Tag: Winner

Hashut Hairy Hammers lift the Challenge Cup!

In a thrilling last round with all to play for the Hashut Hairy Hammers lifted the Challenge Cup in a close match against the Deadly Spawn. The Spawn only needed a draw or a win to take the title themselves after three superb wins over tough opponents. However the Hammers decided to ruin their party and crash them down to second place. Arcani’s All Sparks took third in the highest total score match in the leagues history beating the Averheim Eagles 7-5! Below is the final standings of the competition.

 

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Hashut Hairy Hammers 4 3 1 0 6 3 3 6 2 4 100
The Deadly Spawn 4 3 0 1 11 4 7 2 5 -3 90
Arcani’s All Sparks 4 3 0 1 14 9 5 7 12 -5 90
Suderholm Snow Leopards 4 2 0 2 5 8 -3 8 4 4 60
Khorne Stars 4 1 1 2 3 9 -6 7 5 2 40
Pastafarians 4 1 0 3 3 4 -1 9 7 2 30
Meadow Glade Mustangs 4 1 0 3 6 8 -2 4 10 -6 30
Averheim Eagles 4 1 0 3 11 14 -3 7 5 2 30

 

Congratulations to the top three teams who took home a total of 300,000gp spilt between them. And good luck to all teams in the future and we hope to see many of them take part in the upcoming season.

 

Corsairs, Rangers and the Slammers take Championship Gold!

Well, it has taken long enough but we are finally in a position to wrap up the 2509/10 Season of the HDWSBBL! We will shortly be recapping all the action from the past season before the new season ramps up so we thought it best to highlight the champions.

After several months of action, the four Champions for the season have been crowned. The final of the Open Scramble 2509/10 saw a surprising twist at the last moment. The Karond Kar Corsairs where lined up to take on the fearsome Atrocity Exhibition but due to the Exhibitions transport getting lost on the way they had to forfeit the match. With the policy that no final shall be determined in this manner, the league management drafted Exhibitions opponents from the previous round, the Valhallen Vixens, into the match. Despite the short notice, the ladies from the north battled hard but could not overcome the reigning champions. In the end the Corsairs defeated them 2-0 with 88,000 screaming fans in attendance.

Due to the format of the Pepslay Challenge, the winner was always going to be undetermined until all the matches had been played. Now that the dust has settled it looks like the final round match between the Loren Rangers and the Innsmouth Shadows determined the final result. With most people in attendance convinced that the Rangers would walk all over the Necromantic Shadows, it came as a shock when the match ended in a 2 all draw! The outcome allowed the Rangers to claim their first HDWSBBL Championship in 3 seasons and slotted the Shadows into a surprise 2nd place, giving the Shadows their first taste of silverware here in the league!

The Final of the Championship IV was a more routine, but still spectacular affair. By the time of the final, both teams, the Corsairs and the Rangers, had already picked up one Championship Cup this season. The Corsairs where looking for their historic second double and the Rangers where determined to finally lay their hands on the HDWSBBL Championship cup. In a fierce battle, the Corsairs eventually came out on top in a 3-1 victory against the veteran Wood Elves, once again cementing their place at the top of the League.

The final of the Slammer Shield was always going to set a record. On one side was the Tail Slammers, the very team that a season before had dropped to a new depth which resulted in the very competition they fought for being named in their honour. Their opponents where the Beaumont Blitzers, the reigning HDWSBBL Shield Champions and arguably pound for pound the greatest team never to win a major HDWSBBL Championship. With both teams using there trademark offensive capabilities, it was a great match for all 66,000 fans watching. In the end though it was the Slammers who defeated the Blitzers 3-2, ending their amazing turn around and becoming the first team in HDWSBBL History to win a Competition named after themselves!

After all that action, the Corsairs have once again cemented themselves as the best team in HDWSBBL History. Not only where they the first team to successfully defend their Championships, but they where the first team to pull of double more then once and the first team to do so two seasons in a row!

We are not convinced that we will ever see a season like the one just past but we imagine that the teams are already in training ready for the next season, hoping to outdo the exploits of this seasons record breaking teams.

