhi Harsh-Foot Chaos Dwarf Blocker Ashut Titans 3
Korgak the Krazy Blitzer Black Mountain Bloodjaws 3

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 10
2 Émile De\’Manning Thrower Carcassonne Province Paladins 7
3 Ezra Scariet Dark Elf Renegade Fairy Wizards Guild 5
4 Ludual Sharpfoot Runner Darkfleet Assasins 4
5 Jager von Meister Thrower The Brewers 3
Buggerit Hobgoblin Blackburners 3
Izzies Ed\’ard Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 3
8 Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 2
Blunderball Bironas Thrower Nordenringen Titans 2
Vrograg Spleen Chucker Thrower Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blewit Smite Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1

Season 9 – Week 1 – And Begins The New Season!

Hello Blood bowl fans!

A cracking first week with some wonderful results for new teams to the league.  Not a huge summary of this weeks action but the office has been down the last couple of days due to squig infestation.

See you all soon on the pitch

The Doc.

Quick Summary of Week 1

  • 2 games in NWC North – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in OWC East – World Series 2514/15
  • 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2514/15
  • 21 Touchdowns scored
  • 28 Casualties caused (4 resulted in Death)
  • 16 Completions made
  • 22,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 1

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

World Series 2514/15 – NWC North

World Series 2514/15 – NWC South

World Series 2514/15 – OWC East

World Series 2514/15 – OWC West

Obituaries for Week 1

Player Statistics for the (Week 1)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 9
2 Reenu Kaves Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 8
François de la Maine Catcher Carcassonne Province Paladins 8
4 Brunbare Linesman The Brewers 7
LaQuinton \’Cuddles\’ Evans Ogre Nordenringen Titans 7
Vilestorus Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 7
7 Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 6
8 Grubnash Gouge\’hearts Black Orc Blocker Temper Bay Marauders 5
Blackfire Hardluck Chaos Dwarf Blocker Blackburners 5
Doggy Werewolf Monster Mashers 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Gutwrencher Ghoul Arkhan Black Towers 2
2 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Inga Runner Valhallen Vixen\’s 1
Grolsch von Lager Catcher The Brewers 1
Garash Rockhead Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 1
Matt \’Hustle\’ Hasselback Blitzer Nordenringen Titans 1
Reenu Kaves Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Steve the Bandit Linesman Nordenringen Titans 1
Nene Chaos Warrior Oxmoor Savages 1
Coneygear Beastman Oxmoor Savages 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 RK Jowling Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 2
Korgak the Krazy Blitzer Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2
3 Brunbare Linesman The Brewers 1
Nagosh Tear\’hearts Blitzer Temper Bay Marauders 1
Brett \’The Hitman\’ Kern Blitzer Nordenringen Titans 1
LaQuinton \’Cuddles\’ Evans Ogre Nordenringen Titans 1
Donny Jepp Chaos Warrior Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Hannie Athaway Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Awan Rotkinson Beastman Slaaneshi Big Society 1
Fluffy Minotaur Slaaneshi Big Society 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Émile De\’Manning Thrower Carcassonne Province Paladins 3
2 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen\’s 2
Blunderball Bironas Thrower Nordenringen Titans 2
Vrograg Spleen Chucker Thrower Black Mountain Bloodjaws 2
5 Jager von Meister Thrower The Brewers 1
Buggerit Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
Rankle Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
Morgrat Shadowthrow Thrower Temper Bay Marauders 1
Mr Fumbles Hobgoblin Blackburners 1
Ezra Scariet Dark Elf Renegade Fairy Wizards Guild 1

Season 9: Warzone, TNN and HDWSBBL

Hello Blood Bowl Fans and Coaches,

 

Deds Linearm live here from HDWSBBL headquarters looking to bring you a brief preview of how you can interact with the HDWSBBL, staff, coaches and pundits.

 

Here at HDWSBBL we like to interact with all the coaches and fans of Blood Bowl and there is no better way to do that than the Team News Network.

  • Get insight from Kai Konami on statistics, great players of the seasons past and present, and not to forget guest interviews.
  • Join Dr Viktor “The Doc” Nekromortis in the Surgery for team tactics, special pre-game analysis on big games, and predictions on the competitions.
  • Speak to orc coach Shigglez about who is “Gud an’ whoz izzn’t”

 

Also don’t forget to check the HDWSBBL news and Warzone magazine for all your important updates about fixtures and competitions.

 

From Hack of the Day

Deds Linearm

 

Season 8 – All’s Well that Ends Well:

Greetings Blood Bowl Fans and Fellow coaches,

 

It is I Doctor Viktor Necromortis or “The Doc” to you uninitiated people. I have taken control of “Hack of the Day” for this final instalment of the season to bring you the summary of the season and the “Bloodweiser World Series XI” 2514.

 

Looking back through the season I think it has been astounding that the teams have achieved so much.   The Talos Tobacconists showed their full potential and reached the Superbowl after winning the New World Conference; Teotigua had the Flying Frogs stroll into the playoffs semi-finals; the HDWSBBL had no fewer than 10 new teams join its ranks and records have been smashed (all too aptly in the case of the Ogres and their casualties)!

