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Report provided by the Elvish Sports Program (ESP) an affiliate of Sly Sports – “We know what you want to see”

We are at the Beaumont Bowl tonight to see the We Tree Fellows take on the second Necromantic team in the North Division, having managed a draw recently against the Shadows an exiting game with the Deadheads is hoped for.

First Half

The Fellows kick and a riot instantly spills on to the pitch, a few of the Blitzers fans have turned up to the wrong match and were after a refund. The game starts with some artful dodging from WTF but quickly Ian Crush catches Rufus and knocks him out cold. Several of the Fellows get one of the Deadheads on the ground and just as Bremner goes to put the boot in he gets caught by the ref, WTF are two players down and the drive has hardly started. The Deadheads get the ball and move down field, someone must have spiked the drinks in the Fellows changing room, as every time they go to move away they stagger back over.  The deadheads move to the End Zone and sit on the ball with two Flesh Golems protecting it and force the clock down. The fans are not happy, they came to see Bloodbowl and they are watching a Necromantic Picnic.  Kenny Dogleash knocks down Mcoist who leaves badly hurt after a quick rub with the magic sponge and Javier Masher gets caught by the ref trying to foul one of the fellows and is given his marching orders as well. Just before the whistle Bruce Cruel-Lobber goes over for the touchdown after spending most of the half sat on the ball like a giant chicken trying to hatch. There is just enough time for Bruce to get in a quick throw but the whistle goes before WTF can get a proper play together.

Second Half

The DD kick and Dylan throws a great pass to Ant. Fernando Tornado knocks out Bruce but the Deadheads are nowhere near the ball. The Fellows weave around the stumbling Deadheads, whatever it was that had slowed them down in the first half has defiantly worn off now, well done lads this is some better play than the first half. WTF have players all over the DD half and they can’t touch them.  Hamish puts in a lightning pass and Gregor is in the clear and goes straight over for a touch down.

That’s how you play the game lads, score some touchdowns!!!

The DD receive the kick but make nothing of the time left and the whistle goes when one of the Flesh Golems falls over dropping the ball. Shouts of ‘Robbish’ echo around the stadium as the Deadhead fans shuffle out in disgrace at their teams poor performance.  We can only guess that Bob Pastey was scared to death of the smooth moves and lightning fast plays of the Fellows and ordered the sit down.

• This was the first time these two teams have faced each other.