Congratulations to the Corsairs, Rangers and Slammers, your names are now for ever linked with victory in the HDWSBBL history books.

Season 4 – Week 24 – Tail Slammers Overcome Odds as Championship Contenders Battle It Out

Just because we are around three weeks from the end of the season does not mean that things are slowing down around here! This week saw some of the biggest action of the season as the final of the Slammer Shield took place and the teams determined the final two who would compete in the final of the Championship IV.

The biggest match of the night was unquestionably the final of the Slammer Shield. The final was not due to take place for another three weeks but once again the HDWSBBL commission listened to the teams pleading to play their match early. From the word go this match was full of firsts (the Tail Slammers are the first Skaven team to play a match in the HDWSBBL World Stadium, this was the first time that these teams had met, this was the first time that a championship winning team had made it through to the finals of the following tournament, etc) but the thousands of fans in attendance where still not ready for the upset that took place.

The match began with both teams adopting their normal tactics; the Blitzers tried to pound the Skaven into oblivion as the Tail Slammers darted up the pitch faster then the Sly Sports cameras could track them. While most fans expected star Arcani Spark to be the first to score, it was in fact a relatively new Gutter Runner called Invisible Rat that opened the scoring. The Blitzers didn’t give up though as they used their size to their advantage and took multiple Skaven of the pitch.

Both teams eventually scored again taking the score to 2 – 2. With time running down it looked like the war of attrition was taking its toll on the Tail Slammers and the Blitzers would be the Champions. However Invisible Rat once again ran through the defenders to score the winning Touchdown for the Tail Slammers. As the Jaws of thousands of fans across the Old World slammed into the floor in union the Skaven of the world erupted in celebration. Believe it or not but the Tail Slammers managed to win their own cup!

While the chaos of the Slammer Shield final was occurring, the remaining teams in the Championship IV got on with the Semi-Finals.

The reining Champions the Corsiars took on the Predators. Going into the match the Predators had built up some impressive momentum and were looking for a win. However things turned sour when the Daemon Balefire took out Moxal the Kroxigor just seconds after the opening whistle! From there it was an absolute whitewash as the champions showed their determination to retain their title. The Lizardmen did get a few offensive shots in but every time they secured the ball it was ripped out of their hands. Despite their best efforts, the Predators lost the match 4-0 as the Corsairs go onto the Final of the Championship IV.

The other semi final was between the Loren Rangers and Atrocity Exhibition. Having already suffered one high-profile death this season, the Rangers where eager to avoid any direct confrontation with one of the most violent teams of the HDWSBBL. With their usual style the Rangers danced their dance of victory around Atrocity who could barely lay a hand on the nimble Wood Elves during the 1st Half. Eventually though there where times when the Rangers luck ran out and Atrocity managed to catch up with them. The end result was that two rookie Line Elfs have been killed and another player will miss the next match as the Rangers won 3-0. We would hate to be the next opponents of Atrocity as after the match they where angry and looking for someone to take their aggression out on!

This means that the Final of the Championship IV will be between the Loren Rangers and the Karond Kar Corsairs. The Final is due to take place in three weeks time.

The other three matches that took place this week there the remaining games in the 3rd round of the Pepslay Challenge 2509/10.

RSV took on the Jackles in a tense game. RSV have never had much luck against Khemri teams in the HDWSBBL and where eager to show they where still in the running. Despite still recovering from the mauling received at the hands of Atrocity, the team gave it their all and quickly scored to take the lead. The Jackles quickly formed an impressive cage and moved down field. After several attempts of breaking the cage open, RSV finally succeeded and popped the ball lose and run it home for a second Touchdown just before half time. The Jackles came out in the second half ready for a fight and took a few of the Velocity players out of the match. They stormed down the pitch and scored before RSV had a chance to regroup. With the game nearing an end RSV began to celebrate their likely win. Unfortunately for them Nuffle had other plans. With their available player severely reduced they failed to clear the ball from their End Zone in what should have been a routine pass. The Jackles took full advantage of this mistake and grabbed the ball and run it into the End Zone moments before the end of the match ending it as a 2 all draw!

