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Report provided by the Elvish Sports Program (ESP) an affiliate of Sly Sports – “We know what you want to see”

We are at The Pit today to see the match that had it happened last season could have been described as The Clash of the Trash and what an excellent setting for it, but this year the Tail Slammers have shown excellent pre-season form and their early games are bringing them forward as a force to be reckoned with, the We Tree Fellows have shown improvement over last year but not yet the form that we know they are capable of.

First Half

Slammers kick, WTF collect the ball and the front row dodge away like ghosts from the line of scrimmage and start moving down field.  The Slammers are confused and fail to do anything in response. The catchers for the WTF move to better positions and out of nowhere Gariad blitzes Connor who goes off injured. It doesn’t matter as it is a pass from Hamish and Ant goes straight over for a touchdown.

On the restart the Slammers put together a good move and Remiflies passes to Snarle who hands off to Nurglost.  Arcant KO’s Mcoist and Nurglost goes over for a touchdown. Those Scaven are covering a lot of ground today that’s one all and only a ¼ of the game gone, it could be a high score today. WTF have the ball and Wallace throws to Ant, Dylan pushes back Lashiform and it is the gap needed and Ant is over for a second touchdown at a lightning pace. The slammers are back in play and Snarl throws a pass but the WTF manage to hold them up and the half ends with the ball short and the WTF in the lead.

Second Half

The cheating Scaven go before the whistle and Lashiforn pushes Furgus to the ground breaking his jaw, he is rushed off the pitch and the apothecary patches him up and he is good to go. Bremner takes out Snarl in response but again with some quick medical work he is back in the reserves box.  Dylan takes out Vectule in a brutal move (we believe he offered him a bath) and the rat leaves the field.  The gods of fate laugh and Mcoist trips over and knocks himself out.

Arcant bashes Wallace who is left sprawling and dragged from the pitch and Dylan returns the favour to Scetto by pushing him into the crowd, just in front of the black ork blockers from the Beaumont Blitzers who ‘just happen’ to be sitting in the front row by the end zone, still it would have been a waste not to use the complementary tickets.  The match is now lacking the passing and running flair offered in the first half and has turned into a real spectacle for the fans with bodies being removed from all over. Hamish throws to Dylan but the slammers get the ball back and Nurglost throws to Arcant who scores.   The game is even and there are only minutes to play.

The game restarts in a hurry and in a desperate move to win Hamish throws to Ant but he is on his own down field in the Slammers half and the ball is quickly stripped from him.  Nurglost throws to Scetto  and Lashiform injures Ant who will miss the last seconds of the match.  The ball is with Lashiform who trips up and the whistle goes.

What a match, both sides showed they could pass, they could run and that they could bash the other side.  I would have to give the game to WTF as they showed that they can score the touchdowns quicker and they can hold the other side up better, they did not let the Slammers get an equaliser in the first half and they were stopped dead in the second and it was only an slip up that let them get hold of the ball to score so close to the end.  The Slammers on the other hand put in some very good plays but failed to capitalise on their biggest advantage over a team like the WTF and their captain should do some soul searching over his poor performance.

The post match interview with Jock MacBigone quietened The Pit as the Scaven fans left singing their post match chant “We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal” he was clearly heard over the public address system saying “They may lie, they may cheat, they may steal, but don’t worry, they are as cr*p as we are”.

• This was the first time these two teams have faced each other.
• This match was highly requested last season to see who was theundisputedworst team of the season. The requests were laughed off by the HDWSBBL board.