 

That brings me to the Finals of our illustrious competitions of the New World Conference, Old World Conference, Squitters Cup (the Shield) and the Superbowl.   The NWC as I said earlier has been won by the chaos red machine of Talos Tobacconists who finally showed all the grit required to beat the unbeaten Karond Kar Oblivion and take the trophy.  Well done to the team a huge achievement and shows what hard work and application can do.  OWC this year was closely contested as the Waterbowl Wanderers beat the Drakwald Defilers (who lose their 3rd successive conference final) to take their first trophy in the HDWSBBL.  The “best of the rest” title fell to the Har Ganeth Heartbreakers who ran rings around the very impressive Riverside Rainbows Halfling team but unfortunately their luck ran out when it was most needed.  Finally (no pun intended) the Superbowl 2513/14 was won by the Waterbowl Wanderers.  After an impressive start by the Tobacconists many fans saw the Elf team battered and bruised but Coach James Bonsack underestimated Elf versatility and instead of leading 1-0 at the half the elves grabbed an equaliser at the whistle.  Receiving the ball the elves took no chances and quickly made it 2-1 in the 2nd half and held out for the win as the chaotic destruction ground to a halt.  Congratulations to the Wanderers and commiserations to the Tobacconists it was a fantastic game.

 

Lastly it falls to me to name the World Series XI sponsored by Bloodweiser.  This year has been incredibly difficult.  So many good and game changing performances have left us with a plethora of talent to choose from.  However, I have narrowed it down:

 

#1: Thrower: Jenny Craig (SOT) – Again and for the 2nd year this girl has shown all the elves how it’s done in the passing stakes.  Jenny has teamed up well with Rita this season and the passes have floated and flourished with this Amazon calling the shots.  Great performance.

#2: Lineman: Wandlebury (GMG) – Did someone call for destruction? Well this ogre deals it out with 11 casualties in the World Series alone (not to mention his exploits in the playoffs).  As a coach why wouldn’t you want him on your line?

#3: Lineman: Asgoth “The Furious” (DD) – Narrowly missed out on being the top weapon of mass destruction by 1 casualty to Wandlebury.  Consistent over 3 seasons in his job.  What more can be said apart from “Can I have more than one of him?”.

#4: Lineman: Sesslith “the Seductive” (DD) – What better to go the other side of our Ogre than another Chaos Warrior?  Upping their performance from last season Sesslith has impressed with 8 casulaties and a most valuable player award.

#5: Blitzer: Duke Markus Varghulf (NN) – A rookie vampire at the start of the season who went in to the veteran Nightlords team just to steal the lime light with 6 touchdowns, 2 casualties, 3 passes and 4 most valuable player awards.  A “fangtastic” return from the joint “Player of the Season”.

#6: Blitzer: Matt “Hustle” Haddelback (NT) – I know what you are saying a Titan’s player making the World Series XI?  However all you have to do is look at the casualty stats and you can see why.  10 games 1 TD and 9 (yes 9!) casualties and 2 MVPs.  You will win many games if you can kill your opponent and this guy knows how to do it.

#7: Runner: Arcani Spark IV (AAS) – The other “Player of the Season” scored a Hat-trick in his last match and has 10 TDs all season.  Enough said.

#8: Runner: Gorsquakor (DD) – A season doesn’t go past without this player being on this list.  A slow start but his quality shone through as he lead the Defilers to another Playoff final.  One of the top players in the league.

#9: Runner: Balder (AM) – Another player who’s second season form pulled his team to the playoffs almost single handed.  Consistent scoring and ability to inflict pain on his opponents Balder is another player who can play runner, catcher or blitzer in any team.

#10: Catcher: Rita (SOT) – Without Rita and Jenny Craig the Temptation girls would have been shield bound but this woman is a class above when it comes to scoring.  10 TDs in 10 games says how valuable she can be for a team.

#11: Catcher: BeanBag (WW) – Lastly but not least a winner of the Superbowl with the Wanderers scoring 7 TDs in his first World Series and becoming a supplementary blitzer for the team.  Creates space for the other members of the team to work in.  A brilliant debut season for this elf.

 

Well my friends that is it for another season.  I wish you all the best for your post-season recovery and preseason training.  See you all next season in the HDWSBBL.

 

Dr Viktor Necromortis

Season 8- Week 10 – That’s all folks

‘ello Blood Bowl coaches to Hack of the day,

It is me Handsome Alan.  That bugger Deds had me locked away for blumming weeks on some rubbish charge of beatin’ a former player up.  I di’ nothin’ of the sort, just smashed his face in a little.  Any way Deds can-ne be with us today as I have him locked away.  In a box.  Underground. So I’ll be running the show.

 

Well this week has-ne been as good as last week for mutalations bu’ the girly scoring has been outta this world.  Lookin’ at the matches only only one really stands out as a massive punch-up Asgard Marauders vs Slanneshi Big Society.  I did-ne see this one but I heard all the damage was done near the end as the Chaos lads killed one and gave another an fractured knee injury he won’t be shaking off.  Brilliant stuff making the Big Society the Hack of the day team of the week although they lost 1-0.

 

Apart from that the best violence came from the Allsparks and Riverside Rainbows.  One death a piece but a shockin’ performance from the rat boys as we all know Halflings fall apart really easy despite a 4-1 win.  Otherwise the injuries were rubbish no one getting hurt so bad they were callin’ for their mothers!

 

The other part of the game – ball playin’- showed that he Waterbowl Wanderers were well on form beating the Titans 6-1! The Flying Frogs put 3 past the Sect of Temptation as did the Wild Brunch against Biohazard DX.  Well done the ‘flings! Other than that the Nightlords beat the Tobacconists 2-0 and we had two forfieted matches.  A terrible waste of players in my opinion let ’em play and die with honour!

 

So onto the playoffs wildcards as Gog Magog Gladiators play Teotigua Flying Frogs with a huge chance for blood to be spilt on the pitch.  Nachthaften Nightlords take on Slaaneshi Big Society in the other OWC match to goto play the Wanderers.  In the NWC Biohazard DX vs Arcanis All Sparks and Asgard Marauders vs Sect of Temptation are your matches.  Good luck to all and remember that a good opponent is a fouled to death opponent!

All the best,

Handsome Alan