The remaining two matches where unfortunately forfeits. The Bile Blitzers got the automatic win against WTF after the Elves no-showed for the third week running and the Man Eaters picked up a win against the recently departed Reavers.

These matches now means the 4th and final round of the Pepslay Challenge can take place as planned this week. Most of the teams will be taking part and if we are lucky we might just witness the 400th Touchdown of the Season! Stay tuned to the website and Sly Sports for all the news as it happens.

Quick Summary of Week 24

  • 3 games in the Pepslay Challenge 2509/10
  • 2 games in the Semi Finals of the The Championship IV
  • 1 game in the Final of the The Slammer Shield
  • 20 Touchdowns scored
  • 17 Casualties caused (2 resulted in Death)
  • 11 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 70,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 24

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Championship IV – Semi Final

The Slammer Shield – Final

Pepslay Challenge 2509/10 – Central Division

Obituaries for Week 24

Standings for the Pepslay Challenge 2509/10 after 3 rounds

Central Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
The Loren Rangers 4 3 1 0 16 5 11 4 15 -11 100
The Innsmouth Shadows 4 3 1 0 10 5 5 12 5 7 100
Drackwald Deadheads 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 2 1 1 70
Teotigua Predators 3 2 1 0 7 4 3 2 5 -3 70
Karond Kar Corsairs 3 2 0 1 9 5 4 4 5 -1 60
Atrocity Exhibition 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 5 2 3 60
The Man Eaters 3 2 0 1 4 7 -3 6 3 3 60
The Tutsbone Jackles 3 1 1 1 3 4 -1 6 3 3 40
Ragnars Swift Velocity 3 1 1 1 6 7 -1 7 5 2 40
Tail Slammers 3 1 0 2 6 5 1 2 11 -9 30
Grappler Flesh Grinders 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 12 2 10 30
Beaumont Blitzers 3 1 0 2 5 6 -1 4 1 3 30
The Bile Blitzers 3 1 0 2 5 6 -1 4 5 -1 30
Valhallen Vixen’s 3 1 0 2 4 6 -2 2 6 -4 30
Mc Cauligh Reavers 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 1 3 -2 30
We Tree Fellows 3 0 1 2 3 7 -4 1 2 -1 10
Orcland Cleavers 3 0 1 2 2 7 -5 4 1 3 10
Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 3 0 0 3 0 8 -8 0 3 -3 0

Player Statistics for the 2509/10 Season (Week 24)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Caneran Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 73
2 Elesser Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 61
3 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 59
4 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 55
5 Erison Youngwhite Thrower The Loren Rangers 50
6 Erza Wheedon Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 43
7 Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 42
8 Arcani Spark Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 41
Ashinan Wyrmbane Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 41
10 Seravina Spite Witch Elf Karond Kar Corsairs 37

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Caneran Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 24
2 Elesser Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 16
3 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 15
4 Ashinan Wyrmbane Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 12
5 Fredrick Roeder Catcher Ragnars Swift Velocity 11
Arcani Spark Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 11
Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 11
8 Ian Crush Werewolf Drackwald Deadheads 7
Bodgeit ‘n’ Scarper Goblin Beaumont Blitzers 7
Isaacs Shingnawer Ghoul Atrocity Exhibition 7

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 12
2 Briel Fester Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 10
3 Grim Bob Ogre The Man Eaters 8
Grgrad Moulder Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 8
5 Lashiform Rat Ogre Tail Slammers 7
Gariad Blitzer Tail Slammers 7
7 Oakton Treeman The Loren Rangers 6
Erza Wheedon Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 6
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 6
Horkarth Gravelender Wight Atrocity Exhibition 6

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Erison Youngwhite Thrower The Loren Rangers 50
2 (03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 27
3 Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 22
4 T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 20
5 Rulg Ear-Hacker Thrower Orcland Cleavers 17
6 James Hetfielder Thrower Ragnars Swift Velocity 13
7 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 11
Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 11
9 Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba Thrower Beaumont Blitzers 10
10 Shadow Thrower Tail Slammers 9

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 3
2 Trog Linesman Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
3 Peter Crunch Flesh Golem Drackwald Deadheads 1
Kenny Dogleash Werewolf Drackwald Deadheads 1
Hutchinson Wight The Innsmouth Shadows 1
Shunt Blitzer Beaumont Blitzers 1
Carter Zombie The Innsmouth Shadows 1
Paddy ‘the Player’ Punisher Black Orc Blocker Beaumont Blitzers 1
Varkon Darkblade Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 1
Bim Snotling The Man Eaters 1

Slammers win the Slammer Shield!!!!

