Causing Havoc in the old world since 2506

Slaaneshi Big Society

The old world is full of celebrities, whether these are explorers, mighty warriors, blood bowl stars or the more regular entertainers performing on stages at the numerous taverns, inns and theatres across the realms of men. While a lot of the time these people are granted a natural gift others do them through bargains with the gods.

The worst kinds of bargain, are the ones you’re not aware of. Many parents dream of a great life for their children and granting them pleasure. Slaanesh always has at least one ear listening for the pleas of these people and will grant them when the mood fits. It does get more than a little frustrating however when people begin to use these gifts and share them with others. They are not gods, yet they help home people. They are not gods, yet they feed the poor and starving. They are not gods, and still they spend their time with doctors cheering up lost souls. They use their gifts granted from Slaanesh, to be NICE.

Normally they lose their calm exteriors and show their true colours, actor Lem Golson found his career (and life) end when after a few too many drinks after entertaining miners in Zhufbar he complained about poor service from a bunch of smelly lawn ornaments. Rusty Cowell was doing fine until he lost his temper and decided to eat an artist who was following him around trying to get a good portrait, the resulting painting of Rusty Cowells fist and jaws would’ve made the artist rich had a passing necromancer been able to preserve enough of his remains.

Sometimes, maybe despite their gifts they keep up some pretence of kindness, perhaps if a few of them had been told their soul belonged to Slaanesh they would have done something about it and at least killed a few adoring fans but no, they refused to do so. In order to take them, Slaanesh had to take advantage of Alric Relish.

Alric had been mayor of a couple of small towns near the Kislev border and had been very civic minded, well, towards his female residents. Slaanesh saw her opportunity and managed to arrange for Alric to become one of the top diplomats between the Empire and Kislev, all he had to do was arrange a large event in support of the damaged city of Mordheim, to help rebuild it and welcome it back in to the folds of the Empire.

From there Slaanesh made contact with Khorne, Nurgle and Tzeentch and between them arranged for a selection of the mortals to require the aid of a well respected politician and society event to clear their good names. One mishap after another and they were ordered by magistrates to carry out “good natured services for the community”. Helpful letters were submitted to each of them and they made their way to the newly refurbished Mordheim Community Stadium to do their good deeds.

The trap was set and as they stepped foot into the vip area of the stadium the walls made of unrefined warpstone began their work and started to mutate these paragons of virtue into creatures of Chaos. The only way, Slaanesh would truly allow them to go home was for an individual to earn their freedom in the toughest blood bowl leagues around, by scoring 100 touchdowns or causing 100 casualties. Though there’s probably a catch, there always is…

The Big Society made their HDWSBBL debut in the 2513/14 season with lowly expectations and aims. Despite incidents such as Fluffy deliberately dropping the ball as he goes over the line to prevent a 1-0 win over the Teotigua Flying Frogs and trying to encourage the Asgard Marauders to run up a score and still only managing to lose 1-0 they manage to surpass said expectations leading to them qualifying for the play-offs. Head coach Alric Relish was distraught by this as he felt the shield was a winnable prize and spent the close season bemoaning Arcanis All Sparks failure to beat the Riverside Rainbows by one more touch down. Seeing the draw for 2514/15 his confidence has grown and the Big Society will surely be eyeing up a Vase and Shield double.

Career Statistics for Slaaneshi Big Society

Team P W L D TF TA CF CA COMP INT %
Slaaneshi Big Society 30 10 18 2 26 44 67 58 16 3 33

Key

  • P: Number of games Played
  • TF: Number of Touchdowns scored by the team
  • TA: Number of Touchdowns scored against the team
  • CF: Number of casulties caused by the team
  • CA: Number of casulties the team has suffered
  • %: Teams win percentage (including Draws)

Performance by Season

Season P W L D TF TA CF CA COMP INT %
2515/16 Season 8 3 5 0 7 11 15 17 1 1 38
2514/15 Season 11 4 7 0 13 17 25 23 11 1 36
2513/14 Season 11 3 6 2 6 16 27 18 4 1 27

Performance by Competition

Competition P W L D TF TA CF CA COMP INT %
HDWSBBL League Knockout Cup 1 0 1 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
Old World Conference League 2515/16 7 3 4 0 7 9 15 17 1 1 43
Brunch Bowl 1 0 1 0 1 2 4 3 0 0 0
The Sly Sports Challenge Cup 2514/15 3 2 1 0 4 2 5 11 3 0 67
World Series 2514/15 7 2 5 0 8 13 16 9 8 1 29
Old World Conference Play-Offs 2513/14 1 0 1 0 0 3 4 1 0 0 0
World Series 2513/14 10 3 5 2 6 13 23 17 4 1 30

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Title Competition
Qualifier Old World Conference Play-Offs 2513/14

HDWSBBL - Did You Know

WE NEVER TOUCHED THE MANHUNTER’S BALLS!!

During a critical semi-final of the Anklebiter competition between the Innsmouth Shadows and the Middenheim Manhunters, a draw had led to extra time play.
The Shadows were in unseen form, and half of the Manhunters team were unconscious or otherwise in the dugout. Victory and a final against the Beaumont Blitzers seemed to be looming, when the Manhunters ball carrier was shoved into the crowd.

The resulting crowd throw-in however, flew majestically over the Shadows players before accurately landing directly into their endzone, whereupon it was relative childs play for Sam Vimes to skirt past the clumsy hands of the Shadow’s Zombies and Flesh Golems and get the golden goal.

The controversy came when it transpired that the entire front row of the stands where that outrageous throw had come from happened to have been bought up by the entire Loren Rangers.

Understandably, the Innsmouth Shadow’s coach: Joseph “I see pointy eared people” Curwen was less than amused at this.

Though spokespersons for the Loren Rangers have often denied all allegations of ball handling, this incident did nothing to improve Curwens growing hatred and paranoia concerning Elves of all kind.

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