The HDWSBBL:WarZone
September 29th, 2011
Hello and welcome to the broom cupboard at Asgard home of Creeping Death. As promised here is a summary of the matches that didnt take place in week 1.
2 matches took place this week 1 in North and 1 in South.
Firstly lets take a look at the game in North Division. This match was the debut of two new teams. The Grimwood Voodoo’s (undead) and Creeping Death (Norse). Now after observing the defeat of the Vixens it would be nice to think that Creeping Death would do their homework and not make the same mistakes. It appears that this was not to be. After much fantasic blood bowl the match ended 2-1 to the Voodoo’s. The same as the Vixens. It seems the Voodoo’s watched the Vixens match and picked up a few tips on how to beat Norse.
Now off to South Division and the eagerly awaited match between The Blackburners and The Temper Bay Mauraders. Hold on. It appears that once again that the fixtures list has been pissed about with again. The match that actually took place was between the Mauraders and Deamons Stump Deamonicons. Oh well. As the Deamons have already played one match and only drawn the pressure was on them to get a win. As for the Mauraders it was their first match and after missing the opening week it was time to prove their worth. The game was very close with no ground given in either direction on the pitch. The final score was 1-1. So not the start possibly for the Mauraders and not the 3 points the daemons were looking for.
Well that’s me done till week 3 needs sorting out. I’m off to show the Creeping Deaths janitor how to remove players from the pitch without hurting them further…
Janitor.
Quick Summary of Week 2
- 1 games in NWC North – World Series 2511/12
- 3 Touchdowns scored
- 4 Casualties caused (0 resulted in Death)
- 0 Completions made
- 15,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 2
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
World Series 2511/12 – NWC North
Player Statistics for the (Week 2)
Best Players
Top Scorers
Most Vicious
Top Passers
Posted in New World Conferance (NWC),Old World Conferance (OWC),Season 6,Summary,The Broom Cupboard,Warzone | No Comments »
September 27th, 2011
Hello and welcome back to my Broom Cupboard. Well its that time again when fully grown men (or women) with homicidal tendencies, IQ’s of a dead rat and far too much beer in them take to green fields and beat the living hell out of each other. This is just the bloody fans. Love it or hate it season 6 has finally kicked off and it has fallen on me to bring you a weekly summary of all that is going on…
Much to the commissioner’s dismay 2 matches didn’t happen during kick off week. The Temper Bay Marauders vs Blackburners and Creeping Death vs Grimwood Voodoo. The 1 week when it is hoped that all teams follow the fixture list before it gets all buggered up. Oh well…
With only 1 match being played in NORTH DIVISION it fell on the shoulders of the Brimstone Flayers and the Talos Tobacconists to get the division started. The Flayers on paper should of been more then capable to deal with a rookie Chaos team but unfortunately the Flayers were held to 1-1 draw. On the plus side they did manage to kill a chaos warrior. I hope the loss of a valuable player doesn’t effect the Tobacconists to much.
So on to SOUTH DIVISION where both matches took place. With 2 elf teams it was almost a given that both teams would perform well and win. For Wee Tree Fellows this was the case as they literally rang rings round the Underworld team. The score at the final whistle was 5-2 to WTF. One thing to the coaches to remember for following matches is that you are allowed to hurt opponents. So come on guys practise those blocks an cause some bloodshed. By the way you were also the only match to have no recorded casualty’s caused. The other match was between rookie team The Gelfs and the veteran team The Tribe (never thought i’d say that about halflings…). This was an interesting match with The Gelfs getting the result they would of been praying for. The only downside was that the “flings” weren’t going to let them have it all there own way. Those pesky little blighters managed to get elf an kill it. Poor elf was probably looking the other way. Final score 4-3. Hmmm…
On to EAST DIVISION where again we only had match played between Universal Horrors and Deamons Stump Deamonicans. Both these teams are new to this league so its going to be interesting to see how they get on in the coming matches. But back to this weeks match. This was an absolute slog for both teams with no ground given without a fight. It ended 1-1 with both teams causing a casualty each.
Finally my attention turns to WEST DIVISION. Again we have 2 veteran teams an 2 rookie teams hoping to make a name for themselves in the league. First off was The Tutsbone Jackles vs The Elfeim Razorhawkes.Hoping to carry on their winning form from last season the Jackles had a tough challenge before them against the Razorhawkes and it was. The Razorhawkes manged to get 3 touchdowns past the Jackles made all the easier by the fact they had MorgnThorg playing on their side knocking the Jackles about. The Jackles got their own back by killing one of the elfs. Final score 3-0 to the Razorhawkes. Our final match was between the Valhallen Vixens and The Drakwald Defilers. After a season out of blood bowl the Vixens have returned to west division to reclaim their title. both teams played to the best of their abilities with the Defilers out performing the Vixens. So unfortunately for the ladies it didn’t go the way they would of hoped losing 2-1 to the Defilers. Maybe the dream of west divsion champs again are dwindling for the lovely ladies.