In a shocking turn of events last night the Final of the Slammer Shield was pulled forward. Both of the participating teams (The Tail Slammers and the Beaumont Blitzers) had fought hard to get thorough to the final but in the end the Skaven made HDWSBBL History by becoming the first team to win a Championship named after themselves!!

This Championship ends the long path of redemption that the Tail Slammers have been on. After their disastrous performance in the 2508/09 Season all the press and the fans had written them off. However the Slammers trained hard during the break between seasons and came back as a different team. This season hasn’t all been plain sailing but they dug in and showed what they where made of.

With Stars like Arcani Spark running around the Slammers have torn through the rest of the competition in the Shield with relative ease. They have had no easy ride in the competition having faced the Innsmouth Shadows, the Grappler Flesh Grinders and of course the Beaumont Blitzers. Many people expected to see the team flattened but they pulled through time after time.

Let’s not be too hard on their opposition either. The Beaumont Blitzers have seen some good form this season (despite some allegations’ of them being chicken) and have defeated some good teams to get this far. They very fact they reached the finals of the Shield Competition two years in a row (and winning one of them) should make them proud. Regardless though, on the night, just like everybody else, they underestimated the Tail Slammers.

So congratulations Tail Slammers, the 2509/10 winners of the HDWSBBL Shield!

Season 4 – Week 23 – Rats Win, Orcs Lose and Rangers win the Pepslay?

Although we only had three matches this week, the fans watching in the stadiums and in the bars across the Old World certainly got lots of entertainment this week!

The first match of the week was an unannounced early fixture from the 4th round of the Pepslay Challenge 2509/10. It appears as though after all the excitement from the 3rd round of the Pepslay, the two top placed teams could not wait to get their hands on each other. After begging the HDWSBBL Commissioners to let them play early the Loren Rangers and the Innsmouth Shadows squared off to see if they could determine the winner of the Pepslay Challenge.

It was certainty unusual for the Shadows to openly look forward to playing an Elf team but just before the start of the match details of their diabolical plans became public. They had managed to convince the HDWSBBL officials that the Ranger Treeman Oakton was actually another Woodelf in a costume (after all, he did score last week) and as result he was to be closely watch for the match and any show of excessive movement or violence would see him ejected from the game.

With the Rnagers on their toes, both teams lined up in the sweltering heat of the match day (although it didn’t appear to effect the Shadows who managed to bring some thick sun screen with them! The Shadows managed to get hold of the ball early and take advantage of the de-hydrated Elves after a rare fumble by the Rangers. A few moments later the crowd was stunned as the Shadows took an early lead. The Rangers fought back though and it was soon 1 – 1 as the match entered half time.

The Rangers suffered greatly over the half time break with the majority of the team succumbing to the sweltering heat. The Shadows soon found themselves outnumbering the Elves and pressed their advantage and scored their Second Touchdown of the match. With the end of the game drawing nearer the Rangers had to strike fast or lose the Championship. In the dying moments of the game, despite the heat, the bribed officials, the spiked drinks and a very angry Werewolf the Rangers struck fast with a last minute Touchdown. While it lacked the style of their normal play it got the job done and the match finished 2-2!

As a result both teams finish the Pepslay Challenge on 100 points with the Rangers ahead on Touchdown Difference. With only two other teams capable of catching up with the Rangers at the top, their fans are already beginning the celebrate this victory however some people are keeping a cool head about this and are waiting to see the outcome of the remaining matches in two weeks to see if they Rangers are still the HDWSBBL Challenge Cup Champions!