Well that’s all the action from week 1, i’ll bring you all the action from the matches that didn’t take place as soon they happen.
Right i’m off to visit the Vixens to see if they need a man about the place an someone to console them. Could be in here…
Janitor
Quick Summary of Week 1
- 1 games in NWC North – World Series 2511/12
- 2 games in NWC South – World Series 2511/12
- 2 games in OWC East – World Series 2511/12
- 2 games in OWC West – World Series 2511/12
- 26 Touchdowns scored
- 19 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
- 14 Completions made
- 31,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 1
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
World Series 2511/12 – NWC North
World Series 2511/12 – NWC South
World Series 2511/12 – OWC East
World Series 2511/12 – OWC West
Obituaries for Week 1
Player Statistics for the (Week 1)
Best Players
Top Scorers
Most Vicious
Top Passers
Posted in League News,Season 6,Summary,The Broom Cupboard,Warzone | 3 Comments »
September 13th, 2011
Welcome one and all to” The Broom Cupboard”. Yes you guessed, its me the Janitor. After finding myself without a team to clear up after I have been press ganged into working for the HDWSBBL Warzone Press Department. Now your probably thinking to yourselves “Apart from cleaning out the lav’s what can this man possibly contribute to the league?”, well my friends I shall tell you. I happen to have watched over the years possibly the worst team to get beaten time and again (how I miss the Middenheim Manhunters so). So with this insightful insight I know what teams will make the mark and those that wont. My first task will be to assess the teams and see who I think will make divisional champions and more, then from there on I will keep you abreast of league happenings and any other fluff I can fit in between my other duties. Well that’s all for now i’ve got to go and clean the lav.
Janitor.
Posted in Season 6,The Broom Cupboard,Warzone | 10 Comments »
September 9th, 2011
When the dawn breaks through the bedroom window after a nightmare filled sleepless night you feel elated that the trouble is over and a new day can start. I feel that way today with the confirmation of the wonderful fact;
THE LOREN RANGERS HAVE LEFT THE HDWSBBL!!
Thank Nuffle. For 5 years they have tormented me with their flashy plays, their showboating on the pitch and fact they just appear to win everything possible in the league.
The League has never seen anything like them and possibly never will again. Since the moment they stepped out onto a pitch at the start of the 2506/07 Season the world at large knew something was different about this team. Yes, all Wood Elf teams are cocky, look like pussies and have homosexual tendencies but the Rangers could back up the cockiness with raw ability, something that drove me and the other coaches in that season (Hi Havlock) to despair (I won’t go into detail with the other two traits).
Since then they have managed to rub championship win after championship win into my wounds almost driving me to a mental breakdown (long time fans will recall that I had to be restrained from donning a RSV uniform and stomping out onto the pitch during an encounter in 2508). They have made grown men (and equivalents from other races) shed buckets of tears of rage and frustration with their antics.
Week after week, season after season we have seen them smash league records and fill out the top players list despite the best efforts of the leagues other competitors. Like watching a hungry Troll walk into an orphanage, you know the outcome is going to be ugly and make you sick but you cannot turn your eyes away from the unfolding spectacle due to some perverse pleasure. There is absolutely nothing you can do apart from pray to any god that is listening to stop the horror (or give you a bloody big gun).
But now the league can rest easy. The most celebrated team the HDWSBBL has ever seen (in terms of records, wins and ego – The Corsairs still beat them on number of Championships won) has now left us. New stars can rise to the top and be celebrated for the heroes that they are without always living in the Rangers shadow (unless they are Elves, in which case they can also fuck off).
Now is the time for the new (and few existing teams) to rise to the challenge and make a name for themselves. The path to Championship Super Bowl glory is clear. If history has taught us anything it’s that you don’t have to be the best team to win something (*cough* Tail Slammers *cough*) but you do have to be a determined, ruthless bunch or murdering bastards (back in the day ALL Blood bowl teams used to be like that – I blame the parents of these modern players for introducing concepts such as fair play and honour).
However I feel part of me is now missing. Just like flowers need both the rain and the sun, I need a team such as the Rangers to stir up the burning hatred inside me that makes me the popular man I am.