The other two matches talking place this week where just as important. The final four teams in the Slammer Shield faced each other to determine who would be advancing to the Finals. As mentioned previously here in the WarZone there have been a lot fans who have been surprised by the form of the Tail Slammers! Considering the form they where on when at the end of the League stages of the Open Scramble it is an absolute miracle by Nuffle (or a daring plot by the Skaven council) to see the team reach the Semi-Finals.

With this in mind, this week they took on one of the favourites for the competition, the Grappler Flesh Grinders. As always both teams were eager to play the match even though most spectators (including Gerhard) were there to watch the Slammers get destroyed by the Grinders in what most people thought would be a one-sided match! What they didn’t expect however was the Slammers tearing away with the ball seconds into the match and getting within Yards of the end zone! Fortunately for the Grinder fans Arcani Spark stumbled with the ball and the Grinders quickly took possession. From there control of the ball passed between the two teams at a frantic pace. Every time the Slammers got he ball the Grinders would take the rat out, however before the unconcious Skaven could even hit the ground the ball was already moving back up the pitch! This stalemate was ended when late into the second half Shice Venom scored the First Touchdown of the match for the Slammers.

Not just content with taking the lead, the Slammers added fuel to the rumours that their form has been induced by magic by performing something I don’t think anybody ever expected to see. With the clock ticking down the Slammers began to fight back and started to take the Grinders out of action! Slowly but surely the Orcs where picked off one by one. To the relief of the paying public the Grinders came to their senses and began to plough through the Slammers as they celebrated on the pitch. As the final whistle blew the Slammers were declared the victors however only one of them was left on the pitch to celebrate, the rest had been carried off the pitch on stretchers!

The other Semi-final match was between the Orcland Cleavers and the defending champions, the Beaumont Blitzers. As most fans expected, this match broke down into scenes of extreme violence just seconds after the whistle. At times it felt like the ball was forgotten as both teams crashed into each other for long slogs across the pitch. At one point the Blitzers managed to break free with the ball but a hired Wizard struck down their star Thrower with a lightning bolt talking him out of action for the next match. This didn’t put the Blitzers off though as they eventually broke through the fight and scored the winning Touchdown late in the first half.

The second half saw no additional Touchdowns being scored, insted the fans got a repeat of the first half and saw the two teams attempt to demolish each other. The end result is that the Blitzers will advance to the Finals of the Slammer Shield and could be the first team to successfully defend the Shield!

So, the Final of the Slammer Shield will see the Tail Slammers take on the Beaumont Blitzers. We will find out the eventual victor in just a few short weeks.

Quick Summary of Week 23

  • 1 games in Central Division – Pepslay Challenge 2509/10
  • 2 games in Semi Final – The Slammer Shield
  • 6 Touchdowns scored
  • 7 Casualties caused (0 resulted in Death)
  • 10 Completions made
  • 62,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance.

Match Results for Week 23

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

The Slammer Shield – Semi Final

Pepslay Challenge 2509/10 – Central Division

Player Statistics for the (Week 23)

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blarig Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 14
2 Gariad Blitzer Tail Slammers 11
3 Eroshnak Fear-Hammer Linesman Orcland Cleavers 10
4 Erza Wheedon Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 8
Grunt Blitzer Beaumont Blitzers 8
6 Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 6
7 Elliot Flesh Golem The Innsmouth Shadows 5
Moses Brown Zombie The Innsmouth Shadows 5
Binak Hell-Mangler Black Orc Blocker Orcland Cleavers 5
Remi Flesh Thrower Tail Slammers 5

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Blarig Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 3
2 Bim Snotling The Man Eaters 1
Vragdish Nail-Eater Blitzer Orcland Cleavers 1
Binak Hell-Mangler Black Orc Blocker Orcland Cleavers 1
Nurglost the Expectorus Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 1
Invisible Rat Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 1
Erza Wheedon Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 1
(99) Connor ‘There is only one’ Blitzer We Tree Fellows 1
(7) Dec Catcher We Tree Fellows 1
Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba Thrower Beaumont Blitzers 1

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Gariad Blitzer Tail Slammers 3
2 Hairy Mac Ogre The Man Eaters 1
Flesh Mangler Ogre The Man Eaters 1
Rulg Ear-Hacker Thrower Orcland Cleavers 1
Binak Hell-Mangler Black Orc Blocker Orcland Cleavers 1
Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 1
Charles Dexter Ward Flesh Golem The Innsmouth Shadows 1
Jargon ‘The Jawsplitter’ Juggernaught Troll Beaumont Blitzers 1
Shadow Thrower Tail Slammers 1
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 1

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Vritz Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 3
2 Invisible Rat Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 2
T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
(03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 2
Braashnak Eye-Bringer Linesman Orcland Cleavers 2
6 Arcani Spark Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 1
Bat Rat Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 1
Macbeth Thrower We Tree Fellows 1
Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba Thrower Beaumont Blitzers 1
Fump Blitzer Beaumont Blitzers 1

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Paddy ‘the Player’ Punisher Black Orc Blocker Beaumont Blitzers 1

Season 4 – Weeks 12, 13 and 14 – Catch up with Gerhard!

  • Duration: 19th Nov – 25th Nov (Week 12), 26th – 3rd Dec (Week 13) and 4th Dec – 9th Dec 2509 (Week 14)
  • Competition(s): Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • Season: 2509/10 Season

21 days! Bloody hell it has been a while. Since the press room cannot organise a simple summary, the HDWSBBL management have asked me, the wonderful Gerhard, to try and summarise the last 3 weeks of the season covering all 8 games that have taken place. Well I’ll be buggered if I am going to have to work hard over my Christmas break so this may not be the traditional summary you are used to!

I think the best (read quickest) way of tackling this is to take a look at the Divisions as they stand.

North Division

The last time people looked at the standings of North Division, the Deadheads and the Corsairs where fighting neck and neck to determine the Champion for the Division (the last champion to be determined I should point out). As it currently stands the Corsairs and Deadheads are neck and neck at the top. Both have only one game remaining and that is against the Wee Tree Fellows. Frankly, both teams are going to come out with a win in these games so it is going to go down to Touchdown difference, resulting in the Corsairs taking the number one spot (as I predicted) unless the Deadheads manage to break the laws of physics and score over 9 Touchdowns in their upcoming victory (or of course, the Corsairs could lose….nah, I don’t think that is going to happen).

Speaking of the resident “Pro” Elves of the League, WTF have discovered that they are actually good at something (aside from losing). Over the last few games, their Thrower Hamish has been throwing the ball around like any lucky Elf and has managed to break the Rangers (recently) set record for “Most Completions in a game by a single player” (The league loves long titles for its awards doesn’t it!). Now, personally I am glad that the record was taken from the Rangers but I was hoping that a non-Elf team would take it. Never the less WTF are currently the best passing team of the season having set the record while suffering one of the biggest losses in their history (and they say Nuffle has no sense of Humour!). Yes that’s right, the Slammers managed to defeat WTF 6-3 in an admittedly impressive game. I was hoping that someone would have killed the furry turds by now but I don’t always get what I want (ps Slammers, still waiting for that assassin).

The Shadows also saw action against the Corsairs. It appears as though the Shadows first league win went straight to their head as the Corsairs managed to run home 3 Touchdowns without breaking a sweat! Nevermind JoJo. You still have the shield to look forward to, most of the Elf Teams won’t be in it (as unlike you, they won their matches!).

South Division

South Division has known its “champions” for some time. The Rangers *Spit* just won’t shut up about how they have gone through the entire season to date without suffering a single loss. I watched their game against the Flesh Grinders last week (I was hoping to see some dead Elves) and it looks like they have been partying too hard as they only managed to score three Touchdowns. This of course comes off the back of the Rangers near miss against the Cleavers who came within moments of defeating the Rangers (what a great moment that would have been).

The Grinders where hoping to stay in second place and qualify for the Championship IV but with their loss to the Rangers, and their loss to the Predators the week before, the chance slipped away from them and they have the Slammer shield to look forward too. I am a bit gutted about his because I had a small bet on them. Never mind, maybe they can track down the Slammers and finish them once and for all.