Like the aftermath from a bad relationship, I am never sure if I will be able to feel this much hatred towards a team ever again. Until we have a team that comes even close to the Rangers abilities I guess I will be a shadow of my former self. I don’t even have the turd on legs, the Little Dinos or the Manhunters to attack.
But don’t shed a tear for poor old Gerhard just yet; I am sure one of the new teams will wind me up within a week. I can already see some new Wood Elves and Skaven lining up…
So long Loren Rangers, may you burn in hell for eternity.
-Gerhard
Editors Note: As always, the above opinions are that of Gerhard and may not reflect the opinions of the HDWSBBL as a whole.
We did ask Gerhard if he wanted to write about any of the other departing teams this season but he declined. He did offer some brief comments which we have included below:
- Middenhein Manhunters – I have already said goodbye once and I am not doing that again. They will be back anyway when their owner needs some more cash to finance his prostitute addiction.
- Tail Slammers – I am not going to waste any words on those furry turds on legs. I get reminded of them every time I take a shit.
- Teotigua Predators – I am not finished with them yet…
Posted in Gerhards Soapbox,Season 6,Team News,Warzone | 2 Comments »
March 17th, 2011
What a month we have had here in the HDWSBBL. We have seen twelve games take place across three competitions. We have seen League milestones being reached, records being broken and many hopes have been shattered since the last WarZone update.
The hottest story of the moment is of Caneran Everlong becoming a legend within the HDWSBBL. It has taken him 53 games over 5 seasons to finally reach 176 Star Player Points but he finally did it against the Middenhein Manhunters in the 3rd round of the Spite Challenge 2510/11. The bookies are now taking bets on just how long it will take his brother to reach that milestone.
Sticking with the Rangers, as the final few games of the league stages of the Open Scramble 2510/11 have been completed, we finally got to see which teams qualified for the Championship V and which where sent down to the Cleaver Cup. In North Division the Shadows became North Division Champions while the Teotigua Predators finally managed to bag the runner up position after the Tail Slammers stumbled once again! In South Division the Rangers made a lot of people rich by winning the South Division title (their 3rd Divisional Title). After a lot of fighting, second place was determined during the match between the Rangers vs the Lustrian Leapers. If the Leapers could defeat the Rangers 8-0 then they would qualify for the Championship V. Sadly for the leapers they drew 2 all with the Rangers and the Brimstone Flayers qualified instead. They must have been hopping mad…
Damage Inc finally broke teir losing streak, first with a Draw against the Tutsbone Jackles in the Open Scramble and then a win in the Spite Challenge! Don’t get too excited yet though as it took them until game 9 to win their first match, meaning they officially have the worst starting tun of any rookie team in HDWSBBL History overtaking the Highland Nut Crushers and the Jackles!
Other teams have also had some highs and lows. The Brewers, who looked strong earlier in the season, got blown away by WTF and then mauled by the Gemcutters. We hope their sponsors have a good marketing campaign to cover this mess up. In other Human news the Manhunters managed to lose to the Rangers after such a promising game against them last time. At this point in time we are no longer shocked. The Manhunters and Brewers will face in an upcoming week to determine which one of them will qualify for the Cleaver Cup.
Once we get the final game of the Spite Challenge played we will announce the fixtures for the final round. Until then we will start to see the early rounds of the Cleaver Cup and the Championship V begin to take place. The news section of the website hopes to take a look at the opening round of the Championship V before the matches take place tomorrow (or today depending on when you see this!).