The team that ended up finishing in second place was the Midgit Dinos themselves. After pulling themselves together and exercising their puny bodies, they managed to get a little winning streak going. This was topped this week when they defeated the Orcland Cleavers in a tense match. Anybody watching the game thought the Cleavers had it in the bag but somehow Barny and company managed to steal the ball from them and score twice. Having faced two Orc teams in their Division, the Predators are hoping that they have finished with the Greenskins for now. Unfortunately for them their tiny Dino brains must have forgotten that they are lined up to play the Beaumont Blitzers in the next round of the Pepslay. I will be watching that one closely.

As for the Cleavers, this loss means the Cleavers are fighting to avoid 5th place and now have to fight to qualify for the Shield. They will go up against the Bile Blitzers to determine who was the worst team of Division.

East Division

East Division has been very quiet recently. With Atrocity Exhibition dominating from early on, the fight appears to have left the other teams. The only match played recently was the Beaumont Blitzers taking on the Jackels. The Jackels have been improving slowley over the past few weeks and held the Blitzers up a number of times. Ultimately though the “mean green fighting machine” scored a Touchdown to take the win.

This places the Blitzers on equal points with the Reavers, however the Reavers still have one more game to play. For them to slip into third place, they would have to lose 10 – nil to Atrocity which I don’t think will happen to these former championship contenders.

West Division

Last but not least we have West Division. A lot of noise was made a few weeks back about the game between the Vixen’s and RSV. With the outcome of the match determining the final standings of the Division, the match quickly sold out. As thousands of fans crammed into the stadium (including this ex head coach) to see RSV perform an amazing comeback, the inevitable happened and Velocity chocked! Yep, they had everything going for them, they have two of the best catchers in the league, they were celebrating 30 games in the HDWSBBL and they managed to decapitate a Vixen in the opening seconds but yet they still couldn’t beat a bunch of girls. It would not have happened if I was still the Head Coach. As much as I admire Velocities lead thrower Hetfielder, I would have skinned him alive for failing to pick up the ball that many times. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this to them but no matter how pert the vixen’s ass checks are, keep your eyes on the ball and not on the vixen’s.

Of course, as I sadly predicted, the Vixen’s are now West Division champions and will face Atrocity in the traditional North vs South, East vs West league semi-finals in a few weeks. There are still two games to be played in the division, both against the Ruskin Arms Bar Flys. Rumour has it that the Bar Flys have retired from the league. I am still attempting to get confirmation of this but if it turns out to be true it will be a shame (Gerhard actually likes a team, what a shock).

close

I think that covers all the action over the last few weeks. I now need to go and track down the reporters who are actually paid to write the summary and extract some cash from them for doing their job. This week, the second round of the Pepslay Challenge is due to take place. Most of the teams will be in action.

Oh, and if you think you have gotten rid of me for now then you are about to be disappointed as I have just been informed that I have to write something up about the Pepslay Second round. You just cannot get the staff these days!

Gerhard

Quick Summary of Weeks 12, 13 and 14

  • 2 games in North Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 4 games in South Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 1 game in East Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 1 game in West Division – Open Scramble 2509/2510
  • 34 Touchdowns scored
  • 18 Casualties caused (3 resulted in Death)
  • 37 Completions made
  • 1 Interception made
  • 41,000 fans was the highest recorded attendance. A new all time record for non-semi/non-final attendance!

Match Results for Weeks 12,13 and 14

(numbers in brackets are the casualties caused by each team)

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – North Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – South Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – East Division

Open Scramble 2509/2510 – West Division

Obituaries for the Period

  • Swanhilder (Linesman for Valhallen Vixen’s): Her face was crushed as the opening whistle blew. The Apothecary was still unpacking his things at the time and didn’t stand a chance of saving her!
  • Luke Fenner (Zombie for The Innsmouth Shadows): Killed by a scary looking blitzer with spikes!
  • Scetto (Gutter Runner for Tail Slammers): Killed by an Elf. Shocking really how an elf could kill someone.