Quick Summary of Week 25
- 1 games in North Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 3 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 7 games in Central Division – Spite Challenge 2510/11
- 1 games in First Round – The Cleaver Cup
- 55 Touchdowns scored
- 33 Casualties caused (4 resulted in Death)
- 49 Completions made
- 2 Interceptions made
- 43,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 25
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
The Cleaver Cup – First Round
Spite Challenge 2510/11 – Central Division
- The Loren Rangers 2 (0) – 0 (0) Grunhelm Gemcutters (att 0)
- Middenhein Manhunters 2 (2) – 6 (0) The Loren Rangers (att 43,000)
- LR: Elesser Everlong, Caneran Everlong (x3), Elengad Greenstone, Arnotar Lithren
- MM: Mad Hamish, Reg Shoe
- Tail Slammers 2 (4) – 1 (2) The Innsmouth Shadows (att 38,000)
- TS: Arcani Spark, Bat Rat
- TIS: Hutchinson
- The Tutsbone Jackles 0 (0) – 2 (0) Damage Inc (att 22,000)
- Teotigua Predators 5 (4) – 4 (3) We Tree Fellows (att 31,000)
- wTF: (69) Jimmy, Harris (x2), Pickle
- TEO: Pikai, Keoni (x2), Mikala (x2)
- Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 2 (2) – 4 (2) Brimstone Flayers (att 25,000)
- wth: Geronimo (x2)
- BF: Aedir Blisteredheart (x2), Incltil Fellheart, Caliban Kroelheart
- Grunhelm Gemcutters 4 (4) – 0 (0) The Brewers (att 26,000)
- GG: Murin Quicksilver (x2), Lordrun Screeslider II (x2)
Open Scramble 2510/11 – North Division
Open Scramble 2510/11 – South Division
Obituaries for Week 25
Player Statistics for the 2510/11 Season (Week 25)
Best Players
Top Scorers
Most Vicious
Top Passers
Top Interceptors
Posted in Challenge Cup,Championship Cup,League Cup,Season 5,Shield,Summary,Warzone | No Comments »
February 7th, 2011
Another month, another catch-up summary! Rather then drag Gerhard away from his current mission (something about Skaven stealing his boots) we thought we would let YOU the coaches tell us about the past four weeks of the league (not because we are busy, that would be lazy).
To get you started, we have seen a few important milestones these past few weeks, to get you started, here are some of the highlights:
- The Second round of the Spite Challenge 2510/11 has taken place with the Cleavers firmly establishing themselves at the top of the pile
- The Manhunters getting a late second wind with star Von Lipwig remembering how to play the game after a few seasons asleep at te wheel
- The Loren Rangers confirming their place in a HDWSBBL Championship Cup Tournament for a staggering 5th time (although the South Division title is still up in the air)
- The Predators roobing their way into the Championship 5 (and becoming only the 5th team to qualify for more then one Championship Cup Tournament behind the Rangers, RSV, the Reavers and the KKC).
- Damage Inc become one of the worst teams in HDWSBBL history (our stats geeks are currently working out just how bad they are).
- One of the most violent, sadistic, rule breaking, cheating games of Blood Blowl we have ever seen in the league, and JoJo was not behind it! (although he was involved).
- The Tail Slammers play (and win) their 30th game in the HDWSBBL while mocking all the fans that bet that they would not make it that far.
- A Skaven, a Skink and a Werewolf establish themselves as the top scorers of the season so far…
So, over to you. Let your words echo through the ages. Don’t be shy now.
Quick Summary of Week 17
- 1 game in North Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 3 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2510/11
- 6 games in the Spite Challenge 2510/11
- 48 Touchdowns scored
- 39 Casualties caused (1 resulted in Death)
- 60 Completions made
- 2 Interceptions made
- 35,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.
Match Results for Week 17
(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)
Spite Challenge 2510/11 – Central Division
- The Innsmouth Shadows 1 (4) – 0 (1) The Tutsbone Jackles (att 28,000)
- We Tree Fellows 3 (0) – 5 (0) Middenhein Manhunters (att 26,000)
- MM: Sean Ogg, Mad Hamish (x2), Trev Likely (x2)
- wTF: (69) Jimmy (x2), Harris
- Teotigua Predators 3 (0) – 4 (4) Tail Slammers (att 4,000)
- TS: Arcani Spark, Nurglost the Expectorus, Super Rat (x2)
- TEO: Pikai (x2), Rikku
- The Brewers 0 (1) – 4 (4) Lustria Leapers (att 18,000)
- LL: Kukulcan, Quetzalcoatl (x2), Apoc
- Whereinthehellarewe Tribe 0 (0) – 1 (1) Orcland Cleavers (att 28,000)
- Brimstone Flayers 3 (1) – 1 (2) Damage Inc (att 16,000)
- Dam: Akku
- BF: Argthar Ashheart, Aedeorl Coldheart, Elvire Luridheart
Open Scramble 2510/11 – North Division
Open Scramble 2510/11 – South Division
Obituaries for Week 17
- Mr Weed (Linesman for The Brewers): After only a handful of games under his belt, his life and career goes up in smoke
League Standings for the Open Scramble 2510/11 (Week 20)
North Division
South Division
Player Statistics for the 2510/11 Season (Week 20)
Best Players
Top Scorers
Most Vicious
Top Passers
Top Interceptors
Posted in Challenge Cup,League Cup,Season 5,Warzone | 6 Comments »
Halfling Teams
The Whereinthehellarewe Tribe were the first Halfling team in the HDWSBBL history. They debuted in the 2510/11 season.