League Standings for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (as of Week 14)

North Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Karond Kar Corsairs 7 4 2 1 18 6 12 11 7 4 14
Drackwald Deadheads 7 4 2 1 12 8 4 10 11 -1 14
Furry Turds 8 3 2 3 17 19 -2 15 19 -4 11
Pro Elves 6 1 3 2 13 16 -3 4 11 -7 6
The Innsmouth Shadows 8 1 1 6 9 20 -11 20 12 8 4

South Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Egos Inc 8 8 0 0 36 9 27 6 11 -5 24
Midget Dinos 8 4 1 3 18 16 2 5 5 0 13
Flash Grinders 8 3 1 4 10 16 -6 6 2 4 10
Cleavers 7 1 1 5 7 15 -8 6 4 2 4
Insert Soap here 7 1 1 5 4 19 -15 9 10 -1 4

East Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Atrocity Exhibition 5 5 0 0 12 2 10 13 9 4 15
Mc Cauligh Reavers 5 3 0 2 10 5 5 5 11 -6 9
Beaumont Blitzers 6 3 0 3 8 13 -5 14 6 8 9
The Tutsbone Jackles 6 0 0 6 1 11 -10 5 11 -6 0

West Division

Team Pld W D L TF TA TD CF CA CD PTS
Destroyers of dreams 6 4 1 1 16 9 7 8 10 -2 13
Really Should-have-been Victorious 5 2 1 2 13 10 3 6 4 2 7
Dum and Dummer 5 1 2 2 8 10 -2 11 6 5 5
Ruskin Arms Bar Flys 4 1 0 3 4 12 -8 1 6 -5 3

Player Statistics for the Open Scramble 2509/2510 (Week 14)

Too many Bloody Elves in the top lists

Best Players

# Player Position Team Value
1 An Elf Catcher The Loren Rangers 46
2 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 41
3 Another Elf Catcher The Loren Rangers 35
4 Fredrick “The best Human” Roeder Catcher Ragnars Swift Velocity 33
5 T’Yrong “I need a second name” Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 31
6 Yet another Bloody Elf Thrower The Loren Rangers 29
7 Furry Turd on legs Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 27
8 T’ong “I also need a second name” Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 25
Rotter or something Rotter The Bile Blitzers 25
10 A twisted Elf, but sill and Elf Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 24

Top Scorers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Caneran Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 15
2 Viktor Runner Valhallen Vixen’s 12
3 Fredrick Roeder Catcher Ragnars Swift Velocity 11
4 Elesser Everlong Catcher The Loren Rangers 8
5 Ashinan Wyrmbane Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 7
Arcani Spark Gutter Runner Tail Slammers 7
7 Valdrek Bloodgate Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 6
Elison Crownstar Catcher The Loren Rangers 6
9 Bruce Cruel-Lobber Ghoul Drackwald Deadheads 5
Bodgeit ‘n’ Scarper Goblin Beaumont Blitzers 5

Most Vicious

# Player Position Team Value
1 Eleeazar Smith Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 6
Lashiform Rat Ogre Tail Slammers 6
3 Grim Bob Ogre The Man Eaters 5
4 Varkon Darkblade Blitzer Karond Kar Corsairs 4
T’Yrong Blitzer Grappler Flesh Grinders 4
Briel Fester Mummie Atrocity Exhibition 4
Erza Wheedon Werewolf The Innsmouth Shadows 4
8 Captain Whipple Wight The Innsmouth Shadows 3
Joeseph Kluger Linesman Ragnars Swift Velocity 3
Gariad Blitzer Tail Slammers 3

Top Passers

# Player Position Team Value
1 Erison Youngwhite Thrower The Loren Rangers 29
2 (03) Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Thrower We Tree Fellows 20
3 T’ong Thrower Grappler Flesh Grinders 15
4 Doomvenon Rotter The Bile Blitzers 13
5 Rulg Ear-Hacker Thrower Orcland Cleavers 12
6 James Hetfielder Thrower Ragnars Swift Velocity 9
7 Shadow Thrower Tail Slammers 8
8 Erika Thrower Valhallen Vixen’s 7
9 Chuk ‘the Rock’ Lobba Thrower Beaumont Blitzers 6
Remi Flesh Thrower Tail Slammers 6

Top Interceptors

# Player Position Team Value
1 Trog Linesman Grappler Flesh Grinders 2
2 Carter Zombie The Innsmouth Shadows 1